Like a Laceration to the Soul
by davis-baker
Summary: They were a small, happy family. Nobody was going to be able to change that. Nobody was going to be able to take that away. BL! R&R CHAPTER 25! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – I shouldn't be starting a new story, but I couldn't get this out of my head. I think it's pretty different; I don't think it's been done before, but maybe it has, I don't know. **

**Anyways, if you enjoy it and would like to see it being continued, let me know!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 1 -

Brooke Davis smiled at the pleasant sounds in her house. Nothing felt better than to wake up to an extremely charming fiancé and a happy and cheerful son. Life couldn't get anymore perfect.

She heard her son laugh and noticed that once he entered the kitchen, he wore a bright smile.

"And what's so funny, mister?" Brooke asked while preparing breakfast.

"Daddy and I were just watching some cartoons." The young boy with blonde hair and striking blue eyes replied as he walked closer to his mother, trying to see over her shoulder as to what she was making for breakfast. He tried standing on his tippy toes but it was a failed attempt. "It smells good, mama. What is it and when will it be done?" He asked, famished.

"You're a hungry little boy this morning." She noted bending down to kiss his cheek. "And it's your favorite. Chocolate chip pancakes with extra, extra chocolate chips." She winked at him.

"Yes!" He cheered.

"What is this I hear about chocolate chip pancakes?" Lucas Scott approached the two, picking up his son and tickling him. Nothing sounded better than the laughter of his son.

"Well good morning to you, too, soon to be hubby." Brooke said happily, taking a quick glance down at her engagement ring, smiling to herself at the thought of how much they loved each other.

"Hello Mrs. Soon to be Scott. And how are you this morning?" By then, he had placed their son down on the floor and wrapped his arms around his fiancée, kissing her temple.

"Oh, I'm fine. I just love slaving over this hot stove making breakfast for you. I bet it's a turn on, right?" She smirked and turned around so she could kiss him on the lips.

"Yuck! Mama, you're supposed to be making my breakfast. Get back to it before it burns!"

Lucas and Brooke pulled apart and smiled at their demanding five-year-old son.

"Sawyer Keith Scott." Brooke spoke, placing her hands on her hips for emphasis on what was supposed to be her angry attitude. "What's the magic word?"

Sawyer stood for a second, contemplating on the answer his mother was looking for. "Umm…Please?"

"Alright then." She replied and turned back to tend to the breakfast.

Sawyer smiled triumphantly and took his place at the kitchen table, preparing to enjoy his favorite breakfast in the whole world that only his mother knew how to make perfectly, just the way he liked it.

"Oh, and to answer your prior question; yes." Lucas leaned into Brooke and whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "You look so sexy when you've got pancake batter on your face."

Brooke laughed and shook her head, placing the food on plates. "You're just saying that because you didn't get any last night."

"Possibly." Lucas shrugged with a slight laugh.

"Well besides, I don't have pancake batter on my face! I'm a very skilled cook." She joked as she took the plates off the counter after putting syrup on the side, soon placing one of the plates in front of her son. "Isn't that right, Sawyer?" She patted his head as he began to dig in.

"Uh huh." He mumbled in between chews though both Lucas and Brooke knew he had no clue as to what they were talking about.

Lucas laughed and just shook his head, pulling out a chair for Brooke to sit in, and then another for himself. "Just eat your breakfast, son."

"Don't worry." Brooke spoke up for her son whose mouth was full of pancakes and syrup. "He will."

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"Oh, mama, it was so cool. You should've been there!" Sawyer exclaimed once he and Lucas returned home from their fishing trip.

"I wish I was, bud. But you know fish aren't mama's thing. But I'm glad you guys enjoyed it." Brooke replied contently, helping her son take off his sweatshirt before throwing it in the hamper to be washed.

"At first I was scared 'cause daddy told me to be careful 'cause he has a scar from a fishin' hook that went right through his thumb. It was from when he and his Uncle Keith- the one I'm named after, right?-went fishing! But he told me not to be scared and I caught a fish this big!" He spread his arms out wide and Brooke nodded, letting him go on with his story.

Sawyer was a boy who could talk a mile a minute and wouldn't stop unless someone stopped him. Lucas, unbeknown to both Sawyer and Brooke, stood in the doorway, watching the two interact.

"Daddy couldn't even catch one that big! But then I let it go back in the ocean because I felt bad for it. And it swam away."

"Well, I'm sure it was very grateful that someone like you caught it."

"I know." Sawyer agreed. "But I wish you saw it. You would've been so proud, mama."

"I'm sure daddy got some pictures of you with it. And I'm very proud of you, buddy. Now let's go start that bath of yours. You smell like fish." Brooke made a face and pinched her nose together with her fingers. "Yucky. You don't wanna go over to Aunt Haley and Uncle Nate's house like that, do you?"

"We're going there?" Sawyer's eyes lit up at the mention of his aunt and uncle.

"Yup, for dinner. So we better get you washed up." Brooke grabbed his hand and when she turned around, she was pleasantly surprised to find Lucas standing there, a small smile gracing his lips.

"Do you always eavesdrop on us, broody?"

"Ehh, when I'm bored." He joked. He then wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders as the three began to walk down the hallway. "So, how was your alone time?"

"Great. I spoke to Haley on the phone for a good few hours-"

"-But you're seeing her tonight…" Lucas cut in.

"So?"

"What's there going to be left to talk about?" He asked confused.

"You obviously don't understand girls." Brooke shook her head.

"You got that right." He laughed. "It's a good thing it's two guys against one girl in this household. Sawyer and I keep this place in tip top shape."

"Yeah, we do, mama."

"Sure you guys do." All Brooke could do was smile and agree with them.

"Anyways, I was also able to get some work done for my new line finally. But most of all, I missed my boys."

"Good to hear it." Lucas replied, leaning in to give her a kiss. However, Brooke pushed him away. He gave her a questioning look.

"You kinda smell like fish." She explained. "You 'oughta jump in the shower, too." She patted his shoulder and walked away.

"I don't understand girls either, daddy." Sawyer said with a smile as Brooke walked away from he and his father.

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"And here…" Haley pointed to the image. "Is little baby girl Scott." In one hand, she held a sonogram, while the other hand gently rubbed her five month pregnant stomach.

"Aw, Hales." Brooke sighed in fascination, leaning in to give her best friend a hug. "So the doctor said everything's fine? Everything's right on target, the way it needs to be?"

Haley, whose hormones had gotten the best of her, resulting in tearful eyes, nodded.

"That's great. I promise you I'm going to be the best aunt and godmother the world has ever seen. You'll see." She gushed.

"Oh, I don't doubt it, Brooke Davis. You're an amazing mother to Sawyer."

Brooke's eyes drifted away from Haley to Sawyer who stood just outside the kitchen window in the backyard with a basketball held underneath his arm. He seemed well engaged in a conversation Lucas and Nathan were having.

"Thanks, Hales." Brooke smiled and then returned to the subject of baby girl names, a common discussion topic the two friends had often spoke of when everything else that needed to be was said.

"Dude, just brace yourself." Lucas, from outside, advised Nathan. "Babies are very needy. Always crying, needing attention, needing a diaper change or a feeding…Good luck, you'll need it." Lucas smirked, clapping his younger brother on the back.

"Gee, thanks for the bout of confidence."

"Hey, I'm just stating the truth…of course, Sawyer wasn't like that. He was the perfect little guy. Never cried, never wanted much."

At Lucas's words, Sawyer looked up at his uncle and father and smiled innocently.

"Of course now's a different story. Always 'I want this' or 'I want that'." He joked, anxious to see his son's reaction.

"Hey! I'm not a bad kid! I'm good, uncle Nate. Daddy's lying." Sawyer directed his eyes towards his father and shook his head. "That's not nice, daddy."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry. You're a great kid, buddy." Lucas pulled him in for a hug. "You'll do great, Nate." Lucas told him seriously. "Just enjoy it. Fatherhood's the best thing that ever happened to me."

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"Do I have to go to sleep now?" Sawyer asked in a whiny voice as he sat in front of the television, highly interested in a show that was on.

"Yes now." Brooke stood up and took the remote from Lucas, who wasn't helping matters, and turned the tv off.

"Hey, I was watching that." Lucas replied to her actions. She shot him a glare and he shut up.

"It's way past your bedtime. Five year olds aren't supposed to be up this late."

"But I'm a special five year old." He tried to argue.

"That may be, honey, but not a special one that gets to go to sleep at midnight. You don't want to be falling asleep tomorrow do you?"

"Why?" He asked curiously, getting up from his spot on the couch. "What's tomorrow?"

"Well, that's for me to know and for you to find out. All I can say is, the faster you go to sleep, the faster you wake up tomorrow and find out."

"Hmmm…" Sawyer stretched out a yawn. "I'm kinda tired now, mama."

Brooke laughed. "That's what I thought."

As Brooke grabbed her son's hand, the phone rang throughout the house. "Who'd be calling this late?" She asked, looking over to Lucas.

It was nearly eleven o clock, and they usually never received calls that late.

"I'll get him to bed and you get the phone?"

He nodded, and got up, ready to retrieve the phone.

"So." Brooke spoke after tucking Sawyer in. "Are you excited to become a big cousin to Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan's baby?"

"Uh huh." He shook his head up and down.

"Good, I'm glad."

"Hey, mama?"

"Yeah…"

"Where do babies come from?"

"You know, that's an awfully big question for such a little boy."

"I'm not a little boy, mama. I'm five." He held up five fingers to prove his point.

"Oh, I see. Well, sorry."

"So…where do they come from?" He urged her for an answer.

"Well, Sawyer, they come from a mommy's tummy."

"A mommy's tummy?" He repeated. "So…right there…?" He sat up and reached for Brooke's stomach, pressing into it.

She took his hand and nodded. "Yeah…right there."

"Oh…I see."

Brooke smiled and took his hand, placed a kiss on it and laid it back down. "That all, baby?"

"Mhmm. Goodnight, mama. I love you."

"Love you, too." She pressed a kiss to his forehead and then walked towards the door, shutting the light off, and then leaving the room.

She walked down the stairs and turned the corner to get back to Lucas in the living room, where she'd ask about who was on the phone.

"Hey, baby." She greeted cheerfully, and sat down next to him on the couch. "Who was that calling at this hour?"

When Lucas didn't answer right away, she immediately suspected something was wrong.

"Oh, god…was it…was it Haley? Is it the baby? I need to go be with her." Brooke ranted as she got up and frantically paced the room.

"No." He finally spoke, catching her off guard.

"…No?" She replied, taking her seat again. "Luke, what is it? You're starting to scare me…Is Haley okay?"

"Yeah, Brooke. That wasn't Haley."

Brooke sighed in relief but soon was once again taken over by confusion and fear. Then who was it?

"Lucas…"

"Brooke, now I need you to keep calm when I tell you this-"

"-Just tell me, Lucas!"

"That was _Peyton_."

Her face instantly fell at the mention of the name. Peyton? Peyton Sawyer? It just couldn't be. No. That was impossible.

"W-what?" She instantly stood up. "Oh, god, no. No, Lucas."

"She says she's back in town." Lucas went on, knowing there was no way he was going to get Brooke to calm down at this point. "That she wants to come…come and visit him."

"She _can't_. No, goddamn it, no!"

"Brooke, babe…"

"She can't come back into our lives like this. She can't come back into _his_ life! I won't let her." Brooke hadn't realized she had been crying until Lucas had gone up to her and wiped away her freshly fallen tears, proceeding to wrap his arms around her body.

He wanted to make her feel okay. He wanted to make her feel safe and happy. But he knew with the recent news, she wasn't going to be like that. She _couldn't_ be like that.

"He's not _hers_ anymore, Lucas."

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**A/N – Kinda confused? Well if you are, don't worry. Some chapters will be having flashbacks to fill you in. I sorta just wanted to leave you hanging with this chapter lol.**

**Let me know what you think of the story!**

**Thanks! :)**

**--Melissa**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – I'm so glad so many of you like this new story! The first chapter got a great response. Some of you were slightly confused, and I'm hoping this chapter clears a few things up for you.**

**Thanks: **becky89, RealSelflessLove, Long Live BRUCAS, liverpoolss, FTW, Shanynde, bella, BrookeLucasForever, Brucas10, CheerandBrood323, arygon199, sunshine, dolcegrazia, Othhillfan, Mosie1213, tanya2byour21, zoe, dianehermans, **and **monkeyluver012.

**Thanks so much and I hope you enjoy and review this chapter!!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 2 -

Lucas couldn't be right. Peyton Sawyer couldn't be back in town. She wasn't supposed to be. She wasn't welcomed anymore.

When Lucas had told her, Brooke just broke down. She fell apart out of anger, out of confusion, but most importantly, out of fear. Fear about what was to come and what was going to happen to them; the three of them.

Why was this happening to her and her perfect family?

"_How's_ _he doing?" Brooke held her strong demeanor as she walked into the NICU. She looked over to Peyton, who sat slumped in a chair beside an incubator, her eyes full of dread. _

"_The doctors said no change." Peyton shook her head slowly. _

_Brooke paused to look over at the incubator. In it lied an extremely small newborn baby boy. "Any ideas for a name?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood._

"_I'm not thinking about names now, Brooke. Not now. If he doesn't make it…"_

"_Peyton…" Brooke sighed desperately._

"_He needs a new heart, and if not, he'll die."_

"_Well, you can't talk like that, Peyton. You need to stay positive. You need to stay positive for your fiancé who is going through the same exact thing as you, and for your son who needs that extra hope. Just think, when your son gets out of here, healthy as can be, you're going to be getting married to the man you love. You have to keep that kind of optimism otherwise the attitude you're sporting is the type that only makes things seem worse."_

"_You don't get it." Peyton shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I can talk with whatever attitude I want, Brooke. You're not the one going through this! You're not the one who gave birth to a sick child!" Peyton snapped at her and stood up from her chair. "You don't know what it's like. So don't you dare tell me how to act." She proceeded to brush past Brooke and walk out into the hospital's hallway._

_As Peyton went out, Lucas had just begun to come in._

_He shot Brooke a questioning glare, but Brooke ignored his glance and plopped down into the chair Peyton had been sitting in. "Great. I'm the worst best friend ever. I just got into a fight with your fiancée while her son's life is hanging in the balance."_

_Lucas shook his head as he pulled up a chair next to Brooke. "Peyton's just been on edge. It's tough." _

"_How've you been doing?" Brooke asked as she watched him stare at his son hopelessly. _

"_Miserable." He stated simply. "But I've got to keep positive. He's a strong little guy." Lucas spoke confidently, letting a small smile form on his lips. "I know my little boy will pull through. He'll get his heart."_

"Is it safe to come in?" Lucas knocked lightly on the door of the bedroom he shared with Brooke. He walked in slowly, still receiving no response. "You know, I was starting to think you got lost in here or something." He joked.

She had told him she was just going upstairs to get something, and twenty minutes later, she still had not returned down to him, so he decided it was best to go up.

"I _can't_ believe this is happening. It's not supposed to happen." She bit down hard on her lip, closing her eyes. She felt the tears slip beneath her eyelids onto her cheeks and she wondered if Lucas knew she was crying again.

"Well, maybe, maybe this is a good thing." He replied. "Maybe now we can get everything settled and Sawyer can be yours, officially."

"She doesn't want me adopting him, Lucas." Brooke told him sternly, her voice dripping with venom. "We went over this when he was one and a half years old. It didn't work out." She gripped the picture frame in her hands tighter, pulling it closer to her body.

Lucas then realized what she was looking at and smiled.

It was a picture of himself, Sawyer, and Brooke, only a few short days after he had gotten home from the hospital and from his surgery. He looked small and weak in the picture, yet the photograph stood as a very important one. It was the first picture of their family.

"Do you remember that day?" He sat down beside her on the bed, glancing over to get a better look at the picture.

"Of course." Brooke mumbled, wiping away at her tears. "How could I not?"

"I remember you that day, Brooke. The way you held him so carefully, made sure he was okay every waking moment since he got home from the hospital-"

"I had practice with Angie." She spoke of the young girl she had taken care of years ago.

"Yeah, you did. But only a true mother can have expertise like you did. It doesn't matter what the legal papers say, Brooke. You'll always be his mother. In his eyes and in mine. You've been there for him every step of the way."

She nodded at his truthful words. "You know, I remember when he called me mama for the first time..." She smiled tearfully at the memory. "I had come over to give you a hand one day. I thought maybe I would take you guys to the park or something. And he said it. I was…um, I was changing his outfit 'cause you had a horrible sense of fashion, still do." She added with a tearful laugh. "I had just finished up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him he looked handsome. He looked up at me with the same blue eyes as you and he called me mama. I remember right there and then I would forever think of him as my own son, no matter what." She explained as she placed the picture down on the table beside the bed.

Lucas nodded encouragingly as he held her hand.

"I knew I shouldn't have been thinking that so early in the game because of Peyton and everything. But I'd never felt happier. And in that moment I never wanted to hear him call anyone else his mother. Only me. And now…now my fears could be coming true. Sawyer's going to find out eventually, and everything I've tried to keep him from will eventually happen. Peyton left you and Sawyer when everything had really hit a rough patch. I remember how lost you were and I promised you I wouldn't let that happen again. I wanna keep my promise, Luke."

"I appreciate that, pretty girl." He leaned in to kiss her forehead. "But you don't need to worry about me. I'm just worried about you and Sawyer. And now _I'm _promising _you_ that I won't let anything happen. But, what do you want to do about Peyton?"

Brooke sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. She knew it would get complicated at some point or another. She had just never expected it to happen so soon.

"I don't want to keep everything a secret from him for his whole life. But he's just so young now. But I'm afraid if we wait any longer, somewhere along the road he'll find out. And not the way we planned for him to. Peyton made her choice though, Luke. And that's what makes this _so_ hard." It was a lose-lose situation. She could let her son know now and have him instantly fall in love with his other mother, or she could have him wait and find out at another inconvenient time where the consequences could be worse.

"Peyton left you and Sawyer. She made it clear she couldn't handle it and left. I mean, god, Lucas, she left her own son in the fucking hospital. She didn't even care to come the day of his surgery. All I can ask myself is _why _she would want to come back. Why does she want to be in his life _now_? She's his mother legally, so I guess I don't have a say in this, do I?" She asked deflated. "I…just…what kind of mother does this?"

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It was a bright and sunny morning; a morning that suited for a happy day. But as Brooke trudged out of bed, the day seemed anything but happy.

She figured she had cried herself to sleep because when she woke up in the middle of the night, her pillow had been wet from fresh tears.

She walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She was a mess. Physically and emotionally. But it really was no surprise. Since day one, she had been attached to Sawyer as if he were her own son. And over the years, that's just what he turned out to be like.

Sawyer wasn't her son biologically; a simple blood test could tell that. But just the pure innocence and pure love in his eyes when he looked up to Brooke to tell her a story or a joke… that was what showed he was her son in so many other ways.

She wiped her eyes, cleaned herself up, and straightened herself out, feeling slightly better, before going downstairs to the people who were family. Nobody was going to change that.

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"Good morning mama!" Sawyer greeted her loudly from his seat in the kitchen.

"Morning, baby." She replied, walking over to him and giving him a big hug. "Have a good night's sleep?"

He shook his head up and down.

"It's good somebody did." Lucas spoke from his seat. "You must be exhausted, babe." He hadn't had a good sleep either and was walking up throughout the whole night as Brooke tossed and turned in bed.

She waved it off, and took a seat. "I'm feeling better now." She told him with a slight smile. "I'm not gonna worry."

"Worry about what?" Sawyer asked.

"Hey, mind your own business, nosy boy." Lucas smirked at his son. "Let's eat, alright?"

"Yes, let's." Brooke agreed.

"Daddy made french toast, mama. His favorite." Sawyer smiled.

"Well it smells delicious. Thank you, Luke."

"My pleasure."

"Hey, mama?" Sawyer spoke as Lucas cut up his french toast into pieces. "What are we doing today? Yesterday you told me that I didn't wanna be falling asleep today…why?"

"You don't let a thing pass by you, do you Sawyer?"

"Nope."

"Well-" Brooke had begun, but Lucas cut her off in a soft whisper.

"-If you don't want to go after everything, it's fine."

"No." She shook her head. "I think it'll actually be good. Get my mind off of things. So, Sawyer, mommy has to go to New York City to do some work in her office over there, what do you say about you and daddy joining me?"

"New York City?" He asked curiously, his eyes full of interest. "With all the tall buildings? The place where you go away sometimes?"

"That's right." Lucas nodded.

Sawyer immediately jumped out of his chair and towards the staircase. "I'm going to pack!"

"What about your breakfast, buddy?" Brooke called after him.

"Not hungry!" He called back, causing Brooke and Lucas to shake their heads and laugh.

"Trust me, Luke." Brooke turned her attention back to her fiancé. "This trip will be good for me."

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They had boarded the plane a few hours after breakfast, and three hours after that, they were in New York. Sawyer, who had been ecstatic and had insisted the window seat on the plane, had fallen asleep half way through the flight and had stayed asleep through the trip to the hotel.

"We should let him sleep." Brooke spoke as she stared down at Sawyer who was fast asleep on the bed. "I've got to get to the office now anyway."

Lucas nodded in understanding and gave her a kiss.

"If he wakes up and you boys decide to do something give me a call, okay?"

"Yeah, of course."

Brooke smiled as a thank you, and turned away to leave the room.

"Hey, Brooke." He called for her to come back. She turned around curiously, and walked back to him. "I don't want you to worry this weekend, okay? Just relax and enjoy yourself. When she called, the other day…I told her we were going to be going out of town and we couldn't exactly meet up to talk to her or figure anything out yet. But everything's going to be fine." He caressed her cheek and spoke with reassurance. "Soon we'll be getting married, and by then everything will be sorted out. And you and Sawyer and I…we'll be the family you and I've always hoped for."

His words had melted her heart and she silently wished to herself that they would come true.

He was right though. While they were in New York, she should just enjoy herself. She should spend as much time with them as possible. Going back home would be the hard part.

But for now, it didn't matter. It didn't have to matter.

"I'll see you later." He kissed her lips once more before letting her go. "I love you, pretty girl."

"I love you, too."

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**A/N – Okay, so as I was writing this and thinking about it, and my heart was literally breaking for Brooke. :( **

**Anonymous Review Replies: **

bella – Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you're liking the story so far! I'm anxious to hear what you have to say about this chapter :)

sunshine – I'm glad you find it interesting. Yeah, I realize I have a lot of unfinished stories. It's like I start one and then I come up with another story that I feel I _have_ to do and it just becomes a cycle. I'm really liking the ideas I have for this story so hopefully I'll be able to finish it. Thanks for the review!

zoe – I'm glad you liked the first chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well :)

**I hope this chapter was good and that everyone enjoyed it. Please review with your thoughts on it!! Thanks!!! :)**

**--Melissa**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while! **

**Thanks: **BrookeLucasForever, arygon199, princetongirl, BDavisLScott23, LovelyLily07, becky89, dolcegrazia, Mosie1213, Othhillfan, dianehermans, BL-4ever21, tanya2byour21, Long Live BRUCAS, RealSelflessLove, Brucas10, brookenlucas4eva03, sunshine, **and **troypazash.

**Thanks so much for the reviews!! Hope you all enjoy this chapter! :)**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 3 –

"_Hey, P. Sawyer." Over the past week, the Tree Hill hospital had unfortunately become a home away from home for Brooke, and especially for Lucas and Peyton. She frowned at the scene before her, but continued talking, hoping to get some sort of response from her friend. "I saw Lucas downstairs." _

_Peyton nodded slightly. "Yeah, I told him he should go out for a few minutes, get some fresh air." Her voice sounded fragile and weak, and Brooke had only heard her voice a few times like that since their early childhood._

"_Why don't you go outside, too? I can stay here if you want."_

_Peyton didn't so much as shake her head, and instead buried her face in her hands._

"_Peyton…he's going to be okay." Brooke tried to reassure the best she could. _

_At Brooke's words, Peyton's head snapped up, her eyes darting pure anger. "Will you stop saying that? Please, I can't take it! Every single person that walks through that door tells me the same thing, yet every single day I wake up and there's absolutely no progress!" Peyton sighed, frustrated, as she ran her hands through her hair. "God, I didn't expect it to be this hard."_

"_What to be hard?" Brooke asked cautiously as she took a seat next to the blonde. "Talk to me, Peyt."_

"_All of this…being engaged, becoming a mother…I mean, look at my son, Brooke." Her voice sounded deflated and exhausted, nearly inaudible. "He's barely breathing on his own he's so weak. It's killing me and I've reached the point where I almost can't take it."_

"_What do you mean, Peyton?"_

_Peyton picked her eyes up from her son, onto Brooke. "I mean I'm not sure if I'm ready for all of this. It all happened so fast, and as that time flew by, I somehow lost myself. And this…this whole heart problem came so unexpected that I barely had time to catch up with everything."_

_Brooke searched Peyton's eyes for further explanation but all she saw was her own reflection in Peyton's seemingly dull green orbs. "Well, I think that's normal. All parents are hesitant at first after having a baby. You're just nervous, and it's natural. I'm sure Lucas is going through the same exact things as you are. And you guys should definitely talk."_

"_Brooke…"_

"_Hey, guys. Coffee?" Lucas unexpectedly entered the room, holding up a cardboard carrier that held three cups of coffee._

_Brooke quickly got up and excused herself. "Actually, I was just going to leave and let you two be. But I'll be back later to check in." She threw a glance at Peyton, silently urging her to talk to Lucas, before exiting. _

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Work didn't seem to occupy her thoughts. She hadn't gotten anything done, the whole purpose of the trip, and instead had just sat at her desk, practically asleep, void of all emotion.

She was living a nightmare. A nightmare she knew years ago would eventually become a reality.

The three of them had formed a family quickly. So quick, she hadn't realized how close they had all become until Lucas was asking her to move in with them. So quick, she hadn't really had the time to sit down and think rationally about what would happen if Peyton came back.

When Sawyer was a baby, it seemed as though she wasn't coming back. Lucas and Brooke had contacted her when they had received the good news that a heart had become available. They had contacted her when they had set the date of Sawyer's surgery. And they had contacted her before and after the operation was performed.

And she never seemed to care. She never seemed to care enough to come back home from wherever she had gone; and that's what killed Brooke the most.

Sawyer was the most amazing kid in the world, and that was something Peyton had left. She was the one who had _chosen_ to leave him behind. For her to come back after five years, all of the sudden wanting to be in the kid's life wasn't logical. It wasn't logical, it wasn't _right_ and it wasn't _fair_.

Brooke's eyes scanned over a photo of the three of them from a few months ago when Sawyer had started kindergarten. Moments like those, moments that only happened once in a lifetime, were the things Peyton left behind. She would never get to have those moments, and Brooke wasn't about to let her take them away from her either.

Peyton may have still thought of herself as Sawyer's mother. But even if she didn't want to accept it or let it actually be finalized, Sawyer wasn't hers. He was all Brooke's.

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"I'm bored." Sawyer whined, kicking his feel against the bed.

"Well I'm tired." Lucas sighed, as he rested his head against the headboard of the bed. "I wasn't just taking a long nap like somebody I know." He smiled as Sawyer shook his head.

"I wasn't taking a nap."

"Oh no?" Lucas smirked.

"Nope." Saywer shook his head confidently, throwing a pillow at his father. "Now get up, lazy!"

"Fine, fine." Lucas held up his hands in defense. "I'm up. I don't feel like getting attacked by pillows."

"I knew that'd get you up, daddy."

"I guess you were right. So, where would you like to go, Sawyer?"

"Hmm…I wanna go see mama!"

"Well, as much as I'd like to go see your mother, I'm not sure she'd appreciate it much considering she has to get some work done."

"Mama always wants to see me." Sawyer informed his father.

"Oh, because you're such a pleasant child, isn't that right?"

"Exactly." He smiled mischievously. "Now lets go!"

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Sawyer ran into the office bursting with energy. "Surprise!" He exclaimed, causing Brooke immediately to pick her head up from her desk.

"He wanted to come see you." Lucas, who followed his son closely behind, explained.

"Well I'm glad. I was just thinking about you boys."

"That's always good to hear."

Brooke sighed contently as she closed her sketch pad and placed the sketch pencil back in the desk. "What do you say we leave this place and find something fun to do?"

"You sure? I mean, you do have a lot of work to do."

"Of course I'm sure. How often do I get to come to New York City with you and Sawyer? There'll be plenty of work when I'm back here next month, trust me. What'd you say we go and explore, Saywer?"

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She pressed her head against the seat and closed her eyes. Takeoff was always the worst part of the flight.

The few days spent in New York together were great. They were able to enjoy themselves, and Brooke and Lucas weren't worrying as much as they would have back home about the Peyton scenario.

But as Brooke stomach lurched, she knew it wasn't just takeoff that was upsetting her. Their little escapade to New York was over. It was back to Tree Hill; back to reality; back to facing life-altering problems.

She looked over to Sawyer who sat in the window seat, his faced pressed to the window in amazement. He was a boy full of such energy and life, and Brooke knew he had gotten that bit from her.

Lucas, next to her, sensed she was worrying, and he grabbed her hand and squeezed it between his two sturdy ones. It was his way of reassuring her that she would be okay; _they _would be okay.

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"I guess…I'll call her in the morning."

Lucas took a seat on the bed as Brooke flipped through a draft of what would become next month's copy of B. Davis.

"You don't have to do that, Brooke. We've had an eventful past few days. You can relax for a few more and then give her a call."

"No." She shook her head. "It's better if we get it over with sooner. If I wait, I'll be waiting another thirteen years, and then Sawyer will be eighteen and off to college. I can't put it off any longer." She spoke sternly. After a second of silence, her features softened, and Lucas saw it looked like she was about to cry. "What if after Sawyer finds out, he'll hate me? He'll resent the fact that I've spent these years telling him I was his mother when in truth, I'm not."

"You _are _his mother, Brooke. He won't hate you. He might be confused at first. But later, if anything, he'll love you even more for taking on the responsibility. You did an amazing thing five years ago, Brooke Davis. You told me you wanted him to look up to you as his mother. And as far as I'm concerned, he does that every single morning when he wakes up to find you in the kitchen making his favorite breakfast. He does that every single night when you tuck him in his bed and make sure there are no monsters underneath it. I promise you, pretty girl, whatever Peyton tries to do, we'll all face it together as a family."

Brooke nodded at his sincerity before wiping her eyes and speaking once more. "I want to see her alone first."

"What? You don't want me to come?"

"Not tomorrow…if that's alright with you."

"Brooke…" He trailed off. He didn't expect that to come out of her mouth. "Are you sure? I mean…"

"I'm sure, Luke. It's just something I need to do."

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She had called her early in the morning when Lucas and Sawyer were still asleep. Peyton's voice sounded so strained and so different that Brooke barely recognized her over the phone. But when the woman on the other end had the nerve to ask to put Sawyer on the phone, Brooke knew it was Peyton.

She had claimed she just wanted to hear his voice, and Brooke came so close to hanging up on her. Instead, she decided to settle it rationally, because if she hadn't, things would just get worse.

Brooke got out of her parked car and crossed to the other side of the street. They had agreed to meet at a local coffee shop.

Brooke's eyes searched the small and quaint place from the window outside and her heart nearly dropped once she spotted the blonde. She looked the same as the last time they had seen each other. Her blonde hair was still curled, and her eyes still seemed as dull as ever.

Brooke pushed the door open, and within seconds the blonde's eyes fell on hers.

Brooke took a deep breath before making her way over to the table where Peyton sat.

"Brooke-"

"No, wait." Brooke immediately cut her off. "Since you called my house a few nights ago, my mind has been racing with all sorts of thoughts and questions and fears. But the one thing, the _main_ thing that somehow keeps resurfaces is _why. _Why, Peyton? Why now? When me and Lucas and that amazing little boy you left behind has finally reached a stable ground. We're a family now, Peyton. A loving, caring, and incredible family."

Her words flew out of her mouth so fast that when she was done she was nearly out of breath. Her eyes welled with tears and she tried her hardest to keep them from falling. She did not want Peyton to see her that upset. It would only make Peyton think she was winning. Brooke felt her throat begin to close up, allowing only one more word to escape from her lips. "_Why_?"

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"_Lucas, what's going on?" _

_She had received the call from him only a mere ten minutes ago. He seemed more broken than ever, and it was that reason alone she did the best she could to get to the hospital faster than ever before. _

_He looked up at her wearily, completely heartbroken. "Peyton's gone."_

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**A/N – Okay, I don't think this chapter was nearly as good as the previous two, but I really wanted to get something up for you guys. I hope it was okay. I'm going to try to update this at least once more and get an update of Fighting For What's Meant to Be up while I'm off from school this week, but I do have a lot of work…so all I can say is that I'll try my best. **

**Thanks:**

sunshine – Yeah, I know, 'wow' lol. Peyton's situation may seem a little extreme and possibly still a bit unclear, but I'll be delving further into that stuff from the past in the next chapter. Thanks for the review!

**Review!! Thanks!**

**--Melissa**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Oh my god! I know it's been forever since my last update, and I'm so, so, so sorry. School has been keeping me busy. I even had most of this chapter written for at least a good month and a half already, but I never found the time to finish it and read it over. I hope people are still interested in this story.**

**Thanks: **dolcegrazia, Shanyde, TeamSophia, Long Live BRUCAS, sunshine, TeamxxBrulianxx, BrookeLucasForever, princetongirl, tanya2byour21, BDavisLScott23 **and **Mosie1213.

**Hopefully some of you are still gonna read this! Please review!**

**Once again, I'm so SORRY!**

**Enjoy!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 4 –

"_What do you mean she's gone?" Brooke questioned, her eyes wide from shock. "Where'd she go?" _

"_I…I don't know." He shook his head hopelessly. "I went to find a doctor to talk to about the situation for the donor recipient list, and when I got back…" He trailed off, swiping at his face to leave no trail of tears. _

"_What, Luke? What happened when you got back?" She asked, desperately awaiting an answer._

_All Lucas did was reach into his pocket, pull something out, and reach out his hand for Brooke to see._

"_Whaa--?" Brooke couldn't believe what she saw and her heart instantly dropped from the site. Her best friends were falling apart._

_In his hand lay the engagement ring he proposed to Peyton with._

"_I don't know what to do." _

_She had seen the engaged couple's obvious struggle since the birth of their sick son, yet this, this situation, she would've never predicted. _

_Her eyes glanced over back towards Lucas, and he looked more broken then she'd ever seen him. He'd been trying to stay strong since his son was born, but now Brooke could see it was all an act for Peyton. Now that Peyton was gone, so was his façade. _

_And for the first time since the baby was born, Brooke didn't know what to say to make Lucas feel better. _

_Because she was just as confused and just as lost._

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"Why?" Her voice asked, begged, for any sort of response. But Peyton didn't seem to be offering anything, and instead sat, legs crossed, eyes drawn to the floor.

Brooke drew in a breath, narrowed her eyes, and tapped her foot impatiently.

"I don't know…" Peyton finally responded and shook her head, obviously ashamed by her actions.

Brooke's body stiffened at Peyton's words and her mouth tightly closed. "You _don't know_?" She asked incredulously.

"No…I didn't mean it like that." Peyton said quickly, as she shook her head swiftly. "I mean I _know_ but…" Her words trailed off with her weak explanation. "How is he, Brooke?"

"How is he? You're kidding, right?" She shook her head in disbelief. "He's sick, Peyton. Nothing's changed. Sure that first year was the toughest. We didn't get any sleep that whole time, just fearing that his body would reject the heart. And even though that's four years ago, he still needs to take his anti-rejection medication every single goddamn day for the rest of his life, and there's still a chance that his heart won't pull through. And we worry about that every single day. But he's a strong person, a quality he _definitely_ doesn't get from his birth mother."

The blonde sunk into her chair. "I guess I deserved that." She mumbled.

"Oh, there's a lot of things you _deserve_, Peyton." Brooke replied. "But let me tell you, _none _of them are Sawyer."

"I know that, okay? You don't have to rub it in or anything. I'm not here to take him away from you. I'm not." She said defensively.

"And I'm supposed to believe that? Peyton, you're the one who called me all those years ago and had the nerve to tell me, _me_." She stressed. "The one who's been raising your own son, that he'll never be mine. That he'll always be yours, no matter what. Do you know how much that hurt?"

"I know, and that was a mistake but-"

"A _mistake_? You had the nerve to first call us a few weeks after Sawyer was out of the hospital, which was _months_ after his surgery, and you told me he wasn't mine. But it's funny." She laughed sardonically. "Because I remember you leaving him when he was, what? Maybe only a week old? I was at least expecting concern from you, maybe asking how he was doing. Possibly even a simple "thank you". But never once did you even so much as drop a hint that you appreciate what I've been doing."

"I do appreciate you, Brooke. And I appreciate everything you've done for him. I really do, if that's what you've needed to hear."

Brooke rolled her eyes, and sighed dramatically. "Oh, god, Peyton. No, it's not what I _needed_ to hear. It would've just been a simple gratitude, but I never needed it. If I _needed_ it then I wouldn't have stuck around for this long. I would've pulled a "Peyton" and left."

"So why did you stay, Brooke?"

The question didn't take Brooke by surprise. She'd been asked the same exact question hundreds of times; mainly when Sawyer was a baby and she had first decided she was going to play a major role in his life. And each time she was asked, the same answer would come out of her mouth, with the same small smile playing on her lips.

"Because the moment I heard you left, I saw how lost Lucas was, and I looked over at Sawyer, through the incubator, and he just looked at me, with those same blue eyes that Lucas has, and all I could see was…_hope_. I saw he had this chance at life and I promised myself that if he made it through the long haul, which thank god, he miraculously did, I would make sure that he'd live the best life."

Peyton remained silent, letting Brooke's response sink in.

"And it doesn't matter that I'm not his _real _mother, Peyton. Because I know I've made much more of a difference in his life than you ever will. And thanks to you, I don't know if I'll ever be his "real" mother. But just because you're back, do _not_ think I'm just going to sit back and watch you take over my family. The family I've worked so hard to keep from falling apart." She spoke sternly, her voice direct and straight to the point. "Don't even think about it." With that, she stood up quickly, threw her bag over her shoulder and walked towards the door in front of the café. As she walked, Peyton's voice caught her off guard, and the question she asked got Brooke to stop abruptly.

"Does he know about me?"

Brooke stood silent for a minute, Peyton's eyes gazing on her own. The tension was suffocating.

And then, without another word, she turned on her heel and pushed the door open to leave.

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She ran frantically into the house, catching Lucas, who was sitting at his desk writing something, off guard.

"What is it? What'd she do to you?" He automatically jumped up from his seat and held her in his arms.

She didn't respond and instead pushed him away. "Where is he? I…I need to see him. I need to tell him I love him."

"Brooke." Lucas tried his best to calm her down, placing both of his hands strongly on her shoulders. "Calm down, babe. He's upstairs, he's still sleeping."

It was then Brooke realized that her conversation with Peyton wasn't as long as it seemed to be, and it was still early in the morning, a bit too early for her son to be up.

"Oh." She nodded with realization. "Right…" She absentmindedly walked past Lucas and up the stairs.

"Brooke!" He called after her. "What happened? What did she say?" He pleaded with her. Something was definitely off and he silently cursed himself because he knew he should've gone with her. But instead he let Brooke convince him that she needed to do it herself.

That was just who Brooke was. Always the independent one.

"She didn't say anything, Lucas." Brooke replied hastily, throwing her hand back in annoyance as he followed her up the stairs.

"Well where are you going?"

She stopped shortly and turned to face him. "I-I don't even know." She replied exasperated as she plopped herself down on the staircase and buried her face in her hands. "How am I going to tell him?" She mumbled in between sobs.

Lucas took a seat next to her on the stairs and wrapped an arm around her.

"How am I going to be able to explain that he has another mother? That I'm not his real mother?"

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"_Hello, my favorite boy in the whole wide world." Brooke happily entered the house and took Sawyer from Lucas's arms. "And how are you today?"_

"_Well I'm fine." Lucas replied with a smirk._

_Brooke glared at him and rolled her eyes. "I was talking to Sawyer." She held the baby closer to her body and smiled. _

"_Mama…" Sawyer babbled in her arms as he clung onto her._

_She loved this. Coming home from work and spending time with the two most important men in her life. _

"_How was he today, Luke?" _

"_A little fussy, with some new teeth growing in, but not too bad."_

"_Aw, my poor baby." Brooke mumbled as she brushed a kiss against his forehead. "He seems tired, Lucas. Did you put him down for his nap at the time I told you to?" _

"_Yes, Brooke." Lucas smiled with a sigh. She was so overprotective of Sawyer, and the way she looked after him, cared for him since the moment he was born, just made Lucas love her even more._

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"_So…" Brooke spoke as she took a seat next to Lucas after putting Sawyer to bed. "How's the writing coming along?"_

"_It's going good." He nodded. _

"_Good." She smiled. "I'm glad." She leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, letting her thoughts consume her. She found it amazing that the little boy in the next room over was why they were where they were at that moment. He had somehow brought them together, and allowed them to form an incredible family. And she'd never felt happier, and she just hoped Lucas was feeling the same way. _

"_Hey, Luke?" She mumbled, opening her eyes and repositioning herself to face him._

"_Yeah?"_

"_I've been thinking…" She spoke nervously, biting her lip every few seconds. "I've been living here for a few months now, and I treat Sawyer like he's my own…and, if it's okay with you…I want to look into adopting him." _

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**A/N- Just wanted to say again how sorry I am. Thankfully I'll only have 3 days of school this week and then I'm off for like a week and a half. So that'll give me time to hopefully make up the chapters that should've been posted during this time. **

**I'm also aware that I need to update "Fighting For What's Meant to Be", and I'll try to have that updated as well. **

**Please review!**

**Thanks:**

sunshine – Thanks so much for the review! I hope you're still reading this. And I'll try to have my other story updated soon. Thanks again! :)

**Thanks everyone!**

**--Melissa**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N – Yay! A quick update! Lol**

**Thanks: **tanya2byour21, Long Live BRUCAS, AHJNKCES, Jill Cohen, ok, TeamxxBrulianxx, BrucasEqlsluv, sunshine, Mosie1213 **and** BDavisLScott23.

**Reviews have been dropping in the past few chapters, but I guess I could blame that on my lack of updating. **

**Please enjoy and review!! :)**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 5 -

"_It's going to be okay, Lucas. I promise you." Brooke wrapped her arms around Lucas and squeezed him tightly. She heard him let out a cry and soon felt her shoulder become wet from tears._

"_I can't do this, Brooke. It was hard enough as it was before…but now that Peyton's gone…"_

"_Shh…Luke, I promise you. I'm going to be here for you. For you and the baby."_

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She sat in front of Sawyer, watching as his chest rose and fell rhythmically, his body consumed by his slumber. It was times like these, when feeling extremely maternal, where Brooke would just watch her son sleep. It was comforting, in a sense, and left her with a peaceful feeling.

Lucas stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching his fiancée's movements as she slowly smoothed Sawyer's light blonde hair and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Finding her amidst an emotional breakdown hit Lucas hard. And he now knew that everything would change. No longer was certainty reassured, instead confusion evoked. Everything was all up in the air.

Sawyer stirred from his sleep. He squinted a little and Lucas slowly and quietly turned away from the doorway, making his way down the hall towards his own bedroom.

"Mama?" the young boy questioned, his voice void of energy.

"Hey, baby boy. Did I wake you?"

Sawyer nodded slightly. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry, babe. How about this; I'll let you go back to sleep, and while you sleep some more, mama will make you some breakfast."

"Okay." He replied, sinking back into his pillows, allowing his eyes to flutter close.

"I love you, Sawyer." Brooke whispered, brushing a kiss again his cheek.

"Love you, too, mama." Sawyer mumbled.

Brooke stood back and waited five minutes until he was back asleep. She then backed towards the wall and slid down, bringing her hands to her face to catch the tears that fell from her eyes.

Sawyer was her life, and if Peyton were to take him away, she would die.

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She had gotten herself together, picked herself up from the floor and found Lucas in their bedroom. He sat on their bed and was just staring into space.

"Luke, what are you doing?" She questioned, slightly confused.

"Oh, I'm just thinking." He responded, snapping out of his apparent daze.

"About what?"

"I was actually going to ask _you_ the same thing, pretty girl." Lucas gazed at her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, his way of asking her to join him and sit.

"I'm fine, Lucas." Brooke sighed and shook her head. "_Really_." She took a seat next to him.

"That's why you came home this morning freaking out the way you did?"

"Look, I was just scared, okay? It's really nothing."

"Why don't we talk about it?"

"Lucas…not now." She stood up and walked towards the door.

She was not in the mood. Too much had happened already today, and the funny thing was she had only been up for four hours. Already she wanted to call it a day and go back to bed.

"_Not now_?" His voice sounded slightly angered. "When Brooke? See I knew it was a bad idea to let you go alone. I _knew_ this is how you would act!"

"How _I would act_? Lucas, I think I have a goddamn good reason to _act _this way! I think you would act the same way if you feared you were going to lose your son!"

"Oh, Brooke." He sighed, exasperated. "How many times are we going to go through this? You're _not_ going to lose him!"

"Whatever, I need to go make our son some breakfast!"

"Whatever is right!"

She turned her back towards the blonde, her hand resting on the doorknob. She turned around with one last thought.

"Why are we even yelling?"

"I don't know…why don't you tell me." He spoke back bitterly.

She just rolled her eyes and left, slamming the door on her way out of the room.

Lucas cursed under his breath once the door closed. Sawyer was probably up again, with the screaming and slamming of the door.

He truthfully didn't even know why they were yelling. He had reassured her several times that she had nothing to worry about. Sawyer was hers; there was no doubt about it. If only he would get her to realize that though. He glanced around the room until his eyes rested upon a crumpled paper.

His hand reached out for it. He unfolded it and took in the scribbled writing; it read Peyton's name, and a number he presumed belonged to her.

Lucas pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number, his fingers going quick and falling numb. He tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the other end to pick up.

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She stood by the oven, glumly, letting herself bask in sorrows. She realized she shouldn't have yelled at Lucas like that. They shouldn't have been fighting. It was over nothing. The problem was bigger than the two of them, and fighting wouldn't solve it.

She heard footsteps walk down the stairs, the steps a bit too heavy to be Sawyer's.

Brooke's thoughts were confirmed as Lucas popped his head into the kitchen, not daring to reach the brunette's eyes.

"Brooke, I'm gonna head out. I'll be back later."

"Okay." She muttered, nodding and drawing her eyes to the floor.

He mumbled a 'bye' and left.

It wasn't until she heard the front door close that she picked her eyes up off the floor. If it were any normal given day, she would've asked where he was going and would've given him a kiss goodbye. But things were left on an awkward note after the fight.

Fifteen minutes later, when breakfast was done, Brooke went upstairs to wake Saywer. She helped him brush his teeth, get dressed, and comb his hair, all with ignoring his demanding questions on where his daddy was.

They had sat silently at the kitchen table, Brooke too upset to even pretend to be happy, and Sawyer to scared to rile up his mother.

"Mama?" He began cautiously.

"What, Sawy?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Eat up, babe." She ruffled his hair and stood up to get the newspaper.

Sawyer knew she was lying.

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Lucas pulled in to the parking lot of a rundown motel and put his car into park. He was going to get to the bottom of it. He wasn't going to let Peyton Sawyer ruin his family. The same family that seemed nearly impossible not too long ago.

If things worked out perfectly, he'd talk to Peyton, set things straight, and go home and apologize to Brooke. He hated seeing her feeling so insecure. She had done everything for their family. It was her alone that allowed Lucas to be sane, so he wasn't about to go let her break down. He was going to protect her.

He pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened the car door, taking a deep breath before doing so. Once outside, he pulled out the piece of paper he had found in his room and looked at the motel room number he had copied down after calling her.

Walking towards the door, his mind raced with thoughts. The last time he had seen Peyton was right before she left. And she had looked miserable. He wondered if she was still as miserable, or if leaving Sawyer was really what she needed. Either way, it worked out well for Lucas, and he had realized that months after Peyton left and never came back. It was best for Lucas. He had gained Brooke back.

He came to the door and knocked on it, swaying back and forth on his feet, fearing the worst.

Peyton opened the door in a little less than a minute and offered him a small smile. "Lucas."

"Peyton." He nodded and walked into the room. It looked a complete mess.

"I saw Brooke this morning."

"I know. And she was a mess when she got home. What the hell did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything…we just talked."

"God, Peyton!" He slammed his fist against the coffee table. "What the hell are you doing back here? I mean, it's been five freakin' years!"

"I know…and I've been thinking…I made a mistake, Luke."

"Oh, _no_!" He shook his head forcefully. "You can't decide that now. You _can't_ decide that _now_. While you've been figuring this out, we've been building a family. An amazing one."

"I know that." She argued back. "I know. And I know that I left an amazing boy behind too. I just…I just wanna know how he is. What he's like, if he's like me…"

"No…he's not…he's not anything like you."

Peyton eyes drew away from Lucas. His words were harsh and they cut right threw her.

"You want to know what he's like? He's exactly like me and he's exactly like Brooke. He's always questioning things and always wants to read, but he's also this crazy boy who's always up for an adventure. He can see the good in people even when others can't, and he's just got this amazing energy that makes everyone fall at his feet." Lucas smiled at the description of his son. Sawyer was truly a miracle. "And he's a fighter. He's got a strong heart, despite what his disease may say."

"Why'd you name him Sawyer?" She questioned. It was a question that always stood in the back of her mind. Why would he give their son part of her?

"Brooke wanted to. She believed in you, Peyton. You let her down."

"I know." She spoke shamefully. "I let everyone down." She stepped closer to Lucas and placed her hands on his arms, making him feel very uncomfortable. "And I never meant to." Her eyes began to tear.

"Peyton…"

"Oh, Lucas…I'm so sorry." She wept and fell into his arms. "I just want to go back in time." She mumbled into his shirt.

"Peyton…" Lucas tried once more.

"I'm sorry." Peyton kept repeating.

"Peyton!" This time he was more forceful as he pulled her off. "You _can't_. You can't go back in time, you can't change anything. You can't, okay?"

"You're right." She replied, stepping back and wiping her tears. "I'm sorry, I…"

"I need to go…" He trailed off, walking towards the door. "This was a mistake. A _huge_ mistake."

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Brooke sat on a bar stool in the kitchen, contemplating on whether or not she should give Lucas a call. Sawyer was in the living room, playing Nintendo, and since he was within earshot, she decided against calling Lucas. Instead, she picked up the phone and dialed someone else.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end answered.

"Hey, Hales."

"Brooke, how are you?"

"Uhhh…okay. I actually have a question."

"Sure."

"Have you seen Lucas today?"

"No." Haley answered. "I can't say I have. Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine…It's just…are you busy now?"

"Not at all. You guys want to come over?"

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"Brooke why didn't you tell me?" Haley asked sadly, rubbing her pregnant stomach.

"I don't know…I didn't want to have you worried…you have other things going on."

"Are you kidding? Nathan won't let me do anything, he's practically forcing me on bed rest until this baby comes out. I thrive off any drama."

Brooke smiled slightly.

"How are you doing, though? I mean, have you gone to see Peyton?"

"This morning…and she said some things, I got home and basically ended up blowing up at Luke. It's totally my fault."

"Don't worry, Brooke. Everything will work out. Sawyer loves you to death."

Both the girls' eyes drifted towards the window that overlooked the backyard where Sawyer was playing basketball with Nathan.

"Well that's because he doesn't know about Peyton."

"You're not seriously considering telling him about her, are you?"

"What other choice do I have, Haley? She wants to get to know him. She's his mother. I can't fight that. Legally, she can control him."

"Well where's Lucas in all of this?"

"I don't know. We had the fight and then we wouldn't talk and he told me he was going out and that he'd be back later. I didn't ask, he didn't tell…we haven't fought like this since high school, Haley. And that doesn't even count."

"Trust me, Brooke. One little fight won't change anything. He's in love with you. Just because Peyton's back doesn't mean anything." Haley reassured her.

"I hope you're right. I should probably get going incase Lucas comes back home. Let me go get Sawyer from the back."

"Just call me to let me know what happens."

"Of course. Thanks, Haley. You're the best."

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"…And that's how I beat Uncle Nate." Sawyer rambled as they entered the house.

"That's cool. I'm so proud of you babe."

Sawyer smiled proudly as they walked through the corridor. Turning the corner into the living room, Lucas came into view, sitting on the couch.

"Daddy!" Sawyer ran for him. "Where were you? I haven't seen you all day."

"I know. I had some things to do. It's great to see you, buddy." He hugged him tightly. "Now how about you go up to your room for a few minutes to let me and your mom talk?"

"Alright." He shrugged, walking towards the staircase.

"Brooke, where were you guys?"

"I could ask you the very same thing."

"Brooke…"

"I went to Haley and Nate's. Happy? Your turn, where were you?"

"I went to see Peyton…"

"You know what? I knew I shouldn't have asked."

"What, so it's okay for you to go see her but when I do it's wrong?"

"No…it's just, you didn't even tell me. At least I had the decency to do so."

"I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to go so I didn't tell you. And we weren't even talking!"

"Fine." She crossed her arms over her chest. "And what happened?"

"Honestly?"

She nodded.

"She practically threw herself at me."

"Lucas!" She gasped.

"It's not like I did anything. I pushed her off, told her she couldn't change anything."

Brooke closed her eyes, and stomped her foot. "What the hell is she trying to do to us?"

Lucas walked up to his fiancée and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I'm not going to let her tear us apart. I won't."

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"_You want to adopt him?" He looked surprised._

_She nodded excitedly. "Yeah…I really do."_

"_Brooke…that's great!"_

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**A/N – Hope it was enjoyable. Let me know what you thought! **

**Thanks: **

ok – Thanks for the review! I hope this update was sooner. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!

sunshine – Omg, guess what? I updated this and my other story, both on the same day! Yay! I'm so proud of myself lol. Thanks for the review! I cannot stand Peyton either, that's why I write her being so miserable in my stories lol.

**Review please! :)**

**--Melissa**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N – **

**Thanks: **Team Sophia, Mosie1213, koumi11, lil-bit9054, RealSelflessLove, Long Live BRUCAS **and** BDavisLScott23.

**Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy chapter 6 and please review!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 6 –

"_Lucas." Brooke breathed in deeply, wrapping her arms around the blonde. "How is he?"_

"_They just took him in to be prepped for surgery…" Lucas shrugged aimlessly. "That's all I know…Brooke, I told you that you didn't have to come this early."_

_Brooke shook her head persistently. "Luke, I told you I was going to be here. You need support right now." She slightly smiled and grasped his hand, squeezing it in assurance. "And Nate and Hales will be here within the hour, too." She noted. "Now, how's that fiancée of yours?" Brooke asked, thinking nothing of it. Sure, Peyton had left. But she figured that maybe she just needed a cooling off period. Brooke was sure Peyton would be back on the day of hers and Lucas's son's surgery._

"_You mean ex-fiancée."_

"_What?" _

"_Look, I'm not worried about that right now. I just need to focus on my kid."_

"_He'll be okay, Lucas. You'll be okay."_

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"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier…" Lucas held onto her tightly, staring into her eyes. "I'm just so overwhelmed by this, which is pretty insensitive because I can only guess how you're feeling."

"No." Brooke shook her head. "It's my fault too. I should talk to you about it. _We_ should talk to each other about it. We never really talked about it actually…"

It was true. Brooke had adapted to the role of 'mommy' so quickly, it seemed almost too natural. Neither one thought talking about it was necessary.

"I never thought we'd _need_ to." Lucas replied.

"Neither did I, Luke." She pulled away from his grasp and took his hands in hers. "We're gonna need to tell him soon, you know?" She said, even though it slightly pained her to say.

"I know." He nodded. "And I know sooner or later Peyton's going to ask to see him again."

Brooke crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at the floor, shaking her head up and down violently. "I know…" She whispered. "But _how_ are we going to tell him? I'm so afraid to lose him, Lucas. Every time I think about telling him, I feel him slipping through my fingers; I see him hating me; I _feel_ him hating me."

"Well don't think that way; don't _feel_ that way. 'Cause he won't. He adores you, pretty girl. And you'll realize that." Lucas wrapped an arm around her as she buried her face into his shirt, whimpering ever so softly.

"Go clean yourself up, okay?" He questioned softly. "I'll tell him he can come down here again."

She gulped and wiped her eyes, trying to pull herself together. As she turned around, ready to go down the hall, a thought hit her.

"Lucas…" Her raspy voice seemed raspier than ever. "_When_?" The voice seemed strangled and foreign to Lucas.

"When the time's right." Lucas replied. "We'll know when that is."

Brooke seemed satisfied with the answer and nodded a little, turning around once more.

"When the time is right." Lucas whispered to himself as Brooke vanished down the hallway. He looked up the staircase and sighed. "Hey, Sawyer, buddy. You hungry?"

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"Luke?" Brooke whispered into the darkness of the night. Her head lay rested on his chest, her eyes contently closed.

"Hmm?" He asked, tiredly.

"Do you ever think of us having a family?"

"We already have a family, babe." He replied, lazily dropping a kiss on her hair.

"No, I know. But I mean _us_. You and I having our own child together…"

"Of course." He whispered, smiling at the thought. "A little girl. And Sawyer would be the protective big brother."

"Yeah." She laughed a bit. "He'd be great."

"Mhmm." Lucas responded. "A little girl; one just like you."

She nodded and closed her eyes again, her sleep becoming all too powerful.

"That'd be nice." Brooke managed to mumble out, seconds before dozing off.

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"Sawyer, come here and help mommy." Brooke offered her young son, who currently sat inches away from the tv. "Too much tv will turn your brain into mush."

"No it won't." He giggled, standing up and following his mother's orders to help her out.

Brooke shook her head and smiled at him, replying jokingly. "I knew I should have sent you to camp this summer."

It was times like these, their mother-son bonding, where her mind tended not to drift off to the horrible disaster that was currently taking place in her life. Of course, then, when it did hit her suddenly, out of the blue, it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"But then you wouldn't be able to hang out with me, mama. The most awesomest kid on the planet."

"Awesomest isn't a word, Sawy."

"Yes it is!"

"Oh, well then maybe you should send your word in to have it published in the dictionary."

"Maybe I will." He quipped back.

"Get over here, you." Brooke sighed with a smile. "What am I gonna do with you?" She picked him up in her arms and began to tickle him, smiling as he erupted in giggles. "Now come on." She placed him down on the floor, sitting down and then plopping him onto her lap. "Help me choose some stuff for the wedding."

Sawyer yawned, obviously bored by the topic.

Lucas came down from upstairs and smiled, looking over Brooke's shoulder as to what she was doing. "I see we're getting a move on with the wedding preparations." He smiled. "And as much as I'd like to take part right now, I'm meeting Nathan at the rivercourt. But I promise when I get home, I'm all yours, pretty girl."

"Oh!" Sawyer's face lit up at the mention of his Uncle Nathan and the rivercourt. "I wanna come. Can I daddy?" He pleaded.

"Sawyer, I thought you were going to help me." Brooke cut in.

"Yeah." Lucas agreed with his fiancée. "Stay with mommy. I'll take you some other time." He bent down to give his son a hug. "Behave."

Saywer smiled. "I always do."

Lucas laughed as he wrapped his arms around Brooke. "You behave too." He warned her, placing a kiss on her lips. "I'll see you two later." He waved as he walked out the door.

"So what do you think, buddy. That one or this one?" Brooke redirected her attention to her son, delicately pointing to samples of tablecloths, hoping to receive some sort of enthused response from Sawyer.

"Uhhh. Both look nice." Sawyer shrugged.

"Gee, thanks, bud." Brooke laughed, ruffling Sawyer's hair. "That really narrowed down the choices."

"Mamaaa…" He whined. "I want to go back and watch tv."

Brooke closed the books she'd been looking through. "Fine." She agreed. "Go ahead, Sawy."

"Thank you!" He cheered and ran towards the couch, jumping on the cushions and reaching out for the remote to change the channel.

"Yeah, yeah…" Brooke waved him off.

The doorbell rang, catching both Brooke and Sawyer off guard.

Sawyer's head shot up from the direction of the tv to the door. "Who is it?" He asked, suddenly not so engaged with the tv.

"Oh, I don't know." Brooke stood up, she too curious. "But mind your own busy, nosy. You're watching tv, remember?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

Brooke walked up to the door, and looked through the window next to it before opening.

"Oh no." She muttered under her breath, hoping Sawyer wouldn't get even nosier than he already was.

She knew if she didn't open up, the problem would only get worse. She glanced back towards Sawyer and could've sworn that she saw him look at her in curiosity but turn away towards the tv once her eyes landed on his.

She quickly opened the door only a minimal amount and slipped through it, only leaving a little crack open between the door and the doorframe.

"What are you doing here, Peyton?" She asked in a harsh whisper.

"I—I hope you don't mind…"

"Actually, I do! What the hell do you think you're doing? I didn't agree to this, and I sure as hell doubt Lucas did. How did you even get this address?!"

"From an old letter you sent years ago." Peyton explained. It had been a pretty lengthy letter, sent not too long after Sawyer's surgery as a newborn. The letter was also accompanied by a picture of Sawyer taken his first day home from the hospital. It was when both, Brooke and Lucas, were holding onto any kind of hope that Peyton may come back.

"Peyton, you cannot do this. You cannot show up on our doorstep whenever you damn well please. Sawyer is home right now."

"He is?" She sounded desperate.

"Peyton…"

"Can I—can I see him?"

"Are you seriously asking me that question? You have got some nerve; let me tell you…Do you know how much misery you're putting me and Lucas through right now?"

"I just…want to see my son."

Brooke began to open her mouth but was cut off by a small, slightly scared voice.

"Mama?"

Brooke's heart sank as she turned around to find her son peeping through the small crevice the opened door offered.

"Wh-what are you doing, buddy." Brooke's voice cracked. She felt like she was about to faint. "I thought you were watching tv, babe."

Peyton looked completely transfixed as she stared at her son she hadn't seen since the last picture they'd sent. And that was when he was only a few months old.

"Sawyer…" The blonde mumbled.

"Sawyer, go inside." Brooke ordered. "Now!"

Sawyer, looking confused and lost, and slightly upset that Brooke had yelled at him, ran from the front door, and when Brooke looked back, she could see that he ran up the staircase. Seconds later, the slamming of his bedroom door could be heard.

"You see what you did?!"

"Brooke…I-"

"-Go to hell!" She screamed at her, shutting the door on her face.

Brooke let out a huge breath when realization hit. "Oh, no…Sawyer." She felt her throat begin to close up and her eyes begin to water. She quickly pulled out her cell phone and dialed Lucas.

"Hey, babe." He answered, not even suspecting anything was wrong. After all, he'd only left the house fifteen minutes ago.

"I need you to come home, Luke."

"What's wrong, Brooke?"

"Just come home _now_."

Hearing the urgency in her voice, Lucas headed straight towards his car. "I'm getting in the car now."

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_Brooke and Lucas sat before a lawyer. This was a big step for their family, and they wanted to make sure they went about it the right way. _

"_And how would we go about doing this?" Brooke inquired. "Make me his legal mother; legal guardian."_

"_Well." The lawyer began. "Given your situation, while in other cases it may be impossible, it'll look much better in court if you receive the birth mother's consent. From what you've told me, it is possible to retrieve this, and this will definitely make your chances higher."_

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**A/N – Sorry to leave a bit of a cliffhanger in the present scenario (and I guess maybe in the flashback part too). Let me know what you thought of the chapter.**

**Please review!! :) Thanks!**

**--Melissa **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – Oh my god, I'm sooooooo sorry I haven't updated in forever---school has really been keeping me busy, leaving me with no time to write at all. I hope people are still reading this.**

**Thanks: **AHJNKCES, tanya2byour21, koumi11, TeamxxBrulianxx, Jill Cohen, Long Live BRUCAS, sunshine, BrucasEqlsluv, RealSelflessLove, BDavisLScott23, one tree hill lovin actress, Mosie1213 **and **Idoloveyou. **Thanks so much for the reviews!**

**Enjoy and review!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 7 –

"_How long has it been?" Lucas sighed, glancing down at his watch for what was presumably the hundredth time. _

"_You heard the doctors, Luke. It takes a few hours." _

"_It seems like we've been here for days." _

_Nathan glanced down at the empty coffee cups that littered the table in the middle of the waiting room. "I'll go get us some more coffee." He offered. _

"_I'll come too." Haley responded, grabbing Nathan's hand._

_Once it was just Lucas and Brooke, he turned towards the brunette and offered a small, simple smile. "Brooke, you've been here since seven in the morning. If you want, you can take a break. Grab something to eat, take a walk- just something to get out of this hospital. One of us should be able to do that anyway."_

"_Luke, I told you. I want to be here for you and for your son. I'm not going anywhere." She told him forcefully. "You're stuck with me." She smiled and her dimples appeared. It made Lucas feel slightly better. _

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He'd sped down the streets, by far exceeding the speed limit, and had even run a few red lights. It was amazing that he made it home in one piece.

When he came through the front door, nearly out of breath, he found Brooke sitting on the staircase, just hoping their son would come out of his room. He noted that it looked like she had been crying.

"Brooke…What's wrong? What happened?"

Brooke didn't even know where to begin. "Peyton…and Sawyer…she came and Sawyer heard…and-"

"Peyton came _here_?"

"Yes." She cried. "And Sawyer, he was supposed to be watching tv but he came to see who was at the door…and Peyton saw him and…" She couldn't bear to continue.

"Did he hear anything?" His voice sounded strained and Brooke couldn't seem to answer. "Brooke!" He placed his hands firmly on her shoulders. "Did Sawyer hear anything?"

The tears poured as Brooke nodded hesitantly. "He may have."

"Oh, Brooke." Lucas instantly wrapped his arms around her body, letting her face fall to his chest, quiet sobs escaping her mouth.

"He wasn't supposed to find out like this. He _just wasn't_."

"I know." Lucas hugged her tighter. "I should've been here. I should've known this would happen."

The two stayed in each other's embrace for a few moment longer when Lucas pulled away, leaving a kiss on Brooke's forehead.

"We need to talk to him, babe."

"He doesn't want to hear from me. I yelled at him. I've been _lying_ to him for the past five years."

"Brooke, you have to understand. He's a young kid, he's probably confused as hell right now and doesn't even know what's happening."

Brooke nodded; she understood that. She understood that he had no idea what consequences lie ahead when he was nosy and had ventured towards the door. And she also understood that he had no idea who Peyton was and why she had yelled at him when Peyton tried talking to him.

"Maybe you could talk to him first." Brooke suggested.

"Only if you come with me."

She nodded slowly. "Of course."

Lucas slowly slipped his hand into Brooke's. "We'll do this together."

As they walked up the staircase towards Sawyer's room, Brooke remembered how when Sawyer was younger, she imagined ways of telling him about his birth mother. It was something she didn't like to think about, but sometimes her mind couldn't help but drift to the possibilities. None of those times, however, was Sawyer finding out on his own, without Brooke telling him.

"Sawyer, bud, can we come in?" Lucas knocked softly on the wooden door.

"I wanna be alone." Sawyer whined.

"Daddy really needs to talk to you, Sawy." Lucas persisted.

Next came overwhelming silence, but Lucas was glad when a small "okay" escaped from his son's lips.

"Hey, Sawyer." Brooke spoke easily, hoping the damage wasn't too bad.

"You yelled at me, mama." The small blonde, who sat on his bed, didn't make eye contact with either of his parents.

"I know, baby, and I'm sorry about that but-"

"-Who was that lady? With the blonde hair? Who was she?"

"Sawyer-" Lucas attempted, but Brooke promptly stopped him. She needed to explain this.

"-Lucas…"

"Why did she wanna see me? Who is she?" He still wasn't looking at his mother.

Brooke didn't know how to answer. She slowly walked towards the bed where Sawyer sat and got up right next to him. "Can you look at me, babe? So I can see your handsome face?" She urged him. She hated when he was mad at her. "Hm? What do you say? Can you look at mommy?" Once the word 'mommy' left her lips, she immediately remembered how this situation started in the first place.

"You yelled at me."

"Oh, sweetie. You have to understand that I only did that to protect you. From that _lady_."

"Who is she?" Sawyer asked once more, this time slowly turning to face his mother. Brooke sighed once she saw him. He looked just like Peyton in so many ways.

"Her name is Peyton…Peyton _Sawyer_."

"Sawyer's my name." He noted rather quickly.

"It is." Brooke replied quietly. Lucas came up to her and grabbed her hand for support. "I know that you're too young to understand this, baby."

"How did she know me?"

Brooke closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to think of something to say. Something that would make sense to their precious five-year-old. "She knew you when you were a baby, Sawy."

"How come I don't remember her?"

"Well, you were real little, buddy." Lucas cut in. "Me and your mom hardly remember her."

Brooke looked up at Lucas as he spoke. If only those words were true. If only they hadn't remembered her. Oh, how much heartache and drama that would spare.

"Look, Sawyer." Brooke began once more, stroking his head full of blonde hair. "Remember what I told you a while ago. About where babies come from? What I told you last week…?"

"_So." Brooke spoke after tucking Sawyer in. "Are you excited to become a big cousin to Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan's baby?"_

"_Uh huh." He shook his head up and down._

"_Good, I'm glad."_

"_Hey, mama?"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_Where do babies come from?"_

"_You know, that's an awfully big question for such a little boy."_

"_I'm not a little boy, mama. I'm five." He held up five fingers to prove his point._

"_Oh, I see. Well, sorry."_

"_So…where do they come from?" He urged her for an answer._

"_Well, Sawyer, they come from a mommy's tummy."_

"_A mommy's tummy?" He repeated. "So…right there…?" He sat up and reached for Brooke's stomach, pressing into it._

_She took his hand and nodded. "Yeah…right there."_

Sawyer pondered the thought for a second before nodding. "Yeah…The night we went to see Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan." He replied slowly.

"That's right…well…" Brooke struggled to go on. "The love, though, the love a mommy and a baby share, like you and me, that doesn't come from a mommy's tummy. You know where it comes from?"

Sawyer shrugged. "Where?"

"Right here." She placed a hand on her chest, right where her heart beat. And then her other hand fell on Sawyer's. "In our hearts."

Lucas smiled softly. He knew where she was going with all of this.

"But who is _Peyton_, mama?" Brooke frowned at the question.

"What I'm trying to say, buddy, is that while a baby may come from someone's tummy, that love may be from another person. From that other person's heart. But it doesn't make them any less of a mommy. Do you understand?"

"No." Sawyer replied quietly. "_Who's_ Peyton?" He kept insisting.

"Okay." Brooke got up. She knew this would be hard.

"Brooke." Lucas tried to calm her down. "I can take over-"

"No." She shook her head. "I _need_ to do this…" She sat back down and wrapped her arms around Sawyer's small body. "You know I love you so, so much. You do, right?"

He nodded.

"Well, with Peyton, you see…" Her voice broke mid sentence but as she looked up to Lucas, he nodded confidently, giving her the support she needed to move forward. "You…um, you didn't come from my tummy, Sawy."

"What? But you're my mama."

"Right. I am, bud. But remember what I told you, right? That special bond a mommy and her child share doesn't come from the mommy's tummy. It comes from the heart, right?"

"So _whose_ tummy did I come from?"

"Brooke, we can save this for another day."

But Brooke shook her head. "Peyton's." She finally revealed.

Sawyer looked between his parents. "But, I don't know Peyton." He spoke, confused.

"That's because mama told you she left. Remember we said that?" Lucas informed him. "When you were real little, she left... And that's how you got mommy."

"But if I came from Peyton, then isn't _she_ my real mama?"

"Well…" Lucas sighed. "Technically-"

"Lucas!" Brooke shouted, astonished at what he was telling Sawyer.

"What?" He was taken aback. "Are we trying to be honest with the kid, or what?"

Brooke just shook her head, wiping at her tears.

"Why did she leave me? Does she love me?"

Brooke couldn't bear to stay around and here anymore. "I need to go." She mumbled, quickly excusing herself.

Lucas looked back at the door that just slammed closed and at his son who looked as confused as ever.

"Daddy?"

"I'll be right back, Sawyer."

He found her pacing their bedroom, wrapping her arms around her body to protect herself from the cold air in the room.

"Brooke…"

"I _hate_ her. I hate her so goddamn much!" She spat angrily. "It's because of her Sawyer's gonna have to live this damn confused, messed up live. Because she decided those five years ago that she couldn't handle him. And _I_ get stuck with the blame!"

"No one's blaming you, Brooke."

"Sawyer just found out that he "didn't come from my tummy." Translation- I'm _not_ his mother! How the hell would you feel, Luke, if you were five freakin' years old and that bomb just got dropped on you – out of fuckin' nowhere!"

"Look, calm down. He can hear us. He's right across the hall."

All of her anger that bubbled within her had finally reached its peak. And it broke her. It broke her into a million pieces. She broke down into a full round of sobs and crashed onto the floor, bringing her knees up to her chest. "I _hate_ her just as much as I _love _him."

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"_Peyton…I've been trying to reach you."_

"_Oh, sorry about that. I've been out…searching for jobs, you know, all that good stuff."_

"_So, I take it L.A.'s been tough?" Brooke inquired over the phone._

"_No, it's actually pretty amazing." _

_Brooke nodded even though she was having a phone conversation. It killed her that Peyton showed no remorse over leaving her sick son._

"_Sawyer's doing pretty well." She dropped. "The doctor says his progression is going fantastic."_

"_Oh, that's good." Peyton's voice went low. "That's, um, what I was going to ask you about next."_

_Brooke knew that was a lie. _

"_Listen, Peyton. I need to ask you something, and this is coming from me and Luke."_

"_What is it?"_

"_Well…you know, for the past few months I've been living with Lucas and Sawyer to help them out—and we've all become really close."_

"_That's great, Brooke."_

"_Yeah, well listen. We've been looking into adoption. So Sawyer can be mine, legally."_

"…_Oh…um…"_

"_My attorney says that it would look better on the records and in court if we have you, ya know, sort of resign your rights."_

"_You mean give my rights to you?"_

"_Well…yeah, I guess…So what do you say?" Brooke crossed her fingers, hoping Peyton would realize this was the best possible option."_

"_Brooke, is it okay if I get back to you on that?"_

_Brooke's heart fell and her fingers uncrossed. She had told herself not to get her hopes up, and Lucas had told her the same. Yet, the disappointment still stung. "Um, yeah, sure, of course."_

"_Okay." Peyton's voice was blunt. "Okay, great. I'll get back to you. Tell Lucas I said hi."_

"_Sure thing." Brooke said a quick goodbye and hung up the phone, looking over to the cradle beside her where the small infant lay._

"_Not yet, buddy. Not yet…but soon."_

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**A/N – I really struggled with writing this chapter – but I hope that didn't show too much.**

**Thanks:**

sunshine – Sorry this update took forever! Hope you enjoyed it though!

**Well, please review and tell me what you thought! Thanks guys :)**

**--Melissa **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – Here's chapter 8!**

**Thanks: **dolcegrazia, mickeiblue, AHJNKCES, idoloveyou, Princesakarlita411, koumi11, BrucasEqlsluv, BrucasLove123, tanya2byour21, Jill Cohen, RealSelflessLove, Long Live BRUCAS, mrs-mcdreamy1, Mel-oth lovin actress, BDavisLScott23, TeamxxBrulianxx, Anissa, psiek, sunshine, Mosie1213, **and** juicetroop82.

**I was really happy with the response from last chapter; hopefully this chapter will have the same.**

**Enjoy!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 8 –

_Lucas sat nervously while he tapped his feet against the tiled floor. "Okay." He spoke suddenly, standing up and stuffing his hands in his pocket. "Is it me or did they say they'd be out in five minutes?"_

"_Yeah, man." Nathan confirmed. "And it's only been one. Calm down, okay? He's gonna be fine. Trust us."_

_Lucas nodded hesitantly, slowly agreeing to the assumptions his friends had been making. "You're right. I need to relax." He slowly plopped down into his seat in the waiting room. He stared around and noticed that there were quite a few families sitting around waiting for news as well. He was not the only one. He was not the only one who had been going through hell for the past few hours. They all were too._

_Moments later, the doctor and a surgeon came forward into the room. _

"_Please tell me he's alright." Lucas pleaded. _

_The doctor stared blankly for a few seconds before slowly nodding with a small smile. "The transplant was a success. Right now we're going to wheel him into the neonatal recovery unit and then you'll be free to go see him—but do limit the amount of people at a time."_

_As the doctor spoke a bit longer, Lucas seemed to tune him out. His main thoughts were soon consumed by a blonde who used to be his fiancée. It all came back to Peyton. She was supposed to be standing right next to him, thanking god that their son was one hell of a strong baby. Yet, she wasn't there. He didn't even know where she was actually. _

_Before he knew it, the doctors had walked away and he was left in a daze._

"_Luke?" Haley spoke. "He's okay!"_

"_Yeah…yeah…" It was still so surreal. He turned to Nathan and Haley. "Can you guys go call Peyton, please? Tell her our son's going to be alright."_

_They happily obliged._

"_I would've done that, Luke." Brooke stepped up next to him._

"_Well, I was kind of hoping you'd come with me to see my son."_

_She felt honored by his sentiment, but at the same time, it was bittersweet because she knew that somebody else should have been doing that very same thing with him. _

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"Brooke, cheer up. You called me in hysterics and I decided this would be good for you. A nice, peaceful girls' day out. You're making _me_ depressed."

"I'm sorry, Hales…I just…I don't know what to do." Brooke shrugged as the two ate lunch in almost complete silence. "I haven't spoken to my son since yesterday. And I've been trying to avoid Lucas. I'm a _mess_."

"You have a right to be a mess. Have you spoken to Peyton since she came over unannounced?"

Brooke shuddered at the name. "Please don't say her name – and no. I haven't. None of us have. But knowing her, I wouldn't be surprised if she showed up again today."

"Can't we do something about this?"

"She _is_ his mother. She technically has a right to see Sawyer. Regardless of how I feel."

Haley shook her head sadly. "You're more of a mother than you credit yourself for, Brooke Davis."

"More of a mother than Peyton?" She scoffed. "I _cannot _believe her. What is she trying to do to me? This is her way of saying thank you? Haley, what the hell will happen if Sawyer decides he wants to get to know her? I wouldn't blame him. He's a curious little five-year-old, what should I expect?"

"Look, any time you need me, you know Nathan and I would be happy to watch Sawyer. If your or Lucas ever feel like you need a break—okay?"

Brooke smiled a little. "Thanks, Haley. You're the best."

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"How's Brooke?" Nathan asked as he and Lucas watched Sawyer attempt to shoot a ball into the hoop at the river court.

"Not good, Nate. Not good at all."

"And Sawyer?"

"I think he's confused more than anything." Lucas watched his son clumsily throw the basketball up into the hair. Lucas laughed at the site. The ball was nearly as big as his small frame. "To put it plainly- it _sucks_."

"Why would she do this to you guys? She made that decision all those years ago to leave him, to leave you, didn't she?"

"She says she wants to meet him. She wants to get to know him."

Nathan nodded, allowing the information to sink in. "Are you going to let her?"

"I think that's up to Brooke, isn't it?"

"You too, man."

Lucas sighed and closed his eyes, if only to let him feel relaxed for a single moment. "I haven't even thought about it."

"Daddy, Uncle Nate, come watch me!" Sawyer redirected the two men's attention.

Lucas rubbed his forehead and opened his eyes. Now was no time to relax. "We're coming, buddy."

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"How was your day with Hales?" It was late at night, Sawyer was already tucked in, and Brooke was no longer able to dodge Lucas.

"Okay." She replied quickly. "Yours with the boys?"

"It was nice. But I was worried about you the whole time, pretty girl."

"No need to worry, Luke. I'm a big girl, I'm fine." She shook it off. She didn't want to start this again. Because then it would seem almost inevitable that they'd start fighting. And that would lead to yelling, and Sawyer was just put to bed.

"Really? 'Cause I don't think I've been fine with all this. You haven't spoken to Sawyer since yesterday."

Why did he have to bring that up? That would just make her feel even guiltier.

"Thanks for reminding me, Luke." Brooke replied back sarcastically.

"All I'm saying is that he misses you. Okay? I mean how do you think it makes him feel that his mother won't even talk to him?"

"After yesterday, I think we all just need some time to cool off."

'"He's five years old, Brooke! He just found out that he has another mother, I'm sure his mind is racing with thoughts."

"Well so is mine, Lucas! I don't mean to act this way. I don't. But I feel like if I keep talking, it'll make matters even worse. What if he wants to get to know Peyton? Do you know how bad that could turn out for me?"

"It's not only about you, though, Brooke! It's also about me and most importantly it's about _him_! It's about Sawyer, Brooke."

"So what are you trying to say?" She stopped what she was doing and ran her fingers through her tousled hair. "Are you saying you want him to get to know her?" Her voice was sharp, sending shivers down Lucas's spine.

"Well…maybe that would…maybe that would solve things. It'd only be for a little while and then she'll leave again. You know her, Brooke."

Brooke laughed incredulously. "Are you _serious_, Lucas? Do you hear yourself?" She seemed astounded.

"You're not the only one to make decisions in this. You know I was talking to Nathan, not that he put this in my mind, but I had never really thought about it before, and this is about _all_ of us. And I feel that Peyton might finally see how much you're fit to be his mother, more than she is, if she got to spend time with him."

Brooke just shook her head. She didn't know what to do. Why was he saying all of this? Where did this come from?

"Lucas, think about what you're saying. You're talking about the woman who threw herself at you a few days ago! The women who _left_ our son when he was _sick_! What are you saying?"

"Sawyer deserves to be able to choose what he wants."

"He's five years old, he doesn't know what he wants."

"I know he doesn't want us fighting about this for the rest of our lives while she's still hanging around."

"I--" Brooke began, but she found herself stopping abruptly. Her face then turned from angry to confused. "I don't even know what to say to you…"

"Brooke…" He stepped closer to her, slowly, hoping she wouldn't snap.

"No…" She pulled away. "Don't. I'm going to go…"

"Where are you going? It's late already."

"I know, but…I just _can't_ be here. Not now anyway." She slowly walked towards the door.

"Brooke, I didn't mean to get you upset like this-"

"Luke, just do what you want. You're his parent. I must be some free babysitter who's been wasting my life for five years."

"I _never_ said that. Please don't put words in my mouth."

Brooke ignored his previous statement and just shook her head with her hand resting on the doorknob. "I hope you know what you're doing."

She quickly left the room and ran down the stairs, heading towards the front door before Lucas could reach her. When she reached her car, she sat down and rested her head against the wheel. What was happening?

She touched her ring finger and felt the expensive engagement ring that she wore. Without another thought, she pulled it off and placed it on the dashboard.

Their happily ever after would have to wait.

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"_Brooke, I'm home!" Lucas called out as he stepped into the house from a long day's work. _

_With no response, Lucas assumed that she had taken Sawyer out, maybe to the park. However, when he got to the kitchen, where he presumed a note would be, there was nothing._

_He decided to check upstairs, thinking maybe Brooke was putting Sawyer down for a nap in his crib, but when he checked in the nursery, they weren't there either._

_Suddenly, though, he heard noise that sounded like a tv coming from their bedroom. He opened the door and could see the light of the illuminated television screen cast shadows on the wall._

"_Brooke, I was getting worr-" He was cut midsentence when he saw Brooke and Sawyer resting peacefully on the rocking chair Brooke must have moved in there from the nursery. He smiled at how adorable they looked and went to grab a camera to take a quick picture of them._

_Brooke amazed him more and more each day. She was loving Sawyer like her own. And Lucas recognized that what she was doing was incredible._

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**A/N – Good? Bad? Let me know please!**

**Also, just wanna say sorry I didn't get to reply back to every review. But I appreciate each and every one of them! I'll reply to every review for this chapter, I promise. I was just busy with last minute school stuff, which thankfully ended yesterday.**

**Okay, I'm gonna stop before this gets too long.**

**Please leave a review, thankssss! **

**--Melissa :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N – Wow, an update and it hasn't even been a full week! That's gotta be a record for me! Lol. **

**Thanks: **TeamxxBrulianxx, pink5288, Princesakarlita411, moonkisss, tanya2byour21, babyd21, idoloveyou, koumi11, Long Live BRUCAS, Mosie1213, NYGIRL09, RealSelflessLove, Kimberlli, Mel, **and** kbrucas22.

**Thanks so much and enjoy this chapter!!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 9 –

"_He's perfect, Luke." Brooke admired the small infant._

_Lucas managed to nod his head as he wiped away at his tears. "It's just...I can't believe he pulled through. It's amazing…and I wish Peyton was here."_

"_Yeah." Brooke sympathetically sighed, wrapping an arm around his body. "Her loss, right?"_

_Lucas seemed to take in the brunette's words. Brooke was right. It was Peyton's loss. She was missing out, not him. _

"_Thank you, Brooke, for being here; for helping me along the road. I don't think I'd be able to hold it together without you. You saved me."_

_Her cheeks blushed as he smiled at her. "Nah, I think it was this little boy that gave you enough strength." Her eyes glanced at Lucas's son. "Speaking of which, he does need a name, you know."_

"_He does…And I always thought it'd be Peyton and I choosing one. Everything's just so messed up." Lucas's head dropped to the floor in shame and embarrassment. _

"_He looks like a Sawyer." Brooke spoke up. "I mean…it only is appropriate…right?"_

_Lucas seemed to ponder the thought as he watched the small infant in its incubator. "Hmm…Sawyer...Sawyer Keith Scott." A small smile managed to find its way on his lips. "I like it."_

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"Where's mama?" Sawyer asked somberly, attempting to eat what his father called breakfast.

"What? Are my pancakes not as good as your mom's?" Lucas attempted a joke as he took a seat next to his son.

Sawyer made a face before asking once more, "Where is she?"

"Your mom just had to take care of a few things. She'll be back." He assured, and it was his way of assuring himself as well. "Eventually." He whispered.

"Is she gone because of that lady? The lady that has my name?" Sawyer inquired.

And Lucas didn't know how to answer. To be honest and disappoint Brooke even more, or to lie and have to deal with the consequences at a later time.

"Look, about that, bud-"

"Mama doesn't like her that much, does she?"

"It's not that. It's just complicated, Sawyer."

"I know." He replied softly and Lucas could've sworn his heart broke at the face his young son made.

"Hey, bud, I have a question. About _Peyton_ – the lady with your name. Remember what we said about her?"

Sawyer nodded slowly.

"Well…here's the thing. She wants to meet you. Get to know you a bit. Would you like that?" As he spoke, Lucas could picture Brooke's face in the back of his mind, and she looked devastated.

"I guess…" Sawyer spoke slowly. "But…would she replace mama because she's really my mama?"

"Of course not, Sawy." Lucas responded almost immediately. "No one's ever going to replace the mama you have right now, you hear me?"

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"Good morning." Brooke mumbled, walking into the kitchen to be greeted with the smell of coffee.

"Morning." Nathan greeted, bringing a cup of coffee to his lips. "Want a cup?"

"Oh, no thanks." Brooke shook her head.

"How're you feeling? Better?"

She sighed hesitantly. "Uhh, I guess. My head's still spinning though. I just need time to cool off…Hey, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Did you by any chance talk to Lucas…about the whole situation…maybe plant an idea in his head about letting Sawyer see Peyton?"

A part of Brooke wanted Nathan to say yes; yes he did suggest it. Because that would mean Lucas didn't come up with the idea himself and that would make things slightly better.

"Oh Brooke- shit. I didn't mean to…I just said it was a decision between the both of you to make."

Brooke's face fell.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No." Brooke cut him off. "You didn't. It's not your fault."

"I feel pretty guilty." He admitted. "I wasn't thinking…I just asked him about and then I said it was between the both of you to decide…Wait – why? Did he say he was going to let Peyton see him?"

Brooke closed her eyes, trying to erase the past night's memory. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Nathan knew to back off. "Okay, no problem."

"Thanks." She smiled graciously. "And I'm sorry for crashing here so late last night…this was the only place I could think of."

"Don't worry about it, Brooke. You know you're always welcome here. And besides, Haley's never able to fall asleep 'til much later, she needed some company. This pregnancy thing is exhausting her."

"I wouldn't know." Brooke shrugged. "I skipped that part." She attempted a joke.

"Consider yourself lucky…" Nathan smirked.

Brooke shook her head, thinking about the nightmare her life had become. "Oh, I wouldn't say so."

"Oh, Brooke, I didn't mean to bring that into this, I-"

"It's fine…So…are you scared? About being a father, I mean."

"Honestly…it scares the hell out of me."

"You'll do fine, Nate. Being a parent…it really gives you an amazing feeling. Scary, but amazing."

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"She lives _here_?" Sawyer peered through the window at the surroundings the car drove into. Lucas had pulled into a motel's parking lot.

"Well, temporarily." Lucas explained. "You ready?"

Sawyer nodded hesitantly, unaware of what would happen next. Lucas went around to the back of the car to get him out of his car seat and took his hand, leading him over to Peyton's room.

Within two knocks on the door, it opened with Peyton wearing a great smile.

"Lucas." She spoke with gratitude. "Thank you." Her eyes were drawn to Sawyer. "And you must be Sawyer…Sawyer Keith Scott." She took in every inch of her son.

"And you're the lady with my name."

Peyton laughed. "Yeah, I'm Peyton Sawyer. It's _so_ great to meet you." She gushed. "Hey, you want to see something?"

Sawyer looked cautiously back over to Lucas who nodded. "It's okay, Sawy, I'm right here."

He slowly followed Peyton over to the corner of her room where she dug through her belongings, finally pulling out a sketch pad. Sawyer watched intently as she flipped through several pages, finally her lips forming a smile in satisfaction.

"Here it is." She whispered, then pulling it away from her chest to show him.

"Wow! Is that me?" His stubby fingers traced over the sketch she presented him with.

"Yup, it is. I drew this a few hours after you were born." She elaborated.

"It looks just like I did."

Peyton nodded as Lucas watched on. This was the type of mother-son moment he pictured five years ago, when his son was brought into the world. But now, now it just didn't feel right. Too many things had changed. Too much had happened to come to this point.

"Do you want to keep it?" Peyton asked him.

"Can I?"

"Of course." She carefully tore it out of the book. "Here."

"Wow, this is so awesome! My mama is good at drawing too, but she draws clothes. She never drew me before." He smiled at her.

As the two interacted some more, Lucas's phone rang and when he checked to see who it was, he put it immediately back into his pocket.

It was Brooke.

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Brooke wiped away her tears, trying to regain her composure. She heard footsteps coming and immediately pretended she was doing something. Something besides _crying_.

"Hey, Brooke."

"Hey, Hales." Brooke tried to cover her shaky voice. But the façade did not pass Haley.

"Brooke, what's wrong?"

Brooke's teary eyes met Haley's as she shook her head. "It's nothing."

"It is something, otherwise you wouldn't be crying, now would you? What is it? Did you speak to Lucas?"

"No…I tried calling but he wouldn't pick up."

"I'm sure he just didn't hear it." Haley reassured her, pulling her into a hug.

"Yeah, me too." Brooke nodded, trying to convince herself. However, her tears did not stop. "That's not all, Hales." She admitted.

"What is it?" They parted as Haley questioned her sternly.

"I—I'm late."

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**A/N – Uh oh! Cliffhanger!! :)**

**Thanks:**

idoloveyou - I know things are looking even worse for Brucas in this chapter, but don't worry! Things will turn around eventually. Thanks for the review!

Mel – More drama is _definitely_ starting up lol. I'm glad you're enjoying the story and thanks a bunch for the review!

kbrucas22 – I'm glad you like the story! Thanks for the review!

**Thanks everyone! Leave a reviewww!**

**--Melissa :) :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N – Hey everyone! **

**Thanks: **TeamxxBrulianxx, tanya2byour21, babyd21, Mosie1213, Princesakarlita411, Kimberlli, tp404, AHJNKCES, koumi11, Sam, Jill Cohen, dianehermans, dolcegrazia, Long Live BRUCAS, cRaZyGuRl093, moonkisss, BrucasLove123, idoloveyou, mel, **and** haylee.

**Thanks so, so, so much for the reviews! Here's chapter 10- hope you enjoy!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 10 –

"_Good morning, boys!" Brooke cheerfully spoke as she entered the hospital room_

_Lucas looked up from his son to face the brunette. "You're extremely happy today, Brooke." He noted. _

"_And why wouldn't I be? Sawyer's doing much better, isn't he?"_

_The blonde nodded at that, allowing a small smile to form onto his lips. "That he is."_

"_So then what is it?" Brooke asked cautiously, taking a seat next to him in the small, cramped room. "You can tell me, Luke."_

_He looked down instead of facing her, not saying one word._

"_It's Peyton…" She guessed, seemingly taking the words out of his mouth._

_It was then that Lucas picked his head up and frowned, nearly letting tears escape from his eyes. "She hasn't called me back, Brooke. It's like she doesn't even care anymore…she doesn't care about me…and she doesn't care about our son."_

_Brooke slowly placed an arm over his shoulders and pulled him closer. "She's gonna call, Lucas. Even better; she's gonna come back. She's going to realize what two amazing people she left behind, and she's going to come back. You just wait."_

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"I—I'm late."

Haley's eyes widened as the information processed. "Are you—do you know if you're-"

"No." She shook her head. "I didn't take a test…I didn't tell Lucas…I didn't do _anything_." She began freaking out. "This has been on my mind for a while now, and that's the problem. I haven't done _a thing_. All this shit is piling up…and…and I just _can't_, Haley. I just _can't _do this anymore. It's…It's too hard." The sobs cracked her speech and she tried pulling herself together. There was no point though. It was too much. She was slowly but surely allowing her emotions to consume her every action.

"Brooke…" Haley tried to soothe her, pulling her into her arms. "It'll all be okay. But, you should take a test…that way you'll know what to do."

Brooke, wiping her eyes, slowly nodded. "You're right."

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"So." Lucas broke the silence as he and his son sat at the kitchen table eating dinner. "What do ya think, bud?"

"Mama's food is better." Sawyer replied, playing around with the food on his plate with a fork.

"Hey, I worked very hard on this meal for you." Lucas replied defensively. "And I _wasn't_ talking about the dinner. I was talking about Peyton." He smirked at the young boy.

"_Oh_." Sawyer smiled. "Well in that case, I think she's pretty cool."

"Yeah? That's good. So you'd want to hang out with her again?"

"I guess." He shrugged. "But…where's mama? She's never home anymore."

"I know, Sawy. I miss her too."

Just as Lucas was about to go on, the phone rang.

"Hold that thought." He spoke, getting up from the table.

"But you _never_ answer the phone during dinner." Sawyer noted.

"Maybe it's your mom." He replied back quickly to Sawyer. Sawyer's face immediately lit up with excitement as his father spoke into the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Luke." Haley's voice on the other end sounded anxious and uneasy.

"Hey, Haley. Is something wrong?...You sound…_off_."

"It's about Brooke." She quickly looked around to make sure Brooke wasn't around.

"Is everything alright?" He panicked. "Is she okay?"

"Well…yeah but…" She stopped and sighed. "Look, Luke, I normally would never go against Brooke's wishes, and by making this call I _so _am…but, she's going home in a little bit, and when she does, Lucas, just _talk_ to her, okay?"

"Haley-"

"Just _promise_ me, Luke. She needs you to talk to her. She may not want to, but you _have_ to."

"Okay…?" He replied slightly confused. What was wrong with Brooke? Why wasn't Haley telling him anything?

"I got to go before she comes back; I'll talk to you later."

Lucas hung up but stared at the phone for a good few seconds after that. He wanted it to ring again, and he wanted it to be Brooke. A part of him thought this was karma for him rejecting her earlier call. Now, more than ever, he wanted to speak to her.

"Wasn't mama, was it?" Sawyer asked, shaking his head.

"No, sorry, buddy."

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Walking up the pathway to the front door just somehow didn't feel right. It felt like it had been an eternity since she'd been there, yet it'd only been a day. It wasn't something she wanted to do, but it was what she rather _needed_ to.

Brooke quietly slipped through the front door, hoping her entrance would not be noticed. But, she was mistaken when she soon heard the sound of feet quickly running towards her.

"Mama!" Sawyer immediately ran into her arms, excited as ever to see his mother.

"Hey, my handsome baby boy. How are you?" She asked, holding him close in her arms.

"Good…" He told her with a smile, but when Brooke noticed his face turn from happy to confused, she knew what he was going to ask. "But where were you?"

She took a moment to decide on an answer, on a _lie_, to tell the precious young boy. "I just needed some time to myself, but I thought about you the whole time, you know." She smiled and brushed tufts of blonde hair out of his eyes. "And I'm so sorry for everything." She embraced him tighter.

"Hey, Brooke." The sound she heard next left her feeling paralyzed, as she slowly managed to stand up from where she was with Sawyer to reach Lucas's startling blue eyes.

"Hi, Luke." Her voice cracked as she spoke, pushing hair behind her ear in an awkward manner.

"Oh, mama!" Sawyer must have not had noticed the tension. "I wanna show you something. Stay right here!" He ordered.

Before she was able to respond, he dashed off upstairs into his room.

"Luke…I…"

"I know you were at Nathan and Haley's..."

She nodded slowly, not sure where to go from there. Before any more talking could be exchanged between the two, Sawyer rushed back downstairs with a large piece of paper.

"Look!" He pointed to it. "It's me. Isn't it cool?" He was enthused.

As Brooke's eyes landed on the object her son was showing her, it all made sense to Brooke. It was why Lucas hadn't picked up the phone. It was the reason Brooke had left home the previous night.

"Wow…"She spoke, her voice shaky. "That is something, buddy. How 'bout you go on upstairs to your room to hang it up- Give me and your daddy a chance to talk?"

"Okay." He seemed not to mind as he went back up the stairs.

Once they heard their son's door close, on an impulse, Brooke crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes. "So you took him to see her."

"I told you I would." He stated plainly.

"_No_." She shook her head. "No you didn't. You _never_ told me you were going _today_. You said you were _thinking_ about the whole thing. There's a _huge_ difference, Lucas."

"How, Brooke? You made it crystal clear to me that you wanted _nothing_ to do with any of that stuff." He defended himself.

"Oh, _please_, Luke. You should've at least told me. I have a right to know."

"And don't you think I have a right to know certain things too?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Haley called me."

"…And…?" She wasn't understanding.

"And…" He continued for her. "What's going on, Brooke?"

"Wh-What?" She stuttered. "What did Haley tell you?"

"To _talk_ to you, Brooke. You're the one that needs to tell me something."

"Nothing's going on, Lucas." Brooke waved him off. "You know, Haley. She worries about everything."

Lucas sighed. "Brooke. I'm going to ask you this again. What is going on?"

"Lucas!"

"Brooke…" He tested her.

"It was nothing…okay…" She shook her head, and began pacing. "I thought…I thought I might have been pregnant."

Lucas was instantly taken back upon the news, so Brooke quickly clarified.

"I said I _thought_, Luke. I was late, but I took the test there, and-"

"Wait." He held his hand up to cut her off. "How am I the _last_ person to find out about this?" From his voice, she could guess he was getting angry. "I should be the _first_."

"Oh, don't go there, Lucas. _Do not _go there. Because guess what, I should've been the _first_ person to find out about your secret meeting with Peyton. And I found out from _Sawyer_ none the less! So don't even start with that. And you know what? You _would've_ been the first had you picked up your goddamn phone!"

"_Brooke_…"

"No, Luke. Don't tell me that what I did was wrong when you won't even pick up your goddamn phone when I call you!"

"Forget it. Forget it, okay? Look…Are you sure you're not pregnant?"

"I_ told_ you. I took the test. It was negative."

"There are such things as false-negatives." Lucas reminded her.

"Luke, I'm not-" She was cut off by no words, yet his glance. "Fine." She settled. "If it will make you happy, I'll make an appointment for the morning."

"I'll come with you." He immediately offered.

"No, it's fine. You need to stay home and watch Sawyer. I can go myself."

"Brooke, please. Can you please just put everything that's been happening aside for this one time and let me go with you? We can take Sawyer to Haley and Nathan's."

She didn't want to argue; she didn't want to fight.

"Fine." Brooke reluctantly agreed. "Okay."

The two seemed to just stand there in silence; an unbearable silence.

"Luke, if I am…" Her raspy voice trailed off, her eyes slowly moving to meet his.

"We'll figure it out." He assured her. "I promise you."

It seemed to be an acceptable answer because Brooke, without any other words, nodded and walked away, leaving Lucas to bask in his own thoughts.

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"_Hey, is everything alright?" Lucas wrapped his arms around her, dropping a kiss onto her head._

"_Yeah…" She spoke almost inaudibly, nodding._

"_It's just you've been quiet the whole night and Brooke Davis usually never shuts up." He tried to get a smile out of her, but no such luck. _

_Ignoring him, Brooke unraveled herself from his grasp and turned to Sawyer in his highchair. "I got to get Sawyer to bed…Come on baby boy." She lifted him up and positioned him safely in her arms._

"_Brooke…Please. Something's bothering you."_

_She tried to pretend he wasn't there, but even with her back turned against him she could still feel his gaze on her. Slowly, turning around, she mumbled. "I called Peyton."_

"_About what the lawyer said?"_

_Brooke nodded._

"_And…?"_

"_She said…she said she'd let me know. In other words, it's a no, Luke."_

"_But she didn't say that." He tried to point out. "She didn't say no, she didn't."_

"_Lucas…" She sadly shook her head and began walking up the stairs to put Sawyer to bed._

"_Everything will work out, Brooke." He called out to her. "It'll be okay."_

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**A/N – **

**Thanks for anonymous reviewers:**

tp404 – Thanks so much for the review! Well, you didn't find out if she was pregnant in this chapter, but you will definitely know for sure in the next!

Sam – Thanks for the review! I'm glad you like the story so much!

mel – Thanks for the review! I told you there'd be more drama lol. You'll find out if she's pregnant in the next chapter. I know this chapter wasn't much longer than the last, and I'm sorry for that. I'll try to make the next one longer.

haylee – Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you like the story. I do love Julian, however I _wouldn't_ expect an appearance from him in this story lol. Things are already complicated and I think adding him would make things even worse…which we definitely do not want lol. But thanks for the suggestion. And it's not that Sawyer is like sick-sick, it's just there are always precautions to be taken with transplant hearts. Thanks again :)

**So, how'd everyone like the chapter? It's been sitting in my documents for like 2 days and I just couldn't get it right. Personally, I'm not too happy with it, but we'll see. **

**Leave a review pretty please :) Thankss!**

**(P.S. for anyone interested lol – I'm currently watching 5x05 on soapnet waiting for the BL scenes! Lol =] )**

**--Melissa**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N – It's been like a month, and I'm just so sorry. Writers block sucks, what can I say?**

**Thanks: **TeamxxBrulianxx, Mosie1213, babyd21, Princesakarlita411, Long Live BRUCAS, koumi11, tp404, RealSelflessLove, mel, tanya2byour21, Brucasfan23, idoloveyou, AHJNKCES, pink5288, brucasfanatic, TreeHillGirl23, BDavis427, moonkisss, mrs-mcdreamy1, ReadingRed, brookenlucas4eva03, ILUVSHIA2009, miralinda, dianehermans, **and** Lakeland.

**I'm sorry if I did not get a chance to reply to every review, but I promise I will reply to ever reviewer this chapter…so review please!**

**Enjoyyy! :)**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 11 –

"_Lucas…what's going on?" Brooke spoke slowly, confusion etched into her voice. _

_She had come in to visit Lucas and Sawyer, as she had been doing daily ever since the baby's surgery a month and a half ago. Used to seeing Sawyer still in his incubator and Lucas sitting contently beside him, she was surprised to find no baby in the incubator and Lucas cleaning out random objects around the room, either throwing them out or tossing them in bags. _

"_Where's Sawyer?" It was the first thought that crossed her mind. "Is he alright?" She immediately tensed. _

"_He's fine." Lucas laughed at her franticness. "He's more than fine actually." His smile seemed to calm her if only the slightest._

"_Well where is he? And why are you cleaning?"_

_Lucas had been so entirely consumed to the room that it had become his second home, and so he kept things such as his clothes, books, and necessities. Some nights he didn't even bother to go home, and instead decided to sleep in the room with his son. Thus, he had many of his things lying around the room._

"_The doctor said it's time, Brooke." _

"_Time for what?" _

"_Time for him to go home. He's ready, Brooke. Sawyer has finally strengthened up enough to get out of here. The doctors are just running some final tests to make sure…which is why he isn't here at the moment…but it's pretty much a done deal." Lucas explained. "He's coming home." _

"…_Luke…" She was practically speechless at the news; at the incredible news. It seemed like just yesterday they were still waiting to hear news about the dangerous surgery. "That's amazing!" She exclaimed, quickly wrapping her arms around his neck in a great embrace._

_Once they pulled apart, they just stared into each other's eyes, until something hit Brooke._

"_Oh…" She spoke. "I'm sorry, um, do you want me to call Peyton?"_

_By the look on his face, Brooke could tell Lucas hadn't even thought of that himself. But he seemed to consider it for a second._

_Did she call him back since he had last called her?_

_No._

_Did she come back to even see how their son was doing?_

_No._

_Did she, then, deserve a phone call?_

…_Well, he wasn't so sure…_

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The thought scared her.

And it wasn't because she didn't want to have a baby with him. Because having a baby with Lucas Scott would be a dream come true. But if she was pregnant, it would just be at the complete _wrong_ time. And that was the scary part.

Had this had come up only a mere month ago, it would be great news. But a lot had happened in such a short amount of time. And now she wasn't so sure if a baby would be a good thing to throw into the mix.

"Are you okay?" Lucas asked, knowing Brooke was probably not talking because she didn't _want_ to talk. But the silence was too awkward and too painful. And he just really needed to hear her talk.

"I'm fine." Her raspy voice nearly broke his heart into pieces as the sad, low sound sunk in. "I just want to find out already." She mumbled.

"Well, the doctor said it would just be a few more minutes before we can go in again and she'll have the results."

Brooke nodded, not saying a word.

"Hey, look..." Lucas knew Brooke was nowhere near interested in hearing him speak, but deciding against it, he decided to continue on in a conversation. "I was thinking…and you were right…You didn't want Sawyer to meet her…and I kind of ignored that fact for some reason or another." He knew he shouldn't have brought that topic up right at that specific moment, but he couldn't help himself from explaining to her.

"No, Luke…" Brooke spoke softly. "It's not that I didn't want him to meet her. But you're right - I didn't. It's just the fact that you took him without even letting me know. I could've been there, I _should've_ been there. It would have made things so much easier for us now had I _been_ there."

"I know…I understand that now."

"_Now_? Well why not _then_, Lucas? Is it because I _might_ be pregnant that everything starts to change? That you're no longer mad at me for disagreeing with you?"

"_No_." He assured her forcefully. "_Of course_ not." He reached out for her hand, grabbing a hold of it, much to her dismay.

"Luke…" She attempted to pull away from his grasp and resist the soft grip his fingers had around her own.

"Please, Brooke. I-I was being an ass…I made a _mistake_. I _need_ you to forgive me. I _need_ you to give me a second chance. I love you, pretty girl…you know that."

"Lucas…" She sighed, closing her eyes, praying to god that she wouldn't start crying right there and then in the doctor's office. It was not the time, nor place, for this to be all going down. It'd definitely have to wait. "Let's just figure this all out first, okay? Let's see where we are left then, after."

"Fine." He muttered sadly, disappointed at her reply, and disappointed in himself for being such a screw up. "Okay."

Brooke noted Lucas was still holding her hand, and after a few minutes, he realized the one thing she hoped he hadn't. The one _big_ thing.

"Brooke…" He looked up to her, hurt and confusion evident in his sparkling blue eyes. "Where's…Where's your ring?"

"Luke…I-I…um…"

And before she could think of something to say, something to possibly make it all go away, the receptionist called the two back in to speak with the doctor.

She quietly slipped out of her chair, without so much as a glance to Lucas, and walked back down the narrow hallway into the examining room.

Lucas got up not too long after, and tried to wash away all traces of emotion on his face, and followed. Brooke had taken off her engagement ring…and now Lucas was even more confused as to where they stood. Most of all though, it had felt like his heart had been ripped out of his body, just pulled out, thrown on the ground, and then stomped on...Stomped on until the beating pulse stopped.

"Okay, well I have the results here." The doctor spoke formally.

"We're ready for them." Brooke spoke and glanced towards Lucas, noting he was not looking at her, and instead, she noted that he seemed to have his eyes focused on the floor. And she knew exactly why he was acting this way. The ring. Or lack of it.

"Luke?"

Lucas, even when not facing her, could tell that her eyes had been directly on him. He could feel her glance burn into him, ever so painfully. "Uhh, sorry…We're ready."

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"I just don't understand." Brooke mumbled, shaking her head. "I took the test and it was _negative_."

"You heard the doctor, the tests _can_ be inaccurate…it happens."

"But it can't happen to us, Luke! This is at the worst time possible."

"So what are you trying to say, Brooke?" He asked coldly, his voice coming out more tense than he had anticipated.

"I don't know! But come on, Lucas – Look at us! We're a mess…this whole thing is just a hectic mess."

"Yeah, I figured you thought as much when I noticed your ring finger looking a little bare." He spoke bitterly.

"That's not fair, Lucas."

He attempted to say something, but decided it wasn't worth it and just sighed, as they walked to their car. Today was definitely going to be a long day.

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After promising Sawyer she'd spend the day with him, Brooke also, unfortunately, had to spend the day with Lucas as well. And it had been a living nightmare.

Exhausting from the day's commotions, Brooke slowly walked into Sawyer's room where he was almost ready to go to sleep for the night.

"Mama, you're still here." He sounded excited.

She smiled when she realized he was still calling her 'mama', and took that as a good sign.

"Of course I am, buddy."

"It's just that you haven't tucked me in for a while now."

"Well I'm here now to tuck you in, if you want." She offered, knowing that he would happily accept.

He shook his head energetically and scrambled to get onto his bed and beneath his blankets.

"Look." He pointed to where he had tacked up the picture Peyton had drawn of him. "I hung it up."

"Yeah, I can see that, bud." Brooke replied, trying to hide her sadness."So…how is Peyton?" Though she knew the conversation would inevitably get her upset, she couldn't resist the urge to not ask the question.

"She's cool, and nice and pretty too. I think she wants to see me again."

"Yeah, I think so too. Do you want to see her again?"

He stayed silent for a minute. "Would it make you sad again if I did? 'Cause I don't want to see you sad."

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"Hi." Her voice was weak, strained and tired.

"Hi." He sounded surprised. "Are we finally going to talk now or will we just sit in silence again?"

"Lucas…"

"…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I…Um – Are you staying here tonight or are you going to Nate and Hales'?"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Of course I do." Lucas answered almost immediately. "But I'm not going to force you. If you still need your space, I get that…I don't want to push you any further away than I already have."

"Lucas, if this is about the ring…" She shuffled her feet awkwardly, feeling ashamed. "I am _so_ sorry…I-I took it off after our fight the other night and I was just so _angry. _It doesn't change anything-"

"-But it does, Brooke." He instantly cut her off. "It changes _so much_. And now with this _baby_…" He whispered, knowing Sawyer was probably still not yet asleep, and he hadn't received the news yet. "_Everything_ changes."

"You know I want to have this baby with you."

"Then why aren't you happy?"

"Because of all this other crap going on! Lucas, we've spoken about having kids together, we've always planned this…but all this other stuff going on at the same time…we didn't...that's what's not planned…and unfortunately that ruins this great, miraculous thing too."

"But…" He tried to think of things to say. Anything that would make sense and make it better. "We…we can tell Peyton to go away…that Sawyer rather not have her in his life."

"Yeah." She laughed sardonically. "If only things were that simple." She replied. "And that would be great, if only Sawyer agreed with all that."

"What?"

"He wants to see her again, Lucas. And I'm not going to deprive him of that. We started this…and we're going to have to carry through with it."

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"_Isn't that yummy?" Brooke cooed to the small child while feeding him ice cream. "Now don't tell your daddy I'm giving you this." Brooke laughed, imagining Lucas lecturing her on how his son was too young to start forming cavities on his newly grown baby teeth._

"_Oh, hold that thought." She told Sawyer as the phone rang. "Hello." She greeted happily._

"_Hey…um, it's Peyton."_

"_Peyton." Brooke pretended to be surprised, yet she had been waiting for this call since the last time she had spoken to the blonde. She'd spent her days practically sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring. "How are you?"_

"_I'm okay…just been thinking about what you asked me."_

"_Oh, you have?"_

"_Yeah…and…" It seemed to Brooke that Peyton was talking so slowly, she'd never get to the real reason for the phone call. And Brooke held her breath, hoping Peyton would give her the one thing she'd been yearning for. "I'm sorry, Brooke…I just can't." _

_Before Brooke could even ask her a question, Peyton hung up, leaving Brooke basking in her crushed dreams, with the dial tone in the background._

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**A/N - Okay, so to be honest, I was NOT going to have Brooke be pregnant…but so many of you guys wanted her to be so,…there you go. lol. Then I thought of some future storylines, so I'm pretty happy with my decision as well.**

**Anonymous reviewers:**

tp404 – Well, you got what you wanted. A pregnant Brooke, lol. Thanks for the review! It means so much! :)

mel – Thanks a bunch for the review! You found out that Brooke is pregnant, and I hope you're happy with the outcome. Since you enjoyed the Baley in the last chapter, I will try to incorporate them in the next chapter because I too enjoy them. Thanks!

**Thanks everyone!!!**

**--Melissa**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N –**

**Thanks: **CheerandBrood323, one tree hill lovin actress, pink5288, ReadingRed, TeamxxBrulianxx, Mosie1213, Long Live BRUCAS, Love me some Julian, koumi11, dianehermans, babyd21, BDavis427, moonkisss, idoloveyou, A Amanda A, Princesakarlita411, Lakeland, BrucasEqlsluv **and **tanya2byour21.

**Thanks for the all the reviews!! Enjoy this new chapter! :)**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 12 –

_As he passed by all the places that made Tree Hill so important to him, he couldn't help but smile. Lately things had been turning around, and driving past the river court, his mom's café, and Tric just showed Lucas what he had been missing while he spent the past few months cooped up in the hospital._

_Every few seconds he'd look back at Sawyer, who was carefully positioned in his car seat, to make sure he was doing okay. _

_When Lucas finally drove up his block, going up the driveway, he grinned, seeing that Brooke was sitting on his front steps waiting._

_The brunette, noticing the car, stood up and waved excitedly._

"_Took you two long enough." She said, watching as Lucas took Sawyer out of the car with precaution._

"_We were taking the scenic route." He replied. "Thanks for coming over, Brooke."_

"_What, did you think I'd miss Sawyer's big day?"_

"_I guess not." He laughed. "Well, this is it. Welcome home, Sawyer."_

"_You're gonna love it here!"_

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**(A few days later)** –

Lucas woke up disoriented, confused and very uncomfortable and it was seconds later he realized why. He had slept on the couch another night and that was because Brooke had been staying over the past few days – thanks to Sawyer's pleading, puppy dog eyes – as opposed to sleeping over at Nathan and Haley's.

Lucas wanted to give her space, knowing she was in a fragile state, and offered to sleep down stairs, leaving her alone in their room.

He sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes of sleep. Never, in his memory, had he felt more miserable in his life. It seemed like no matter what choices he was presented with, what decisions he made, Brooke seemed to be moving further away from him, becoming more distant.

And he wasn't going to lie and say that the baby she was carrying put them in an absolutely perfect situation – because it apparently didn't – but he liked to consider it something that would help them work out their differences at the moment. Help them become closer and become the people they were not too long ago.

He just hoped Brooke hadn't completely written them off yet. He hoped that she too was holding on to the tiniest thread of hope that would help them get back to themselves, despite what was thrown at them.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Brooke sat up in bed, having only gotten, at the most, four hours of sleep during the night. This had been going on for a few days. Instead of peacefully sleeping, her mind had been plagued on thoughts of Sawyer, Peyton, and, ever since receiving news about the pregnancy, the baby that was now growing inside of her.

She found it to be cruel irony that now that she was having a child of her own, it seemed as though she was losing Sawyer, the boy she had always considered to be her own, the boy she raised to be her own.

It was an unsettling thought, one that turned her stomach leaving an unpleasant sensation.

She was surprised when a knock came upon the door, and in waltzed Sawyer, not even eight o'clock in the morning.

"Hi, mama!" He seemed a bit too energetic for it to still be morning.

"Sawyer, what are you doing up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep." He shrugged. "I was too excited."

"And why's that?"

"_Because_." He sighed dramatically, smiling and rolling his eyes at Brooke. "Today we're going to Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley's house and I haven't seen them in a while and I wanna see how my baby cousin is doing 'cause she's gonna be born soon, right? _And_ _also_, Uncle Nate told me last time that he'd play basketball with me and he'd actually let me win this time, mama. And he _never ever_ lets me win, mama. _Never_." When he finished he took a deep breath. "_See_?"

"Done there, bud?" Brooke laughed. "I swear, you talk a mile a minute."

"Peyton says I get that from you."

Just like that, just by mentioning her name, the room's whole atmosphere, whole mood, changed. Brooke's smile faded.

"I guess you do, Sawy." She replied soundly.

"Am I going to see her again soon?"

Brooke managed to nod her head, and it took all energy out of her. What amazed her even more was her ability to plaster a fake smile on her face, as she laced her fingers through Sawyer's. "That's what you said you wanted, right?"

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"Hi Aunt Haley!" Sawyer greeted quickly. "Come on, Uncle Nate!" He tugged his uncle to the backyard.

"Hello to you too, Sawyer." Haley laughed.

"Sorry about that, Hales. He's been looking forward to playing basketball with Nathan all day." Brooke explained.

Haley nodded in understanding, and then Lucas quietly excused himself outside to where his brother and son were.

"That was…_awkward_." Haley noted. "I'm sensing it's not getting better."

"Since the last time you spoke to me? Not a chance."

"I'm sorry, Brooke. I wish there was something that I could do to help you, to fix this."

"Unless you're a super genius who can build a time machine, there's no chance. But the good news is that things with Sawyer and Peyton seem to be going smoothly."

"Oh, Brooke…"

"Please, Hales…_don't_."

Brooke did not mean to come off rudely, but she was not in the mood for sympathy, because truth was, Haley had absolutely no idea what the hell she was going through. She had absolutely no idea how painful it was, how tiring it was, how stressful it was. She had _absolutely no idea_.

"Look, I'm sorry, but…I just don't want people feeling sorry for me. It'll do no good. It won't change _anything_."

Haley knew better than to answer Brooke back and instead replied with a simple "okay."

"So, tell me, Hales…" Brooke decided it would be best to change the topic. "How's the baby doing?"

"She's fine." Haley smiled. "Only a little while left. And how about you, how do you and the baby feel?"

"I'm trying to focus on what's _not_ falling apart at the moment, the things that are helping me keep sane these days…I think I'll be fine. I always am."

She didn't say anything, but Haley was definitely worried about Brooke. Sure, Brooke Davis had always been strong willed and had definitely never let the pressure take her under…but Haley was starting to wonder if this was a bit _too much_. The fact that Brooke was trying to make it seem like she was fine at certain moments when it was quite obvious she wasn't…that was what scared Haley, and she just hoped Brooke wouldn't be pushed to her limits.

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The next day seemed to drag on forever, as the tension between Brooke and Lucas had not lessened, and instead grew.

She sat peacefully in the kitchen sketching a new design for her line when she heard the doorbell ring. Knowing Lucas was closer to the door than she was, she decided to let him open it and continued with what she'd been doing.

_Bad idea_.

"Peyton?" She heard Lucas's confused voice. "What…What are you doing here?"

Quickly, Brooke left her place in the kitchen to accompany Lucas at the front door.

"Brooke…" Lucas spoke slowly, suddenly getting nervous. "I-I didn't invite her here, I-"

"-No." Brooke shook her head, cutting him off mid-sentence. "I know you didn't…because _I_ did."

Lucas's expression suddenly changed. "You _did_?"

"Um, I'll go wait outside." Peyton excused herself quietly.

"Wait…so let me get this straight." Lucas said, clearly not understanding. "You got mad at me when I contacted her without your knowledge, but then _you_ go and do the _same thing_? I said sorry, Brooke, what else do you want from me?"

"This isn't about that, Luke."

"Then what _is_ it about? This isn't a _game_!"

"I know that, okay." She sighed. "Look, let's just talk about this later…" She reasoned. "Sawyer! Ready to go?" She called upstairs, walking past Lucas, almost as if he wasn't there.

"Brooke…" He attempted.

"_Later_." Was all Brooke could reply back.

"Fine." Lucas sighed deeply, agreeing reluctantly. "Okay…but, do you want me to come with you guys?"

Brooke shook her head confidently.

"Brooke…" He urged.

"We'll be fine, Lucas. _I'll _be fine."

Lucas did not want to pressure her anymore and instead placed a simple kiss on her cheek and walked away seconds before Sawyer came down the stairs.

The two walked outside and Sawyer smiled and waved happily when he saw Peyton standing in the driveway.

As Brooke helped Sawyer into the car, Peyton watched, seeing how well the two were together; how it seemed that they really _were_ mother and son.

"So I was thinking, how does the park sound?" Brooke suggested, turning her head to Peyton.

"The park sounds fine." The blonde replied, nodding a little.

Brooke smiled slightly as she opened the car door for herself.

"Hey, Brooke…" Peyton stopped her abruptly. "…Thanks for this."

The tiniest smile that she had acquired suddenly disappeared. "I'm not doing this for you, Peyton. I'm not doing this for you, or for Lucas, and _certainly not_ for me. I'm doing this for him…" She glanced to Sawyer in the car, who was staring intently at the two adults, trying to figure out what they were saying through the tinted car windows. "For the little boy in this car. Just for _him_."

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"_Pretty girl, you've been too quiet tonight. What's wrong?"_

_Brooke shook her head, trying her best not to look Lucas in the eyes, because then he would see how truly broken she was feeling. She didn't want him to see her like that. _

"_Nothing." She mumbled. "Nothing at all."_

_She heard him sigh heavily and before she knew it, she felt two strong arms wrap around her, and she just couldn't help herself from sobbing, right there, in his grasp. _

"_Peyton…" She hiccupped. "She called…and…"_

_But she did not have to continue, and Lucas just held her even closer, even tighter, trying his best to make her feel anything but grief. _

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**A/N – Not too happy with this chapter. Sorta just a filler but w/e. **

**So, Brooke called Peyton to hang out with Sawyer again…and she didn't want Lucas to come along. **

**Breyton are definitely going to have a heartfelt convo in the next chapter, but the question is, what about…**

**Anonymous reviewers:**

Love me some Julian – Thanks so much for the review! It means a lot to hear you enjoy the story so much.

**Please review!! Thanksssssss! :) :) **

**--Melissa**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N – Here's another chapter!**

**Thanks: **dolcegrazia, TeamxxBrulianxx, Brucasfan23, ReadingRed, Mel, babyd21, BrucasEqlsluv, mrs-mcdreamy1, tanya2byour21, koumi11, Long Live BRUCAS, idoloveyou, BDavis427, Princesakarlita411, pink5288, dianehermans, onetreefan, tp404, Lakeland, Poursugaronme. **and **Mosie1213.

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 13 –

_Brooke didn't__ understand. _

_She didn't understand why Peyton hadn't even attempted to call. Why she hadn't even shown a slight interest in finding out how her son was doing. _

_It was very unlike her best friend – and that worried her. She could tell it worried Lucas too, as he would sometimes stare at the phone, in the middle of the day, randomly, out of the blue. He would just wait for it to ring, but when it did, it was not who he had hoped would be on the other end._

_Brooke guessed now, as it had been a while since she left, he was so mad, he just wanted to know if she was alright. And she couldn't even give him that. _

"_Sawyer already has an amazing dad." Brooke reminded him countless times. "And it's Peyton's loss for not being here to experience this with you."_

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For a second Brooke felt as though time had froze, as she sat on the bench on a hot summer day in the park, with Peyton beside her. There had been no noise and if only for a moment in her chaotic life, she had felt at peace with the calm and serene environment.

But then as quickly as it came, it went. And she could hear the laughter of the children playing, the sound of the swings screeching, and Peyton clearing her throat.

She tried to focus on anything but the blonde sitting beside her, and looked on to her son, grasping the monkey bars with all his might. Nervously, she watched, remembering the countless times she had warned him to be extremely careful on the jungle gym equipment, telling him she did not need him breaking any bones or anything.

"He's good." Peyton commented, allowing Brooke to realize that she too was watching Sawyer.

"Yeah, well, I _hate _those things." Brooke commented, trying to make conversation despite the awkwardness. "He once fell off them and started to cry. I ran over to him, thinking he broke or sprained something…he refused to let me see where he had fallen, and not even a minute later he got back up and went back to do it _again_!" Brooke laughed, thinking back on the memory and what a crazy person Sawyer was.

"Never backs down 'til he gets what he wants." Peyton smiled. "Sounds like someone I know."

Suddenly, Brooke's attitude turned, and her face now looked solemn, as the silence returned. "No, Peyton. Someone you _used_ to know."

It had been less than a minute ago the two had been conversing as if nothing had happened to them; as if nothing had come between them. It had been almost…_natural_. But now Brooke realized that was wrong – because it _shouldn't_ have been natural…things _had_ happened to them….things _had_ come between them.

"Brooke…" Peyton's voice was hoarse, not even above a whisper.

The sound brought chills to Brooke's spine. "We used to know each other sowell, Peyton…_so well_…but now…now I don't even know what to say…" Her voice descended with each coming word, eventually trailing off into nothing.

Peyton didn't say a word after that, and instead looked on, too ashamed too even face Brooke at that point. She didn't know what to say either.

"You know…Lucas, he gave up on you…_way_ earlier than I had." She didn't know why she felt the need to speak again, seeing as she really didn't even know where to begin. "You were my best friend though." She said tearfully. "And I thought you were a better person than _that_. I mean _especially_ with what happened with your own mother."

"You have to understand-"

"-_No_! I don't have to understand _anything_, Peyton." Her voice was harsh, cutting into her like a knife. "We were _best friends_ and you couldn't even _talk_ to me to let me know what was going through your mind. You were my best friend and you were Lucas's _fiancé_, Peyton. Goddamn it! I stood up for you, I…I told him you'd come back eventually…and I don't even know why I was doing that." Her blood seemed to boil within and she felt herself fighting back not only anger, but tears as well.

"I wasn't just doing it for him either, I was trying to convince myself too! Trying to convince myself that you weren't really that _heartless_ to leave behind a _sick_ child. Lucas – he was just a mess – he was trying to make sense of everything…and I felt so guilty because I really couldn't do that for him. You left so…so _suddenly_…Just…tell me, Peyton…Why?"

Peyton looked back over to Sawyer, still playing on the monkey bars, and instantly images of the tiny little baby, the tiny little baby she used to be able to call her own, flooded her mind and she had to blink several times to get rid of them.

"I was scared." She spoke softly, afraid Brooke would lash out again. "I was scared and I was young and I was just so confused." She reasoned.

"And Lucas wasn't? He was a mess, Peyton. A mess. And you left me to pick up all the pieces."

Peyton shook her head. "You didn't need to Brooke, I never asked you…"

"No, you didn't." Brooke agreed. "But it was still my responsibility…" She gulped, swiping at her face for tears. "You…you were my best friend…Hoes over Bros…right, _P. Sawyer_?" The nickname came out too fluently, causing both girls to sob. "What happened to you?" Brooke cried.

Peyton shook her head at this, not even knowing the answer herself. "I don't know." She sobbed.

It was an amazement that Sawyer had not yet turned to see the two girls crying, yet both were aware that though Sawyer had not noticed, other people had. But Brooke, nor Peyton seemed to care if they had an audience, because if that was what it would take for their feelings to come out, then so be it.

"I didn't know what was going to happen next…and that freaked me out…I panicked…I ran…I know by coming back you think I want something…I just…wanna get to know him…that's all…that's all I want."

"But why now? After _so long_. It's been five years, Peyton. Five long, hard years."

"I don't know why." Peyton replied sadly. "I've been thinking about it for a while now and-"

Cutting Peyton off midway was Brooke's cell phone. "Sorry." Brooke quickly said.

Wiping her tears and regaining her composure to make sure it wasn't evident she had been crying over the phone, she answered.

It was Lucas and he was wondering whether she'd be getting home soon, seeing as they needed to talk.

As she hung up, she looked back to Peyton. "Uh, we should be heading back now…so you know…"

"Oh, yeah, of course…um, another day?"

Slowly, Brooke smiled tightly, nodding. "Yeah…this was…_good_, I think…I'll go get Sawyer."

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The car ride had been silent, except for the quick goodbye shared when Brooke dropped Peyton off at where she had been staying since arriving in town.

Brooke used the silence to process her thoughts, which had currently been running all over the place. Their talk had been good, as Brooke had put it. They were able to discuss things they hadn't the first time they met, and in a more reasonable, calmer way too. There were still things Brooke wondered, but those concerns would have to wait for a later time.

"Hey, buddy, why don't you go wash up when we get inside…okay?"

"Sure, mama." He happily answered and ran inside when Brooke opened the door.

Lucas appeared from the hallway and sighed in relief when he saw Brooke was not crying, like she had been when she returned back from the last time she met up with Peyton.

"How was it?"

"Surprisingly not bad."

"So…we can talk now?"

She nodded slowly, offering a small smile. "If you're ready, I'm ready."

"I just…want us to get back to _normal_, Brooke…the way we used to be before she came…when we used to be happy."

"We still are." She tried to argue, but her façade could not pass by him.

"Really? 'Cause I don't see it. I want…I want you to look past of all this…all your hurt, and confusion, and extreme stubbornness, and just _try_ for me…please. I love you, and I know that you love me. So I don't see why we're like this, okay? I don't see why you never smile or laugh anymore, or why you don't have your ring on your finger anymore…I need those things, Brooke. I need to see that smile of yours every single day and I need to see you admire that ring of yours, and I need to hear you joking around with our son and hear the two of you laughing together. I _need_ that…otherwise…I'm nothing. I need to see that we're okay, that we're going to be okay for now…and for the future when our baby comes."

She felt tears coming down but didn't mind this time, as she slowly walked towards Lucas.

Unexpectedly, she wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his chest.

"We're going to be okay." She mumbled, and he had never heard anything so great in so long.

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**A/N – How was it? Things seem to be moving along now…maybe too smoothly…?? :)**

**Anonymous reviewers:**

Mel – Thanks for the review! Did this help your void of brucas action? Lol. Things seem to be getting better, don't they? :)

dianehermans – Thanks for the review! :)

tp404 – Thanks so much for the review! :)

**Reviewwwww pleaseee! Thanksss! :)**

**--Melissa**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N – Ughh, I know I suck at updating!! Truthfully I don't even have an excuse, so I won't even try to make one up lol. This chapter is pretty short, and pretty filler-ish too, unfortunately. Not sure when the next update will be considering I've gotta finish summer reading before school (which already starts this week!! :( ughhhh), but hopefully it won't be too long before chapter 15 is here (considering I know what I want to happen already).**

**Thanks: **tanya2byour21, dolcegrazia, BDavis427, ReadingRed, Princesakarlita411, Mosie1213, idoloveyou, babyd21, onetreefan, koumi11, dianehermans, Long Live BRUCAS, Mel, moonkisss **and **Lakeland.

**Btw, after the flashback, it skips a month from last month's present time. **

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 14 –

"_Luke?" Brooke called out as she entered the house with groceries in both hands._

"_In the kitchen!"_

_Upon his response, Brooke walked across the hall into the kitchen. "Oh, hey. So I was able to get most of what was on your list, but-" Abruptly, in the middle of her story, Brooke stopped and looked around and listened for any hints that a baby lived in the house. "Where's Sawyer?"_

_Lucas smiled proudly. "Takin' a nap."_

"_Oh my god, no way…you finally got him to sleep? That's great, Lucas."_

"_Yeah, and I was relaxing until your annoying self came back." He joked playfully. _

"_Hey, you should be grateful that I have so much time on my hands and have been playing your personal shopper for the past few weeks."_

"_I know." Lucas nodded. "And I am. It means a lot, Brooke."_

_Brooke smiled contently. "Better." She replied, and then in the corner of her eye something caught her attention. It looked like a pretty lengthy email that Lucas was writing. But it wasn't the length, yet it was the email address, that peaked her interest. "What's that?"_

"_Uhh, an email…"_

"_You could've given me a little more than that, Luke."_

"_I wrote something to Peyton…"_

"_Why?" Immediately after she said that she shook her head. "I mean, I don't mean 'why', I mean…I…I don't know what I mean, I just thought you were done trying to contact her, that's all. It's not like she's tried calling you back or anything…and I don't want to see you get hurt again. I know she's my best friend –or at least she used to be…but I'm not saying what she did was right and-"_

"_Woah, slow down…Don't worry. I am done." He spoke with confidence. "This letter proves it."_

"_Oh." She mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. "Well, what'd you say in the letter?…that is if you don't mind me asking."_

"_Well, I basically told her about our son…and how strong he is now; ya know, how great his recovery was. I described him to her, every bit of him…and I sent her a picture. That way she'll always have part of him with her…even if she may not deserve it, he still is her son and she should know about him."_

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**A month later –**

"He's out like a light." Peyton noted to Brooke as they sat in the car one night on the way back home from the beach.

"Well he was out all day in the sun _and_ was running around like a _maniac_." Brooke laughed. Leave it up to Sawyer to always be a burst of energy.

"Yeah." Peyton nodded in agreement. "Is he always like that?"

"Like what?"

"_Energetic_…upbeat _all the time_?"

"Pretty much." The brunette replied. "Hard to think he's Lucas's son, huh?" She joked.

Peyton laughed, going along with the joke. "And mine."

Abruptly, Brooke's laugh and smile vanished.

"Oh, I didn't mean that…I…you know…I-"

"It's fine, Peyton." Brooke let it go. She was not going to let one small slip up, that hopefully meant nothing, ruin the progress she'd made. She wasn't going to let it break down her strong front she had built. "Besides, it's not like either of you are the cheeriest people to walk the face of the earth." She offered a small smile, a simple gesture showing that she was fine.

Peyton let out a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding; glad that had not caused a bigger occurrence. Lately, she and Brooke had been getting along good…almost _great_. And Peyton just hoped that wouldn't wear off. Brooke had once again shone through with her amazing ability to forgive, and her amazing ability to be a truly great friend, even though she was not sure that Brooke considered them friends at this point yet. But she respected that; she respected it because whatever they were, she still allowed her to see Sawyer, which was all she wanted.

"So how's the baby?" Peyton asked lightly, changing the topic.

Brooke smiled at this and sighed. "Good. Haven't had any morning sickness or anything. Haley says I'm lucky."

"Oh, trust me. You are." And there it was again. Another big, fat reminder that Sawyer was Peyton's. "Sorry." Peyton quickly, and nervously, added.

"Peyton…" Brooke let out a huge breath. "You don't have to apologize for _every little thing_. I think we're passed that already, I mean this has been going on for a month."

"I know." She replied uncomfortably. "But I just don't want to make you feel…I don't know…_threatened_."

"Again…we're passed that."

The two then eased into silence until the car finally came to a halt and Peyton realized this was where she got out.

"Well, thanks again for today…and tell Lucas I said hi."

"Will do." She waved. "Right after I get Sawy off to bed. But my luck, he'll wake up right before that."

Peyton laughed. "Well good luck with that. I'll talk to you later."

Once Peyton was out of sight, Brooke pulled away, left in her own silence.

The thing with Peyton, well it was _complicated_. And Brooke wasn't sure how to put. Questions continued to race her mind. _How long was Peyton going to be staying in Tree Hill?_ And _where would she go when she left, if she left?_ It was now a month after she arrived, and no answers were to be found.

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"Hey, babe." Lucas spoke but was silenced when Brooke let out a quiet _shhh_ motioning to the sleeping boy in her arms.

Seconds later, after going to put him in his bed, she came back down with a smile.

"Now I can say hello to you."

"You know you shouldn't be carrying him anymore." He noted.

"Well I wasn't gonna wake him up. I'm fine."

She loved Lucas when he was like that. So _protective_. And she was so glad that they had been moving forward in their relationship, unlike the past where it seemed they were not able to get past the huge obstacle that stood before them. They were finally back on track; she had even put her ring back on.

He just shrugged. "How was today? You guys were out the whole day."

"It went good. You know, Peyton's _really_ trying."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"Honestly? I think we're okay now. I mean, I feel comfortable enough for them to spend a whole day together so…"

Lucas nodded. "How about spending a whole day together…_alone_?"

She looked quizzically at him, unaware exactly of what his question meant.

"What do you mean? Without one of us there?"

He nodded hesitantly.

"Why?" She asked. "Why ask that?"

"Because...I realize that your trip to your office in New York is coming up in a few days…and I could use some time off from work…and we could both use some time together without a little five-year-old pest interrupting us, and especially before this new one comes…"

"Luke, you know that sounds _amazing_." She stood perplexed. "But…I don't think so. I mean, I would ask _Naley_ for a favor." He laughed at the nickname as she went on talking. "But Haley's like the size of a _blimp_ these days, and I wouldn't want to make things harder for them."

"You know I was talking about leaving him alone with _Peyton_, right?" He asked jokingly, knowing full well she was just avoiding the subject.

"I don't know if I'm ready, Lucas." Brooke admitted. "Do _you_ trust her like that, Luke?"

"I don't see why not."

"You're kidding, right?"

"Okay." He admitted. "I get what you're saying, and where you're coming from...but…you _just_ told me she was trying. Did you not?"

"I did." She answered.

"Okay then. So maybe she _is_ ready, and you're just scared…and I get that…you have every reason to be. But do you really think she'll mess everything up after _all of this_. After you've trusted her _this much_ already?"

Brooke stood a moment, deep in thought.

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

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**A/N – Not too happy with this but I had to put something up. This chapter, though not much here, will lead to bigger things and was very much needed. **

**Also, sorry I didn't get to reply back to any reviews for the last chapter. I promise I will for this one! Review pleaseeee! :)**

**Btw, who else is excited for season 7?? Also, in case you people didn't know (and for those who like to be spoiled), the first four minutes of 7x01 is up online to watch!**

**--Melissa**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N – I totally wasn't expecting on updating this story this quickly, especially since I just posted chapter 14 TODAY lol, but what can I say? I really was excited to write this chapter. It kinda just wrote itself. :)**

**Thanks: **ReadingRed, onetreefan, pink5288, Long Live BRUCAS, RealSelflessLove, mel, babyd21, koumi11 **and **BDavis427.

**Enjoy this chapter!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 15 –

Peyton stood outside their door waiting anxiously for it to open. She smiled when it did, and stepped inside.

"Hey, Sawyer." She greeted happily, kneeling down to his level, offering the small boy a hug which he accepted, as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Mommy said that you're gonna be hanging out with my today. Just you and me, until daddy and her get back tomorrow." He told her excitedly.

"That's right. Just you and me."

"We're gonna have fun." He informed her.

"You bet we are." Peyton laughed before standing up.

"Sawyer…" The two heard footsteps, seconds later followed by Brooke rounding the corner. "What did me and daddy tell you about opening the door?" She stood, her hands placed firmly on her hips, tapping her foot, awaiting an answer.

"It was just Peyton." Sawyer shrugged.

"But it could have been _anybody_." She scolded."You need to learn to listen, buddy. Now daddy and I are going away for a night and I expect you to be on your best behavior for Peyton. Understood, mister?"

"Yes, mama."

"Alright. Good." She smiled at him, letting him know she was no longer mad with what happened before. "Now why don't you go upstairs and say goodbye to your dad before we leave?"

The blonde child nodded before racing up the stairs in search of his father.

Brooke turned to Peyton. "Thanks for this, Peyton…I'm sorry it was so last minute, but Lucas decided he wanted to come to New York and-"

"Brooke." Peyton laughed, cutting her off. "It's fine. I should be thanking _you_. I mean, for letting me watch him overnight and all. I appreciate it."

Brooke nodded, mentally wishing that her trust in Peyton would be worth it in the end. "Alright, so the guest bedroom is made up for you already, um, the fridge is stocked, money's on the kitchen table – whatever Sawyer wants to do, as long as he listens and behaves today, feel free to do with him, oh and I have a list of numbers on the fridge. Nathan and Haley are around today, so if you have any problems, give them a call – and today, just show Sawyer you're in charge. Don't let him take advantage. He knows when his bedtime is, and it's not at _midnight_, which more likely than not he _will_ try to convince you it is."

Peyton stood, letting the information soak in – it _was_ a lot of information to process, and _a lot_ of responsibility at that.

"Okay, I think I got it."

"Great." Brooke tried to come off as cool and relaxed, but Peyton could see right through her. She was a _nervous wreck_. "Just, if there's anything, and I mean _anything_ you're not sure about, _please_." She stressed. "_Please_ give us a call."

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"Are you going to be worried the _whole_ time?" Lucas asked, hours later, after they landed in New York.

"Not the _whole time_." She smirked. "Just until Nathan gets his ass over to our house to spy on them."

"_Brooke…_" He sighed. "That's not very nice."

"What?" She asked. "I'm just nervous, okay? It's not that I don't trust her…just maybe not one hundred percent."

"Look." He took her hands in his, staring deeply into her eyes. "We're going to enjoy our time here, together, alone…we're going to be back in Tree Hill tomorrow afternoon, Sawyer is going to be there, still in one piece, perfectly fine…_nothing_ is going to go wrong. I promise." Lucas assured her. "Look, right now, they're probably somewhere having a nice lunch together, maybe she's gonna take him to go see a movie later. Everything over there is _under control_."

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"_Sawyer_!" Peyton chastised. "I told you not to jump on the couch. I don't think you're mother would appreciate it."

"I told you already. Mama lets me do it!"

"Yeah, sure. Just like she lets you eat ice cream for breakfast _and _lunch." She muttered under her breath.

"And _dinner_ too!" Sawyer added, surprising Peyton, who had thought he hadn't heard that.

Suddenly, Sawyer plopped down onto the cushions, looking a bit…_green_, if Peyton could say so. "Uhh, I don't feel so good."

"Hm, I wonder why…" She shook her head. "I think now, you should sit down and relax and _not _jump up and down like a little monkey, and act more like a, I don't know, five-year-old boy."

"But that's no fun."

And now Peyton understood what Brooke meant when she said he was _always_ energetic _all the time_. This kid seemed to _never _slow down.

"Come on, buddy, what do you want to do?"

He opened his mouth, ready for an answer, but Peyton knew better and cut him off.

"And it _cannot_ be eat more ice cream and then jump up and down on the couch again, because we are _not_ staying cooped up in this house all day long."

"Hmm." He murmured, seemingly deep in thought. Suddenly, his face lit up, and Peyton was actually curious to see what he came up with. "We could…go to Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan's house to eat ice cream and jump on _their_ couches."

"Sawyer…" She resisted the urge to start laughing. "_Come on_. There has got to be something that you want to do. The park? The beach?"

"I _always_ go there with you. That's _boring_."

"Uhh…fine." She replied, mentally crossing off those two places in her mind. "…How about…the mall?"

"The _mall_?" Sawyer asked in disgust. "I'm not a _girl_."

"Well I know that, Sawyer." She laughed. "I was thinking more along the lines of that new arcade they opened in there."

"Ohh." He nodded. "That actually sounds like fun."

Peyton grinned. Finally she was getting something right.

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"So how's everything going over there?" Brooke asked into the phone.

When Lucas approached her, he rolled his eyes with a smile. This was like her _fifth_ time calling _so far_.

"_It's good_." Peyton said through the phone, trying to top the loud noise in the background.

"It's loud." The brunette noticed. "Where are you guys?"

"_Oh, we're trying out the new arcade in the mall_."

"Alright, can I talk to Sawyer?" Things seemed to be going well, but she really just wanted to hear his voice for the extra assurance.

She could hear Peyton ask the boy to come to the phone, and what came out of Sawyer's mouth surprised her.

"_No! I talked to her a hundred times already! I wanna play more games_!"

"_Uh, Brooke, I don't think he wants to come to the phone right now. He seems content with these video games. Maybe you should try again in a little bit._"

Brooke sighed. At least she knew he was alright and was having fun. "Yeah, sure. I'll talk to you later." She hung up the phone with a frown.

"What's wrong?" Lucas questioned.

"Sawyer wouldn't come to the phone!" She explained exasperated.

"Brooke…you spoke to him like a hundred times already." He laughed.

"Great!" She muttered. "Now you're starting to sound like him."

"Oh, calm down, pretty girl. Everything's fine. _Relax_." He dropped a kiss onto her forehead. "Why don't you go get changed and ready? I'm taking you out to dinner in a little while, and I expect you to be ready in an hour…and knowing how long it takes for you to get ready…"

"Oh, shut up." She pushed him, watching as a smirk formed on his lips.

"Love you, too, pretty girl."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved her hand as she continued walking to the bathroom in their suite.

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"I'm all out of tokens, Peyton." Sawyer informed her holding his hand out, expecting more.

"That was like twenty dollars worth of tokens, bud." Peyton told him, amazed that they'd been in the place for less than forty five minutes.

"_And_?"

"Alright, stay _right here_. I mean it, do not move _an inch_."

Peyton pushed through the crowded place, a few feet over, to get to the machine so she could get more tokens for Sawyer to use for the games.

She searched her bag for the money Brooke had left, pulling out a ten, placing it in the machine, and waiting for the coins to come out. When it did, forty-something of them poured out, and Peyton scooped them up in both hands, dropping a few as she did so.

"Shoot." She mumbled, bending down to pick them up, of course dropping even more in the process. She turned around, hoping to get Sawyer to help her, but when she turned around, her eyes darting to the place she had told him to stand in, not moving the slightest inch, she could not find the small, blonde haired boy she'd been left in charge of for the day. Her heart pounded from inside of her, beating at a rate that was too fast to be even considered healthy, as she called his name out loud.

"Sawyer? Sawyer?!" She got louder with each time, and yet she got nothing in return. "Sawyer Scott?!"

She saw crowds of people, tons of kids running around, but not him.

Bumping into people, and pushing to get through, she turned her head in every direction.

"Excuse me, have you seen a little blonde boy…?" She'd even resorted to asking, but every time the people would just shake their heads slightly and keep on going.

She looked ahead and saw the entrance to the mall, and the panic inside her grew even greater. Had he gone out into the mall? Into the even _more_ crowded environment?

"Oh, god." She placed a hand on her head, feeling extremely dizzy and lightheaded, knowing she probably was now walking around looking as pale as a ghost.

She ran into the mall in hopes of finding a security guard somewhere along the perimeters of the arcade.

She spotted one and frantically ran up to him, looking completely and totally frazzled.

"Is everything alright, miss?"

"No." Peyton sighed deeply, going straight into her problem. "I was with a little boy, five-years-old, blonde hair, blue eyes, around this tall…we were in the arcade and I lost him…I looked for him in every inch of that place and I _can't_ find him. His name is Sawyer Keith Scott." She finished off, out of breath.

The security guard took his walkie-talkie and mumbled a few incoherent words into it before facing her again. "I'm sorry, miss…what is your name?"

"Peyton Sawyer." She answered annoyed, not understanding why they hadn't already started searching for Sawyer rather than asking questions about herself.

The person on the other end, whoever that may have been, answered back with more words she really couldn't make out.

The guy eyed her suspiciously. "Um, Miss Sawyer, I'm gonna need you to come with me."

"What?" Her eyes widened. "No, _no_. I need you to look for that little boy, my friends trusted me with him and-"

"Miss Sawyer, you're only going to make this harder on yourself. I'll repeat what I just said…I need you to come with me. _Now_."

She knew she wasn't going to be getting out of this one. Oh, what did she get herself into?

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**A/N – Uh oh! What's going on?? Well, I can't tell you that! Lol…**

**Honestly, this cliffhanger ending was a surprise for me as well…'cause I had a totally different ending for this chapter, but halfway through writing it I was like "waitttt…this would actually be pretty interesting…" so there you have it!**

**Anonymous reviewers: **

mel – Hey! Thanks so much for the review! I am excited for season 7 'cause I actually do like brulian…brucas will always be my number one favorite, but I like Julian and I'm happy that Brooke is finally getting what she's always wanted…Brulian are pretty awesome if you give them a chance lol. Anyways, like this chapter? Let me know :)

**Review pleaseee! :)**

**--Melissa**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N – If I said sorry, it still wouldn't change the fact that this hasn't been updated for a good couple of months would it? Well just know that I am sorry and I blame the lack of updates to school and writers block – and oh yeah the fact that I think the show is going extremely downhill. Stated plainly: The show sucks! Last night's episode further proved this. Anyways, hope you can forgive and try to enjoy this chapter. **

**Thanks: **onetreefan, BDavis427, ReadingRed, Mosie1213, dolcegrazia, TivaxBrulianxKibbs, tanya2byour21, juicetroop82, babyd21, koumi11, RealSelflessLove, Long Live BRUCAS, JasMiaka, dianehermans, idoloveyou, Princesakarlita411, fantasy427 **and **Mel.

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 16 –

It was a funny thing, Brooke thought. That feeling she felt in the pit of her stomach. It was the feeling she always got when something was off. And she didn't know what it was, but she knew there was just _something_. Something that just wasn't _right_.

"Brooke, you haven't touched your dinner." Lucas, apparently, was also aware.

To satisfy him, she picked up her fork and played around with the not even half-eaten dish.

"Brooke…"

"It's just…she hasn't called back. And she's not picking up her phone."

"Well…maybe she just can't hear her phone wherever they are at the moment." He tried to reason with her. "I mean, you have spoken to her _eight_ times already tonight." He managed to get a small out of her. "I'm sure everything's perfectly fine. Besides, you _promised_ me you would try to enjoy the evening."

"And I am trying."

"Not hard enough."

Brooke sighed, knowing she was not going to be winning this battle. "Fine. I will put my phone away in my bag."

"_Off_?"

"Luke…" She caught his glance and nodded. "Fine. In my bag. _And_ _off._ Happy?"

* * *

Peyton's heart beat faster with each step she took as she followed the tough-looking security guard.

Brooke and Lucas had trusted her. They had left their most precious, valuable possession in her hands for a few hours, and Peyton couldn't understand how it all had fallen downhill in a matter of a few seconds.

She glanced at her phone again, realizing she had missed four more calls from Brooke. She realized it wasn't fair, leaving Brooke hanging like that. But what she also realized was that if she had picked up the phone, Brooke would for a fact ask to speak to Sawyer, and Peyton would eventually have to reveal that that wouldn't be possible considering Sawyer was MIA at the moment. And Peyton just knew that with that revelation, Brooke would have by then grabbed Lucas by the arm, raced to the airport and bought two plane tickets back to Tree Hill. And she couldn't have that happen. Because she wanted to let Brooke know that she was able to be trusted; that Brooke hadn't made a mistake leaving Sawyer in her care.

And besides, she had it under control...Sawyer couldn't have wandered off too far.

Or so she hoped.

The walk across the crowded mall felt like an eternity for the blonde who was making her way over to the security headquarters. Every time she passed a small blonde-haired boy, Peyton would turn her head quickly to take a glance, only to be disappointed to find the child not to be Sawyer.

The security guard cleared his throat and gave a disapproving look. "Miss Sawyer, I take it this is the young boy you are looking for."

Relief washed over as Sawyer was sitting in the small room, playing with a walkie-talkie.

"Sawyer!"

Sawyer dropped the device and shook his head at Peyton. "You left me!" He accused.

Her jaw dropped slightly as disbelief washed over. "_I _left _you_? Oh, no, don't even try to pull that, Sawyer."

He kicked his feet against the couch and shrugged. "I wanna go home."

* * *

Her cheeks were red, blushed from the embarrassment she had just gone through. She held the little boy's hand tighter than ever as they walked to their car in the parking lot.

"I just _can't_ believe this. I have done nothing but try to give you a nice, fun day and this is what I get? Now your mother is worried sick. She left _four_ messages, Sawyer. And her phone's off and…" She ranted but abruptly stopped. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Sitting in the car." Sawyer answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Not in the front seat you're not."

Peyton rolled her eyes as she saw his small pout begin to form. The pout she'd become accustomed with the whole day she'd spent with him. If Sawyer wanted something, he got it. And it was pretty clear Lucas and Brooke were wrapped around his tiny little fingers.

"But mama lets me-"

Peyton held her hand up, sighing. "I don't even want to hear it." There was no protesting this time. "Just put your seatbelt on."

She walked around the other side of the car, quickly got in, and then they were on their way.

"When you get home, you're going straight to bed. No t.v., no playstation, no wii. _Nothing_."

"That's not fair!"

"Well, buddy, I got news for you. Life's not fair. Didn't your mother ever tell you that?"

"No. 'Cause she's nicer than you."

As much as the comment stung, Peyton tried to push it aside and focused on driving. And it got her to thinking how much of a job it truly was to look after Sawyer. It had only been _one day_ and Brooke had basically been doing it voluntarily for _five years_.

"Oh and look who it is." She turned to Sawyer, but Sawyer wasn't having it as he sat, arms crossed over, staring off into the road.

"_Peyton! Thank god you finally picked up."_

"Brooke, I'm sorry, I didn't hear my phone."

"She's lying!" Sawyer yelled from the background.

"_What was that?"_

"Uh, nothing. Look, Brooke, I'm gonna have to call you back. We're actually on our way home, I'm driving right now."

"I want to talk to my mama."

"_Um, okay, but-"_

"-I'll talk to you in a few minutes." She quickly spoke and hung up the phone.

"I wanted to talk to her." Sawyer stated.

"Well so did I, but your screaming made it kind of hard."

Her tone and attitude made him frown more and more until eventually, much to Peyton's grief, Sawyer was full on sobbing.

"I wanna go home!" He cried, his shriek causing pain to her ears. "I want mommy!"

And in that moment Peyton instantly regretted being so harsh. He was only a kid, and maybe she just hadn't thought that over before she spoke.

"Sawyer, I'm sorry, look. I'm sorry." She tried to soothe him. "When we get home, I'll let you call mom, and play on your wii. Whatever you want, okay? I'm not mad at you anymore."

Nothing seemed to work. "Well I'm still mad at you!" He wailed.

"Oh, god, please, Sawyer. I can't concentrate with you screaming like this. I need to drive, I need to get us home, so please, I just need you to calm down and-" She had turned to face him, rubbing his back, stroking his head full of blonde hair, just trying _anything_ to get him to stop.

And she knew something was wrong.

Something was wrong when his cries suddenly stopped.

When the blinding lights appeared instantly out of nowhere.

When the blaring of a car horn was the only sound she heard besides silence.

Then there was nothing.

* * *

"Something's wrong, Luke." Twenty minutes later, Brooke paced back and forth, her phone clasped tightly between her hands. "She told me she'd call me _right_ back. And Sawyer, he just didn't sound _okay_."

Her heart skipped a beat when the phone began to ring, and her eyes doubled in worry, recognizing a number she never _ever _wanted to see. It was only supposed to be there for emergencies. Just in case anything was to happen with Sawyer and his heart because they never could be too sure.

"Luke…" Brooke spoke in worry. Her voice cracked and her eyes watered.

What the hell was going on?

* * *

**A/N – Short and really bad. I know. I was in no way satisfied with my writing in this chapter. I had a really hard time writing it to be honest and I bet that shows. But you guys have waited long enough. If anyone's still reading, tell me what you thought. Thanks!**

**--Melissa **


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N – Told ya the wait wouldn't be as long ;)**

**Thanks: **dolcegrazia, TivaxBrulianxKibbs, Upcoming Star, liverpoolss, koumi11, Princesakarlita411, tanya2byour21, Long Live BRUCAS, Mel, juicetroop82, tp404, mickeiblue, ReadingRed, dianehermans, Love me some Julian, courtneylovejason, BDavis427 **and** Mosie1213.

**Hope everyone's been enjoying the holiday season =D**

* * *

Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 17 –

"I knew it." She was all over the place. First she was standing, pacing, then sitting, and now standing once more. "I just knew this would happen and this is why I said no in the first place."

Lucas picked his head up from his hands and sighed, trying to think of _something_ optimistic. "We haven't heard anything yet so-"

"How can you expect any of this to be _okay_?" She asked, deflated and hopeless.

* * *

_Her eyes struggled to open, trying to make sense of the flashing lights and loud sirens. She felt a sharp pain run across her forehead and could even feel the warm, maroon colored liquid run down. _

_Peyton Sawyer was confused._

_Her head pounded as she tried to make sense of what was going on, and as the paramedics surrounding her whispered words of encouragement, telling her she was okay, she couldn't help but stare at the other stretcher a few feet away._

_There were more medical technicians over that way, and when they moved away, ready to move the person onto the ambulance, the sight nearly made Peyton sick._

"_Sawyer…" She moaned, catching a glimpse of the poor, weak boy. But she was cut off by a paramedic telling her to close her eyes; she'd feel better. _

_Somehow, she just didn't believe him._

* * *

"_Luke…"_

"_What is it? What's wrong?"_

"_It's Sawyer." Brooke cried. "He's not okay, I just know it." Shakily she replied, and then answered the call, frightened as to what awaited her._

"_H-Hello." Her voice trembled._

"_Is Mr. Scott there? This is an important call regarding Sawyer Scott."_

* * *

"I just…have to be optimistic about it."

"_Optimistic_?" She asked incredulously. "Lucas, he's unconscious! It seems like that hasn't even crossed your mind."

He sighed heavily. "Of course it has." He then shook his head. "How can you even say that?"

"Well maybe if you hadn't suggested leaving him with Peyton, we wouldn't even be here."

Perplexed, he stood. "Oh, so now this is _my_ fault? I'm the one that drove recklessly; I'm the one that drove into a car going in the other direction?" Angry, he spoke. "That was me, _right_?"

"Luke." Brooke tried to calm him down; ease the tension in the room. "I didn't mean that. I'm sorry." She desperately offered. "But, how come the doctors haven't come out to tell us anything yet?" Her voice cracked, as she bit down on her lip, attempting to prevent sobs that would surely erupt.

"I don't know, pretty girl." He sunk his head low.

The couple remained in silence for a few seconds – the hospital's eerie silence.

Finally, Lucas picked his head up. "Can you come and sit with me?"

Whatever strength she had within her managed to get out a small smile. "Of course." She whispered meekly.

She took the seat beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder. He automatically wrapped his arms around her and dropped a kiss onto her head. She took his hands and with hers rested them upon her pregnant stomach.

She closed her eyes, content listening to the rhythms of their breaths. "Why does all this stuff keep happening to us?"

He didn't know. He had absolutely no idea why they had continued to be put through hell. And it was a good question because he _wanted _to know. He and Brooke had dealt with so much that they _deserved_ better. And he just wished that he could give her better than what was happening.

"It's going to be okay." Was all Lucas could say. And he wasn't even sure about that.

* * *

Lucas couldn't remember how long it was before a doctor came out to speak to them. The waiting was a killer. And when he saw the doctor round the corner, he heard Brooke let out a huge sigh of relief. He wished she hadn't though because there was absolutely _nothing_ to be relieved about.

Nothing at all.

They both immediately stood up, acknowledging the presence of the doctor and eager for news.

"What's going on? How is he?"

The doctor frowned and Brooke immediately grasped Lucas's hand, fully aware nothing good was about to come out of the doctor's mouth.

"Well, we managed to get your son into a stable condition-"

"-So he's okay?" Brooke cut in.

"Brooke, babe, let the doctor finish." He too was just as scared and just wanted to hear what was going on.

The doctor went on. "At the moment, he seems to be hanging in there. However the severity of his injuries is what concerns us. He's also a recipient of a transplant heart which makes things even more difficult. We presume his body went into shock, and with the force of the airbag from the front seat-"

"What? He was…he was in the back seat, in his car seat. He's _always_ in his car seat."

The doctor looked slightly confused. "When the paramedics arrived at the scene, Sawyer was clearly in the front. The airbag was crushing his small body, which greatly contributes to the problems he's facing now. Had he _been _in his car seat, I'd say he'd come out with much smaller injuries. Peyton seems to have only suffered a head concussion and needs a few stitches on her forehead."

"_A few stitches_?" Brooke sounded disgusted. "I just…I can't." She walked away leaving Lucas and the doctor.

"I'm sorry." The doctor offered. "Times like these, we can just hope for the best."

"Yeah." Lucas agreed. "Look, doctor, is there any possibility that his…that his heart may stop?"

"Mr. Scott, that's high possibility with any injured person that walks through our doors. There are hundreds of things that can happen. But I assure that every single doctor helping your child is doing their best to prevent all these things. I looked at your son's medical history. You've got yourself a fighter."

Lucas nodded slightly. "That he definitely is."

"Right now we're not saying anything. Things could go either which way. So I suggest you just wait, hope for the best, and I'll come out to update you soon."

"Thank you."

Lucas watched as the doctor walked down the long corridor and then turned to face his wife. She sat, sobbing, her face buried in her hands. He wanted to go right up next to her and cry too. But he knew he couldn't do that. Because he needed to be strong. Brooke had been strong with him when he needed that extra strength years ago when Sawyer needed a heart. It was his turn now to help her. He knew what it felt like when everyone else would say to be hopeful just because that was _all_ _they could say_. But Brooke, when she said it, when she said Sawyer would be okay, somehow, he _believed _her. He knew she really _meant it_. And though the situation now seemed extremely complicated and no one knew what would happen, he knew that if he and Brooke stuck together, they'd be _okay_.

"Pretty girl, he's going to be okay." He sat next to her and pulled her into his arms.

She picked her head up, giving him a sight of what a broken mess she had become. "How do you know?"

"Because he's our son, Brooke. He's _so_ strong. And you know that. I _know_ you know that. This is Sawyer Keith Scott we're talking about. Our little _miracle_ baby. The baby who _fought all odds_. He's _different _than most children."

She cried even harder and buried her face in his neck. "I love you so much." She cried. "And I'm so scared."

"I know. I am too." He stroked her hair, and held her tightly. "But we're going to be okay."

He rocked her back and forth, soothing her the best that he could. It was moments later they heard footsteps coming closer and closer. With a few short words they knew exactly who it was.

"I am so sorry."

The words fell onto their ears like poison, and Brooke shot her head up, her eyes filled with fury.

She wiped her tears. "Don't you dare. Don't you fucking dare." She stood up, ripping away from Lucas's grasp. "You…this is all your fault!"

The blonde stepped back, slightly frightened and surprised. She wore a bandage wrapped around her head, and with the exception of that white gauze, she looked perfectly fine.

"Tell me how this is fair. You get to walk out of here, with a tiny scratch. And mine son is lying there, quite possibly on his _death bed_! How the hell is this fair, Peyton?!"

"Brooke, calm down." Lucas tried to get her to sit back down. "She's not worth it."

"I _hate_ you. I _hate you so much_. We _trusted_ you. We trusted you with the _one_ thing that meant the _most_ to us. How could you be so _careless_? The front seat? The _fucking_ front seat! He's a tiny five-year-old child, Peyton! You _better_ hope he's okay. 'Cause if he's not, I'm not sure _you_ will be either." She threatened pointing her finger in her face, outraged. "Just…_get out of my face._"

With a final huff, Brooke walked away; too angry to even breathe correctly. Lucas quickly followed after her.

He found her standing, clutching the wall; her face looking a bit pale.

"Brooke, are you okay?" Concern rose in his voice.

"Yeah…I'm…I'm fine."

He wasn't buying it though. And his fears were later confirmed when she doubled over in pain.

"Brooke!" He rushed to her side, supporting her body so she wouldn't fall.

"It hurts, Luke." She cried, clutching her stomach. "The baby…something's wrong." She looked down towards the floor, feeling dizzy and nearly fainted when she saw blood drip from her leg to the floor. "Lucas…"

His eyes drew to where hers were focused. "I need help!" He yelled out, still holding her tightly in his arms. "Somebody help!"

"It's too early. It's too early." Brooke kept mumbling over and over again.

Within seconds, floods of nurses and doctors crowded around the two.

And once again, the question arose in Brooke's mind.

_Why does all this stuff keep happening to us?_

* * *

**A/N – Don't hate me!**

**So what'd you think of the chapter? Was Brooke too harsh on Peyton, spot on, or too easy on her? Let me know your thoughts!**

**Anonymous reviewers:**

Mel – Thanks! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story. Yeah, the ending for the last chapter was pretty bad, but what about this one? Worse huh?? Lol I just love cliffhangers! :) Thanks again and let me know what you thought of this chapter!

tp404 – Thanks for the review! I would never neglect this story, I enjoy writing it too much! Let me know what you thought of this chapter please :)

**Thanks everyone! Pleaseeee review :)**

**--Melissa**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N – HAPPY HOLIDAYS and Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it. =) **

**Consider this a present because I think this is a quick update!**

**Thanks:** Lauren, Love me some Julian, BDavis427, Mosie1213, dolcegrazia, ReadingRed, Kimberlli, courtneylovejason, Princesakarlita411, RealSelflessLove, Long Live BRUCAS, dianehermans, koumi11, TivaxBrulianxKibbs **and **Julialein.

**Thanks soooo much!! =D**

* * *

Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 18 –

Lucas sat, his head hung low.

He couldn't _understand_. He couldn't even think to process _one _logical reason for why everything had to happen to them. It was just one thing after another.

First it was Sawyer, and then it was the baby.

The blood – it had run down her leg, and onto the floor, and he honestly had never seen Brooke look so terrified in her life. She had wanted the baby so bad; at first the timing hadn't been that great, but that's because it just took a while to get used to. The baby was going to be a part of her and a part of him.

At least it was supposed to be.

Now the baby was nothing more than a lost dream.

He pictured Brooke, crying, screaming, paled and scared, being pulled away by a doctor. And she was screaming for Lucas to come, but he couldn't, and a part of him was thankful for that. He didn't want to have to see Brooke in a state as such.

It was only an hour later when a doctor came looking for him. The baby, _their_ baby, was gone. Brooke was sleeping at that point because they had to sedate her; her cries were too loud and she was being impossible. He felt at peace though, at least knowing she was resting now, and maybe in her dreams their baby actually got to live a wonderful, long life.

He asked about Sawyer and wasn't surprised when he couldn't get an answer.

He was shaken out of his thoughts when he felt a hand clap him on his back. Looking up he realized it was Nathan and Haley, whom he had called fifteen minutes ago.

"Thanks for coming you guys." He stood up and Haley immediately embraced her long time best friend.

"Why didn't you call us sooner?"

"Things have just been so crazy." He replied sadly. "I can't even wrap my head around this."

"How are all they?"

"Well I can't even give you an answer on Sawyer; the doctors aren't telling me a thing. I guess it's better that way, no news is good news, right?"

Nathan nodded encouragingly. "Sure it is, man. And Brooke and the baby? How are they?"

"I think you mean just _Brooke_."

Haley gasped. "Oh no, Luke…She didn't…"

Lucas nodded slowly. "Brooke had a miscarriage. I couldn't tell you over the phone…it's still surreal. I mean all of this is. Just yesterday our family was okay. We were happy. And now we're down one, possibly two if Sawyer-…I just can't…"

"Lucas, everything will be okay." Haley leaned in and hugged him tightly. "We're here for you."

* * *

Peyton sat outside, letting the cold air brush her skin. What had started out as a normal day seemed to take a complete turnaround. She couldn't even describe what had happened. It was a careless mistake; taking her eyes off the road. It was an error in judgment, agreeing to let him sit in the front despite even her own protests. If she had just fought a little more, paid more attention, she wouldn't be left feeling guilty. She wouldn't have caused such grief to Lucas and Brooke…the two people she knew didn't deserve it.

* * *

Lucas quickly wiped his eyes as he saw Sawyer's doctor rush towards him. Standing up, he met him halfway.

"What is it?" He questioned.

"We found some internal bleeding in Sawyer…particularly in his heart. And we need to perform surgery right away, otherwise he's going to lose red blood cell circulation."

Lucas stood frozen, immediately taken back to when Sawyer was an infant and needed surgery. This couldn't be happening again. He had survived it then, but it was still a risky procedure regardless.

"Mr. Scott?" The doctor prompted after a moment of silence. "We need you to O.K. this procedure."

"I…is…is this the only possible way?"

The doctor just nodded.

"And we need to prep him as soon as possible if this is what you want."

He closed his eyes. "Just make sure he's going to be okay." And with that, he walked back over to his best friends and buried his face in his hands. When did life get so complicated?

* * *

It was an hour later they told him that Brooke had just woken up. She was asking for Lucas.

He didn't want to go…he didn't want to have to face her; to break it to her that it was true, their baby had died. But Nathan and Haley persisted that he did, so he put on a brave face and walked down the hospital's long hallway to her room.

He knocked gently on the door and heard her raspy voice invite him in.

"Hey, pretty girl." He said ever so softly. "How're you feeling?" He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his.

"Like a failure." She mumbled and couldn't even meet his eyes.

"Brooke, what happened _wasn't _your fault." He immediately tried to reassure her as he could hear quiet sobs begin to rack her body.

She just shook her head and held back tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." She insisted firmly. "Not at all."

And he now knew she was trying to pretend it never happened. "Brooke-"

"How's Sawyer?" She cut him off.

He sighed deeply and wrapped his arms around her. "Not so good, babe." He too then found himself fighting back tears as his voice cracked midsentence. "They're doing surgery now."

"_Surgery_?" Her voice rose as her frown deepened.

He nodded sadly. "Nathan and Haley are here…do you want to see them?"

She wiped her eyes and sniffled, shaking her head. "I actually want to be alone right now."

"_Oh_…okay." Lucas said, sounding slightly surprised. "I'll be outside in the waiting room then. If you need anything, you tell the nurse to come get me, okay?"

All he got was a slight nod.

"I love you." He told her, and this time, he got not reply at all.

He dropped a quick kiss on the side of her head and got up, walking towards the door. When he turned around, his hand resting on the door knob, he saw that she had turned her head and was staring out the window, seeming emotionless. Quietly, he then exited.

* * *

She felt numb and void, drained of any and all energy and feeling. And she _absolutely_ hated it.

She heard the door open and groaned. "I told you I didn't want to…_see anyone_." She was surprised to find Peyton standing by the door awkwardly.

"Hi…I was hoping we could talk."

Brooke shook her head in disgust. "Now is _not_ the time, Peyton."

"I know but-"

"Do you know I lost my baby, Peyton?" She questioned angrily. "Just a few hours ago, after I nearly fainted in the waiting room…that _small_, _incredible_ life that was beginning to form inside me…_it's gone_."

"Brooke, I'm so sorry-"

"You see, I don't think you are. Because that's the _second _time I've heard you say that tonight, and guess what? My other child is still in critical condition. He's in fucking surgery, Peyton!" Her blood boiled and her mind raced with thoughts. "A few days ago, I knew what it felt like to be _so happy_ and _so content_ with life. Everything was _fine_. And it takes one shitty night like this for it to all go down the drain. I couldn't even _look _at Lucas when he came in here. I had to tell him to _leave_. He told me that Sawyer was in surgery and the sick thing is I just _don't know_ what to _feel anymore_…Because ever since you walked back into our lives a few months ago, it's like I've been living a _nightmare_."

"Well that's why I'm leaving." Peyton mumbled. "I realized coming back here wasn't good."

"Of course it had to take a tragedy for you to wake up."

"I honestly don't know what I was thinking, okay?"

"With coming back here? Or with Sawyer?"

"With both!" Peyton shrugged. "I guess I thought that by coming back here I'd get to be a part of his life…and I was, and he's the most amazing kid…but I realize that's because he has you as his mother…it's too late to start fixing mistakes that are permanently damaged, and I get that now. When I left here all those years ago, I didn't realize that I was leaving him forever." The blonde blinked back tears. "But now…now I realize. He's gonna pull through, Brooke. Because he has you and Lucas to fight for. You've raised him to be so _strong_. And I really just have to thank you for that. You're a selfless person, Brooke Davis. And you deserve the _best_. Which is why I'm signing over my parental rights. You're already his mother, but it's going to be official now. I'm just sorry I didn't see it before."

She slowly walked towards the door, away from the woman who she used to confide in about everything and anything…the woman who'd been raising her son…the woman she knew would never let anyone, especially Lucas and Sawyer, down.

"_Thank you_." She said one last time, tearfully, waving. "Bye, Brooke."

* * *

"She'll open up. Just give her some time." Haley reassured Lucas.

"Yeah, man." Nathan added. "People just need to cope in their own ways…Hey, Luke?"

He looked up in response.

"What happened to Peyton? Where is she? 'Cause I'd really like to give her a piece of my mind."

"Nathan…" Haley sighed.

"I honestly don't know. And I don't really care." Lucas spoke, and as he finished, he saw the doctor walking up to them.

He took a deep breath, ready to face the news.

He just hoped things wouldn't be getting any worse than they already had.

* * *

**A/N – Another cliffhangerrrr! :p I just live off of them lol**

**Anonymous reviewer thanks:**

Lauren – Thanks for the review! I'm glad to hear you like the story. Happy Holidays!! :)

**Happy Holidays everyoneee! Hope you're getting everything you wished for =D**

**Please review! Thankssssssss!**

**--Melissa**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N – Hey everyone! =)**

**Thanks: **koumi11, dianehermans, Princesakarlita411, ReadingRed, IfYouKnew, Upcoming Star, Mosie1213, TivaxBrulianxKibbs, Brucasfan23, Long Live BRUCAS, Kimberlli, Sophia, Mary **and **BDavis427.

**Enjoy this short, slightly filler-ish chapter. **

* * *

Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 19 –

Lucas stood slightly numb, left feeling that if the doctor didn't say anything within the next few seconds, he would fall on the floor and faint out of anxiety. Waiting never settled well with him, especially when it dealt with something so close to his heart.

_His son_.

His son, who seemed to be battling health issues his whole life, yet still managed to be this incredible being that Lucas and Brooke both absolutely adored.

The doctor cleared his throat before proceeding. "We had a tough time at first; prepping him and such because it is an even riskier procedure given his existing heart problems. But he managed to pull through."

Lucas felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he looked behind him to where Nathan and Haley were smiling with tearful eyes.

"His recovery will by no means be easy." The doctor continued. "But it seems as though he'll be just fine. He's being moved to recovery now and then after they get him all set up there, you can go see him."

Lucas watched as the doctor walked away, and a smile crept onto his face. Yes, it was true, his day had been complete hell, but hearing that Sawyer was okay; that he _once more_ was able to beat his odds and come through; that was what made Lucas Scott's day a whole lot better.

"I…I have to go tell Brooke." He quickly mumbled to Nathan and Haley before heading down the hallway, towards the elevator so he could go up to Brooke's room.

He walked down the long hallway to her room. "Brooke?" He stopped abruptly noticing his fiancée was not in the room. She had just been there a few hours ago but instead it seemed a nurse was there, folding up clean linens and placing them on the bed for a new patient to soon use.

"Mr. Scott, right?"

Lucas nodded apprehensively towards the nurse who called his name. He found it kind of pathetic that nurses and doctors were beginning to learn his name because in the short amount of time they had arrived in the hospital, they had had two incidents to deal with, and for each one, Lucas pestered them for answers.

"Ms. Davis just left this past hour. The doctor told her everything was clear and she discharged herself."

"_Clear_? She had a miscarriage _today_."

The nurse simply shrugged. "She opted for a D&C, the doctor gave and prescribed pain medication after she woke up from that, and then asked if she was up to leaving." She explained curtly. "She said _yes_."

"_Unbelievable_." He gritted through his death, banging his fist on the doorframe of the room before turning around, back down the long hallway he was simply just getting so _sick_ of.

* * *

Brooke slowly stepped out of the taxi, mumbling a quick thank you before closing the yellow car door behind her.

She knew leaving so quickly would make Lucas mad. She couldn't quite explain why she did it. Because she knew that she wasn't physically ready to leave, and she _definitely_ wasn't _emotionally _ready either.

But she couldn't see either of those terms agreeing with her for a while, and maybe that was why she had left.

Staying there meant dealing with the loss of their baby face on.

And it also meant dealing with Sawyer. Peyton had finally backed off, which was what Brooke wanted all along. But what was the use if Sawyer wasn't going to be with them anymore?

And those alone were two things too many.

Walking slowly into her house, she pushed the feeling of discomfort and pain aside and nearly threw up when she came to the fridge.

Her eyes were drawn to one thing in particular. A small, simple, black and white photo tacked onto the crowded fridge with a magnet amongst numerous pictures of Sawyer.

It represented their new chapter; the growth of their family.

Now all it seemed to evoke was _pain _and it made her feel like a complete _failure_.

After reaching down to her stomach that had not gotten to grow to its fullest, she swiftly grabbed the sonogram off the fridge in one motion and threw it on the floor.

It was all too much.

* * *

"Do you want us to go look for her? Call her? Anything, Luke." Haley graciously offered.

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I think that'd probably be the _worst_ thing right now. Maybe I should just give her some time to cool off; let everything sink in. I mean Sawyer's fine, and I just wish I could tell her that; save her some heartache, but she _did_ ask for some time, and I respect that…But anyways, you guys should head home. You've been here for hours and you're probably exhausted…"

Haley started to protest, but Nathan cut in. "Hales, you need your rest." He gestured lightly to her pregnant stomach. "But Luke – if anything, and I mean _anything_ happens, or if you need help, let us know. Okay?"

"Of course. Thanks, guys." He hugged each of them and watched as they exited the room.

He took a moment to recompose himself and then he too left, ready to go to recovery to see his son.

When he got there, he instantly froze. Sawyer looked banged around; a few scratches on his head and bruises on his arms. Underneath his hospital gown, Lucas presumed his chest was wrapped in bandaging in hopes to speed up the healing of his surgical wound.

"Hey, buddy." His voice was a whisper as he decided to take the seat beside the bed. "I don't know if you can hear me…" He sighed heavily, reaching out to grab his son's lifeless hand. "But you know, when I was hurt a long time ago, I had people come talk to me. And I think it helped…so…if you can hear me, I'm waiting for you Sawy. I'm gonna be right here when you open your eyes. I know you can do this."

* * *

With another knock on the door, Brooke groaned. She wasn't in the mood. Not to talk to anyone and certainly not to see anyone.

"Brooke." Finally the person on the other side of the door spoke. "Please open up. It's Nathan."

She was going to continue ignoring him but the pleading in his voice reasoned with her to get up and let him in.

In doing so, she couldn't make eye contact with him. "Don't you have a spare key?"

"Yeah." The dark haired man shrugged. "But I wanted to know that you were alive. I mean god, Brooke, way to give everybody a scare."

She shook her head, holding back tears. "You don't know _anything_, Nathan."

"You're right." He agreed. "I don't know anything. I have _no clue_ how you feel and what you're going through. But there's somebody who does, Brooke…" He stepped closer towards her and she moved further back, away from him. "Luke." He stated simply. "…He's in with Sawyer now, and I know he'd really appreciate it if you were by his side right now." He tried giving her a small smile. "You gotta talk to him, Brooke. Locking yourself up, doing what I found you doing; it isn't going to change anything that's happened."

She glanced up at him at his words, noting how true they really were.

"We all care so much about you, Brooke. And we hate seeing you hurt. You're usually the strong one." Nathan proceeded to walk towards her and enveloped her in a hug.

After that, Brooke could no longer hold her tears and wept into shoulder.

As she stood, holding one of her closest friends tightly, she cried. "What if I don't know how to be strong anymore?"

* * *

**A/N – I feel this chapter is slow but also necessary for the story's progression. But I'll leave the thoughts up to you guys. **

**I really wanted to get this new chapter up before new years and I'm glad I was able to. **

**With that said, I want to wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR! ENJOY!!**

**--Melissa **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N – omg. This is bad. I haven't updated in god knows how long. Ugh I'm so sorry. This school year has just been crazy in terms of how much work I've been getting, but school is over now so yeah… I wouldn't be surprised if no one reads this anymore just because it's been forever. SORRY. For those that are still interested in this story, enjoy!**

* * *

Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 20 –

She didn't know how to be strong anymore.

She couldn't.

Besides, what was the point if in the end she gained nothing? It was all just a front, a façade that eventually, as she learned, would break and crumble. Weight after weight, pressure after pressure, and the cracks grew larger.

But, Brooke had to listen to Nathan. Something he had said managed to catch onto her, and suddenly nothing else mattered but being in the hospital with Lucas.

She was miserable, as was he, and misery loves company doesn't it?

No matter how screwed up things were, being apart was managing to solve absolutely nothing. So, maybe, just maybe, consoling each other would do some good.

After driving to the hospital with Nathan and receiving a hug from Haley, she stood outside Sawyer's hospital room. Looking through the window she saw Lucas sitting beside him, sleeping, and she figured that was a better time to enter than any.

Quietly slipping through the door, she took a seat opposite of the two and silently sat and watched.

It wasn't until 20 minutes later when a nurse came in to refill an i.v. bag that Lucas woke up.

"Oh…" His voice sounded distant. "How long were you here for?"

"Twenty minutes or so." She replied awkwardly with a shrug.

The nurse walked out and the air in the room suddenly turned colder and tenser.

"How are you?" Lucas knew how stupid of a question that truly was but he just couldn't think of anything else to possibly say.

Brooke's lips formed a tight line and she shook her head slightly. He could tell she was on the verge of tears, and not surprisingly, he was as well.

"Brooke, Sawyer _is _going to be okay. I _truly_ believe that."

"But the _baby_…" She sighed deeply as her breaths turned sharp. "I wanted it _so bad_…and…"

"It_ sucks_." Lucas cut in. "And it makes no sense and it _hurts like hell_. But I love you _so much_ and I know that our love is going to help us get through all of this crap because it _always does_. It's not going to be easy but we just have to stick together-"

"But I can't be strong for you anymore, Lucas. I don't even know how to be strong for myself. I can't pick up all the pieces like I did those five years ago; I can't magically make everything better." She cried, and Lucas, across the room from her, wanted to just go across to her and cry with her, holding her in his arms. But he wasn't sure if he could do that. He wasn't sure how she'd feel about that considering where they stood.

"And I don't want you to Brooke." He argued back. "I just want to be able to cry with you and hold you in my arms and tell you that everything will be okay. Because eventually it really all will. But the only way that can happen is if we work through this together."

She nodded her head and wiped her tears. "I want to do that." She whispered hoarsely.

He attempted a small smile in her direction and was glad to see when she got up from her chair and walked towards him. When she got to him, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her head into his neck. Instantly, wet tears soaked his shirt, as he rubbed her back soothingly.

"I'm sorry I lost the baby." She cried.

"Shh, shhh. It's not your fault." Lucas whispered to her, holding her tightly in her arms. "None of this is your fault."

She wanted to believe his words. She didn't want to feel guilty. It was the worse feeling on earth.

After a few moments of silence, she picked her head up from his chest, suddenly remembering something rather important.

"What is it, baby?" He asked, highly concerned at her sudden outburst that broke the silence in the small, cramped room.

"Peyton…" She began while playing with the hem of his shirt. "She…she left."

"What do you mean she _left_?"

No. There was no _way_ Peyton was able to run away from all that was going on without any remorse. As far as Lucas was concerned, that was _impossible_.

"She came into my room…and…she said he's mine. She's…_done_." And suddenly, as Brooke told Lucas, she finally realized what this truly all meant. Once the ink would dry on the documents, Peyton would no longer have a say in _anything_. She wouldn't be able to pull the stunt she had these past few months…_legally_ she wouldn't be able to. Suddenly that thought felt liberating.

Lucas let out a breath, sinking further back into the chair, gripping Brooke tighter than before. Slowly he replied, "Now all that's left to do is wait for our boy to wake up."

* * *

**A/N – Idk, maybe it's because I haven't updated in forever, but I feel this story running in circles lol. I am determined to finish it though! **

**Well at least brucas are slowly getting better, right? **

**This was a short chapter but I honestly hope I'm able to get a new one up soon. Those who are still reading, let me know what you think. **

**Thanksss **

**-Melissa **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N – Yes, this is an actual, real update. What a shocker. Writers block sucks, what can I say? But I am still as determined as ever to finish this! This chapter takes place a little over a month after the last. **

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 21 –

She had never felt so happy. A little over a month ago, this happiness had seemed nearly impossible. In fact, during that time, _everything_ was falling apart. And Brooke and Lucas had been left to sit back and just watch things disintegrate, left hopeless with nothing to do. Sawyer's recovery was slow, _extremely slow_, and the countless visits and nights spent sleeping at the hospital in uncomfortable chairs were definitely taking their toll.

But then something happened.

Sawyer woke up.

And that's when Brooke and Lucas realized they'd be okay after all. They had stuck together, and it had managed to pay off.

As Lucas drove with a content smile on his face, Brooke couldn't stop looking at Sawyer. He had his faced pressed to the car window and he just looked so excited to be taking in all of the surroundings. He thought he'd be stuck in the hospital's pediatric ward for the rest of his life.

"I can't wait to get home and sleep in my comfy bed!" He stated and grinned, expressing a sentiment he'd brought up numerous times since he found out he'd be released from the hospital.

Brooke couldn't wait either. The pure happiness that was displayed on the young boy's face was enough to leave her satisfied. But she couldn't wait to bring him home, back into his nice, safe bed, where she'd be able to tuck him in every night like she used to do before the accident.

Lucas laughed at Sawyer's cheerfulness. "Just take it easy though. Okay, bud?"

He just wanted to make sure Sawyer's transition back to home would go smoothly so he could return back into the normal lifestyle of the energetic five-year-old he used to be.

Lucas laughed, thinking back to twenty minutes prior when Sawyer was beyond ecstatic after realizing that he was able to leave the hospital in a wheel chair.

_With Sawyer's cute and lovable personality, there was no wonder why, during the month and a half he'd spent at the hospital, the recovery and pediatric nurses absolutely adored the young boy. Whenever they'd come in, whether it be to check on his surgical wound, change an I.V. or check his vitals, he'd always have a joke or a story to share. He was by far their favorite patient. _

_One of the nurses walked in, wheeling in a small wheel chair for him to be taken out in._

_The blonde child's eyes widened at this. "Is that for me?"_

"_Sure is." The nurse replied. "Hospital policy."_

_Lucas slowly and carefully helped his son off the hospital bed as the nurse handed the wheel chair over to Brooke. _

"_Mama." Sawyer looked up a Brooke with a wide smile. "Can we take this home with us? It's so cool!" He ran his hands along the wheels. _

_All Brooke could do was laugh. She absolutely adored this boy. And she was so very grateful that he was okay and would soon be returning to his normal, rambunctious self. In fact, he already had. _

"We're home." Lucas pulled into the driveway and Sawyer's eyes lit up.

He quickly unbuckled his car seat, anxious to see if all his toys were in the same places that he left them in.

"Whoa, slow down there buddy." Brooke quickly got out of her seat to help him.

"Mama, I got it!" The child insisted, though he still took hold of his mother's hand.

"You just got out of the hospital; I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Sawyer shook his head and Lucas laughed.

The three made their way up to the front door and when they opened it Sawyer's face lit up.

"Welcome home!" Cheered Nathan and Haley, walking up to the family to greet them with hugs.

"Wow, Aunt Haley, you're so big!" Sawyer exclaimed once he took notice of his aunt's large, pregnant stomach.

Everyone laughed and Haley smiled, rubbing her stomach. She was about to pop any day now.

"Why thank you, Sawyer. It's so good to see you too." She humored him.

He giggled and gave her a great hug. "I meant it in a good way."

"I know." She laughed, embracing him. "We missed you."

"Yeah, dude." Nathan hugged him next. "You totally left me to play basketball by myself. When you get better I think you owe me a game."

"Well then I hope I get better really, really, _really _soon!"

"Oh, I think we can all agree on that."

* * *

"Thanks for coming you guys."

It was getting late and Sawyer was getting tired from his long day.

"Of course. Anything for Sawyer."

Hugs were exchanged and once Nathan and Haley were gone, Brooke suggested Sawyer go change into his pajamas. Lucas mentioned that he wanted to talk to Brooke and he said he'd wait until she was done tucking Sawyer into bed.

"Hey, buddy. You all set?" She questioned the young blonde.

"Mhhmm." He nodded, scurrying under his covers. "I missed my bed." He smiled. "And my pillow…And my blanket…And my night-light…And my toys…And you tucking me in."

Brooke felt her eyes tearing as she sat on the edge of her son's bed. She slowly grabbed his hand and held it in hers. "I missed it too, baby…But we're back now, so we don't have to miss it anymore, right?"

"Right." He spoke in agreement before pushing the covers off of his body and moving over to where his mother sat. "Mama?" He looked up at her.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry that Peyton hurt you and daddy."

And that was it. That's what got the tears flowing. Since Sawyer had woken up from his surgery, he had not once mentioned her name.

"Oh, Sawyer…it's…it's okay. It's not your fault. I'm just sorry she hurt you."

"It's okay…'Cause I'm strong now." He smiled lightly, flexing his skinny arms to produce any sort of muscle.

This got Brooke to laugh through her tears. Sawyer always knew how to make her smile.

She brushed a hand through his hair and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"It's getting late." She whispered, pulling the blankets back for him to get under them once more. "I love you, baby. _So much_. Sleep tight."

With one last kiss, she backed up towards the door, shut the light off and left.

He was safe now. And Peyton was gone.

* * *

"Luke…" Brooke walked into their bedroom and found him lying on the bed watching t.v.

"Hey, pretty girl." He spoke softly. "Come join me."

Without hesitation she went and lay down next to him, allowing him to wrap an arm around her body.

"I'm so exhausted." She mumbled, leaning into his chest.

This was another thing she missed. Being able to relax with the man she loved.

"Me too…But today…today was a good day."

"It was." She allowed herself to smile despite sleep taking over.

"Hey…" Lucas gently shook her to get her attention. "We're okay now, right?"

Brooke stared into his eyes, drowning in the deep, blue color. "Of course."

"That's good." He smiled, like he had something hidden up his sleeve. She stared at him curiously, urging him to go on. "I want to marry you, Brooke Davis."

"Well that was the whole point of being engaged." She laughed and wondered just how tired he actually was.

"No." He shook his head and grinned. "I mean soon. Like _really soon_. Now that Sawyer's okay…I don't see why we should wait. I don't care if it's just me and you at this wedding…I want to marry you now."

Brooke couldn't even remember the last time they'd mentioned the engagement. When things had finally settled down after Peyton's arrival, that's when the accident happened. And then it was never brought up.

But Brooke knew she felt the same way.

She just wanted to be his wife.

From the huge smile on her gorgeous face, he knew where this was going, but right as Brooke was ready to answer, the phone rang.

It was late and she had no clue who would be calling.

"Hello?" She quickly reached over, grabbing the phone from the night stand. "Oh my god. Okay…I'll be right there."

Quickly hanging up, she jumped out of bed, breaking into an even bigger smile.

"Haley's in labor!"

* * *

**A/N – How was it?**

**Please review!**

**-Melissa =)**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N – Hey!**

**Thanks: **23LaffertysGurl23, -NCISxBonesxOTH-, craxygirl54, tanya2byour21, Princesakarlita411, ReadingRed, Long Live BRUCAS, liverpoolss, alysef, juicetroop82, **and **Mosie1213.

**Enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 22 –

Lucas couldn't explain the feeling of actually going to the hospital for a _good_ reason. There was absolutely nothing good about their latest visits.

But this time was different. And he was so extremely grateful for that.

They had just celebrated Sawyer's homecoming yesterday, and now it was time to celebrate the birth of Nathan and Haley's first child. They deserved it.

After receiving the call that Haley had gone into labor, Brooke insisted she go to the hospital to be there for the Scott's. And as much as Lucas wanted to go too, Sawyer had just been put to bed, and it had been a long, tiring day for him, so he'd told Brooke the two of them would head over in the morning…and hopefully by then, the baby would be born.

Even though Brooke hadn't even been able to see Haley when she arrived, she'd spoken to Nathan and told him to tell Haley that she was there. She was supporting her best friends, just as they had when Brooke needed it.

A few hours later, Nathan came out with a grin on his face, his life forever changed. His daughter was born.

Haley was exhausted and the baby was going through the normal procedures to test newborns, so Brooke said she'd go home and come back in the morning with Lucas and Sawyer.

"Where is she? Where is she?" Sawyer ran in the room like he owned it and it was like he'd never left the hospital the day prior. He was so excited to see his baby cousin.

Haley was sitting up in bed with Nathan beside her, their newborn cradled in her arms.

Nathan stood up to greet the family.

"Congrats, bro." Lucas smiled, clapping him on his back.

"What's her name, Aunt Haley?" Sawyer curiously asked, standing beside the bed, staring at the baby with wide eyes.

The baby wrapped in the pink blanket gurgled in her arms as she rocked her back and forth. "This is Madeline…" Haley smiled at her young nephew before turning her gaze to Brooke. "Madeline _Brooke_."

"Oh, Haley…" Brooke was at loss for words at such an honor. She felt her eyes begin to burn as tears emerged. "She's beautiful…"

And up until that moment, she had been completely thrilled. Her best friends had just had a beautiful, perfect baby girl.

And then it hit her like a ton of bricks...

…She should have still been pregnant. She would have begun showing by now. And she wouldn't have minded it if she looked as big as a whale. Because she was supposed to be having a baby. A little boy or girl just a perfect as her little niece and goddaughter who had just graced the world with her presence.

A few months from now, she would have been in Haley's spot. She would know how it felt to bring a human being into the world.

And there had been so much chaos and drama that she hadn't really had that much time to fully cope with the miscarriage. It happened to just sort of leave her mind for the time being because she realized that she had to focus on Sawyer. Because he still was there, just fighting for his life.

Suddenly, though, standing in front of Haley and the new baby, it felt like a slap in the face.

Everything Brooke had wanted, she couldn't have. No matter how hard she tried to do everything in life right, for some reason, things just never worked.

"Brooke?" Lucas softly spoke, noting his fiancée wasn't looking so good. "Are you okay?"

She carefully turned around to face him, and with a slight shake of her head, she whimpered. "No…I'm not."

Before anyone could even say anything else, before Sawyer could rush over to his mother to give her a great big hug, telling her not to cry, she rushed out of the room, leaving nothing but confused faces on everyone.

Sawyer looked up to his father with a frown. "What's wrong with mama?"

Lucas sighed with a shake of his head. "Hey, stay here with Aunt Hales and Uncle Nate for a few minutes. Behave yourself."

He quickly walked out of the room, his mind racing with thoughts on where Brooke could have wandered off to.

Thankfully, once he exited the hospital, he realized she hadn't gone too far. In fact, she was sitting right outside the door, on the bench, her face buried in her hands.

"Brooke…"

At the sound of his voice, the brunette picked her head up and wiped her eyes.

"You didn't have to come find me, Luke."

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I did."

Brooke smiled slightly at him. "I just…I thought I would be okay with this…We haven't spoken about…" At this mention, she trailed off and frowned once more.

"…Our baby…?" Lucas filled in the blanks.

At those two words, Brooke let out a soft sob, hiding her face. "I'm…I'm sorry." She shook her head.

"Brooke…Shhh." Lucas wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay. You're allowed to cry." He assured her. "When we were in there…seeing Nate and Hales and their baby…I got sad a little too."

"You did?"

"Of course. But I realized in this past month and half that we can't spend our whole life wallowing and being miserable, because then we miss out on the great things that _do_ happen. We've still got Sawyer…and now we've got a beautiful niece…And if you think that once we're married I won't want to try and have babies with you, you're out of your mind, pretty girl…There's nothing else I'd rather do." He brought her closer in his arms and kissed her forehead.

"We're allowed to feel sad sometimes." He continued. "But we shouldn't let it stop us from enjoying everything else."

Nodding at this, she leaned into his chest. "I love you."

* * *

After a few minutes in each other's arms outside, Lucas and Brooke make their way back inside and up to the maternity ward.

Hand in hand, they returned to the room, both a little happier than before.

"Hey!" Haley smiles brightly. "You okay, Brooke?" She asked with a sad smile.

This time, Brooke was able to grin. "I'm perfect." She glanced at Lucas, threw a wink his way, and then walked over to her best friend, where her son also was.

"So…" She began. "Madeline Brooke, huh?" She laughed. "I think it's a _perfect_ name for a _perfect_ little girl." She leaned over and let the baby grasp her finger with her tiny hand.

"Hey, don't let it get to your head, Davis." Nathan smirked and Brooke just rolled her eyes.

There was no doubt that this would be hard. But as Lucas told her, she couldn't let what had happened ruin everything else.

She wouldn't.

Together, as a family, they'd all be moving on, awaiting the next great things life had to offer. And Brooke was very anxious to see what those things would be.

* * *

**A/N – So, I think it's safe to say this story will be ending shortly…I'd say in about 3 chapters…So if there's anything you'd absolutely love to see happen before it ends, let me know!**

**Please review! Thank you! :)**

**Hope everyone's having a great holiday season!**

**-Melissa**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N – Hey guys! What's up? I suddenly had the urge to write a new chapter for this lol. It's kinda short, but I feel it's satisfying. **

**Thanks: **Princesakarlita411, ReadingRed, dianehermans, Mosie1213, Long Live BRUCAS, **and** tanya2byour21.

**Enjoy&Review!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 23 –

The sun's bright rays illuminated the bedroom as Brooke up one morning. She knew that today would be a good day.

Lately, she had a lot of those kind of days and she was so very grateful that life seemed to be moving along smoothly.

It truly amazed her how strong they were able to grow in such a short amount of time, given the tragedy they'd dealt with.

Sawyer, whose sixth birthday was just around the corner, was to be starting the first grade in a week's time. That thought alone was enough to make Brooke tear at how her baby boy wasn't going to be a baby for much longer.

Nathan and Haley's baby girl, Madeline, had been home for a few weeks already and was doing great. The two were just simply enjoying their family time with their little girl.

And Brooke and Lucas were doing absolutely amazing. Instead of dwelling on all the pain from the past, they'd managed to successfully put it behind them and strictly focus on becoming the wonderful family they once were.

Everything else could wait.

Brooke pushed the covers off of her and smiled slightly as Lucas began to stir in his sleep. She leaned over, placing a kiss on his cheek before getting out of bed.

"Where you going, pretty girl?" She heard him sleepily question.

"To make my two favorite boys a nice breakfast." She replied happily, and Lucas, with his eyes still closed, smiled at the sound of her voice.

"Okay…" He mumbled. "Just don't burn the house down, babe."

She laughed at this and sighed. "I'll try." She replied before exiting and making her way downstairs to the kitchen.

* * *

"Wow!" Sawyer, who had just before hopped down the staircase, two steps at a time, followed the scent of breakfast foods into the kitchen. "That's a lot of food, mama! Who's it for?"

"All for me." She joked with her son, turning around at the sound of his voice to face him.

"Mama…" Sawyer whined.

"Oh, you know I'm teasing you, baby. Where's daddy?"

As if on cue, Lucas walked in, ruffled his son's blonde hair, and wrapped his arms around Brooke.

"Right here." He smirked. "Good morning, fiancée." He spoke, delicately placing a kiss on her lips.

"Mmm, good morning." Brooke smiled.

"Gross!" Sawyer exclaimed, shielding his eyes with his small, chubby hands. "Daddy, I thought you said girls have cooties?" The five-year-old innocently questioned.

This produced a laugh from the couple, as Lucas jokingly pulled away from the brunette.

"Sorry, Sawy, you're right. What on earth was I thinking?"

Sawyer shook his head, grinning. "What would you do without me, daddy?"

Lucas chuckled. "Well…" He began. "For starters, I'd have your share of this french toast mommy is making which smells _incredible_."

"_Hey_!" His son exclaimed defensively.

Brooke giggled as she brought the plates of food over to the table

"You'd give me up for mama's french toast? Can you believe this, mama?" Going along with the joke, the boy asked.

"I must be a pretty amazing cook then, huh?" She remarked, earning laughter from both the guys in the room. "Hey! I think this all came out pretty good."

"We're just kidding, mama." Sawyer answered as they all sat down at the table. "I love when you cook."

"Thanks, baby." Brooke smiled.

The family of three began eating their breakfast as Sawyer made a mess with his syrup. However, Brooke didn't even mind that he was dripping the sticky goodness onto his once-clean white shirt and onto her table linens. She was just so glad to see him so energetic and happy. Because, not too long ago, that had all been jeopardized.

She looked over to Lucas and realized he too had his gaze on their son. He looked just as happy as Brooke watching the young boy.

Their eyes soon after met in a stare and he couldn't help but smile even larger, as she did too.

"So…" Lucas began to start a conversation. "I was thinking today we'd go school shopping considering we have a little boy starting _first grade_ next week. What do you say, Sawy?"

The young boy's eyes lit up. While he absolutely loved staying home for the summer and getting to spend time with his mom and dad, Sawyer was the type of kid who loved school and loved learning.

He obviously got that from Lucas, Brooke always noted.

"Really?" He sounded so excited. "I can pick out my book bag…and lunchbox…and notebooks and folders?"

"That's right." Brooke answered for him. "I'm so happy that you're so excited to be starting up school again, buddy."

Brooke had feared that with the accident and everything, Sawyer wouldn't be ready to go back to school in September once it started. Thankfully the little boy recovered miraculously fast and, aside from his usual check-ups for his heart, he had no further problems as a result of the car accident from two months prior. If anything, the little boy was going stir-crazy from being in the house for so long.

"This year we get to read books with _actual chapters_ in it, mama!" He sounded eager and thrilled. "How _cool_ is that?"

"Oh, he definitely is your son, Lucas Scott." She laughed at her son's enthusiasm.

* * *

The family spent a nice, relaxed day out. It _only_ took Sawyer an hour to pick out which book bag he wanted to start the year off with. They'd managed to get everything that was needed to send Sawyer off to the first grade, as well as a new school wardrobe, making Brooke extremely happy.

As Brooke took Sawyer inside to put all the new stuff away, Lucas went to the mailbox to check the mail.

He flipped through the usual stuff but stopped upon one envelope that certainly caught his interest.

* * *

"Sawyer's upstairs napping. He was so exhausted, Luke." Brooke explained when she saw her fiancé enter the house. Noticing mail in his hands, she became interested. "Anything good?"

"_Actually_..." He held up one particular piece of mail. "_This_ came in…"

She didn't know what "this" was and she wasn't sure if she wanted to either. However, the slight smile that was playing upon the blonde's lips gave her hope that it wasn't bad.

"Luke…what is that?"

"Well, I'm not entirely sure…But it's from a _law office_."

It had been about a month and half since Brooke had last seen and spoken to Peyton. That was when she had walked in to her hospital room and told her she was backing off. She would no longer be a part of Sawyer's life.

Without hesitation, Brooke took the envelope from Lucas's hands and tore it open.

Underneath the legal heading, in bold, capital letters, Brooke's eyes were drawn.

**TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS.**

"Luke…" Suddenly, it was as though she couldn't speak. This was what they had been waiting for. And forever ago it seemed like it was just a silent cry for something nearly impossible.

Her eyes roamed the document, stopping at the signature of Peyton Sawyer.

With her eyes welling with tears, Lucas pulled her into a hug.

"This is it, pretty girl." He whispered, caressing her back. "This is our new beginning."

* * *

**A/N – Two more chapters!**

**And I gotta be honest, I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter out soon, but I can't promise this because my inspiration for this story is seriously lacking. I LOVE this story…but the problem is, when I started writing it, I was absolutely in love Brucas…and that's changed in the (almost) two years since this started. Brulian have taken over my heart, unfortunately leaving Brucas on the backburner. This might even be my very last Brucas story I'll ever write…So I'm sorry if my updates are slow, but I'm trying! Don't worry, the last two chapters will eventually get posted, hopefully sooner than later!**

**Let me know how this was please! I appreciate it!**

**-Melissa =)**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N – Second to last chapter! It's really ending! **

**I hope I did this chapter justice but I'm kinda iffy about it.**

**Thanks: **Princesakarlita411, mickeiblue, -NCISxBonesxOTH-, ReadingRed, dianehermans, Long Live BRUCAS, 23LaffertysGurl23, tanya2byour21 **and** Mosie1213.

**Review please!**

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 24 –

Two months had passed, and to Brooke and Lucas those two months were the fastest they'd ever seen time fly.

It was an eventful two months; Sawyer, who had recently been officially adopted by Brooke, was enjoying himself in the first grade, reading books with "actual chapters in them" as he had expressed excitedly, and baby Madeline was constantly being gushed over by her doting parents who were so very eager to experience all of their baby's firsts.

For Brooke and Lucas, the past two months had been full of planning.

Wedding planning.

Lucas had made it pretty clear he wanted to marry Brooke right away. He didn't care how many guests were present or where it was. All he cared about was making Brooke Davis Brooke Scott.

But Brooke insisted they do things the right way. She'd been planning her wedding since she was a small child and always imagined it to be a big festivity; after all, she was _Brooke Davis_. Besides, she had said, they had been through hell and back and _deserved _something grand and celebratory of their love.

So, she resumed her planning that had been going on from before the whole madness from a few months prior had consumed their lives.

And it seemed like in the blink of an eye it was already two months later and everyone was gathering at the church to watch them get married.

"Dude." Nathan laughed with a shake of his head. "You're gonna burn a hole in the floor."

Lucas stood in the small room, fixing his tie and getting ready as his nerves surged through him. He'd been pacing around for the better part of the thirty minutes since they'd arrived.

"Why are you even nervous? You guys have practically been married since she moved in to take care of Sawyer six years ago." Nathan noted.

Lucas smiled at this and nodded at the truth of his brother's words. His grin grew as he glanced at his three-month-old niece in Nathan's arms.

"Maddy looks happy." He smirked.

"That's because your crazy soon-to-be wife insisted that my infant daughter be the flower girl today. She can't talk, crawl or even sit up on her own, but Brooke refused to take no as an answer. She wanted her Maddy to do this." Nathan chuckled thinking back to a few weeks prior when Brooke had suggested her plan. Obviously Madeline wouldn't be able to be a true flower girl, as she was only a little baby, but Brooke had to incorporate her goddaughter in her wedding somehow. So, she proposed that Nathan would simply walk his daughter down the aisle in his arms, and then proceed to take his position as best man for Lucas. And that would be that. And to be honest, Nathan didn't even care at how ridiculous this plan sounded, because he knew it'd mean the world to Brooke, and it flattered him and his wife to no end on how much Brooke adored their daughter. So, for Brooke, he'd do it.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sawyer had been sent over to go spy on Brooke. Lucas hadn't seen her since last night and he missed her terribly.

Sawyer knocked on the door before walking in. "Hi, mama! Hi, Aunt Haley."

"Hey, baby boy." Brooke grinned widely. She couldn't get over how adorable he looked in his little tux. "How's my ring bearer doing?"

"I'm good. I've just been practicing so I don't drop the rings! But daddy won't let me practice with the real one in case I lose it." He explained.

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?" Haley cut in. "But don't worry, you're gonna do great!"

Sawyer smiled up at his aunt before turning back to his mother. "You know daddy's real scared. He's more scared than me! And that's _a lot_." He remarked.

Brooke giggled. She could just picture Lucas at the moment. Nathan was probably giving him a lecture and Lucas was probably ignoring said lecture, fixing his tie a hundred times because he felt it was suffocating him.

"Well, tell daddy he has nothing to be scared about, okay?" She winked at her young son and soon enough he scurried back out the door, back to his father.

Brooke finished her makeup, placed her veil on and took a good look in the mirror.

This was a long time coming.

Haley smiled happily at her best friend.

"Well, this is it, Brooke. Ready to get married?"

Brooke let out a tearful laugh and smiled. It hadn't even begun and she was already crying.

"I'm _more_ than ready."

* * *

The church was pretty filled up and Brooke had to admit that when she was getting ready to walk down the aisle, she suddenly felt very nervous. And she was never the one to feel shy, as she was always the confident one amongst her friends. It was just that she was so eager and anxious to be standing with Lucas already that her nerves were certainly getting the best of her.

To think that she was only a short time away from becoming Brooke Scott sent shivers down her spine…but in an _incredible_ way.

She decided to walk herself down the aisle. To her, this decision came easily. Her father was never really a prominent figure in her life and neither was her mother for the most part. She'd practically raised herself growing up. It was only until Lucas came along that she really ever relied on another person besides herself. So she found this really suiting.

The way down the aisle seemed like an eternity as the whole time she kept her eyes glued to Lucas.

She couldn't wait to be his wife and from the transfixed look on his face, she knew the feeling was mutual.

* * *

The ceremony was beautiful.

As Brooke stood with Lucas and their son, she truly understood that this was a new beginning for all of them.

Lucas was always a man of words, and this was surely shown with his vows he wrote for Brooke. She thanked god that her makeup was water proof otherwise she'd surely look like a mess by the time reception time came.

She had never felt more love than when he recited his vows and slid her gorgeous wedding ring onto her ring finger.

They were an official family and she was so proud to call herself Brooke _Scott_. The simplicity of sharing a name with the two most important boys in her life was a dream come true.

* * *

They were standing outside the banquet room ready to be introduced to their family and friends as Mr. and Mrs. Scott.

Lucas linked an arm around his wife and pulled her close in his arms. "Is this everything you dreamt of, pretty girl?"

She smiled at him tearfully. "You know it, _husband_."

Lucas smiled greatly at that name he'd just been called. "I don't think I could _ever_ get used to that."

He couldn't believe how far they'd come.

He couldn't believe they had made it.

"Hey…" Brooke whispered lightly, shaking him from his trance. "Before we go in…I have to tell you something."

He stared at her intently. "What is it?"

"Well…" She didn't know where to begin, but she just wanted to get it out because she was sure he would be just as happy with the news as she was upon finding out.

"Remember…that night we…_celebrated_…getting that letter from the attorney's office…"

He could remember it very fondly as it was then Brooke found out that Sawyer could be, and would be, legally her son.

"Brooke…" A small smile played on his lips as he followed Brooke's story.

"I'm pregnant, Lucas." She gave him a dimpled grin as more tears flowed from eyes.

Immediately he drew her in for kiss. "God, that's amazing! I love you so much."

"I love you too." She replied back before laughing a little. "But I _have_ to stop crying or else I'll definitely wind up screwing up my makeup."

Lucas laughed at this too. "Brooke." He told her seriously. She looked up at him with questioning orbs. "I can't wait to start the rest of my life with you."

She sighed deeply at his words, praying she wouldn't cry again.

"Well then lets do this, husband."

"Lets do this, wife."

And as the doors opened, introducing the new couple, all the two could see was their long, bright, happy future together.

And things couldn't possibly have gotten any better.

* * *

**A/N – Let me start off by saying I had a REALLY hard time writing this chapter, which I totally expected. Brucas just aren't the same for me anymore =/ **

**Hope this chapter wasn't too bad though. Let me know your thoughts, it's greatly appreciated!**

**-Melissa**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N – Final chapter! I didn't think I'd ever see this happen!**

**

* * *

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Like a Laceration to the Soul

Chapter 25 –

**12 years later **

Today was a day that had been marked on all the calendars in the Scott household for a few months now.

It was a day that had left Brooke up countless nights prior, thinking and reminiscing on the past. She couldn't believe how much time had passed. It seemed like just yesterday she was visiting newborn baby Sawyer in the hospital, and her Lucas's romance was just beginning to bud.

Now, many years and memories later, she was happily married, with three beautiful children, one of whom was heading off to college.

Today was the day Sawyer Keith Scott, recently turned 18, was ready to start a new chapter in his life over at The University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill.

Lucas and Brooke couldn't believe that their baby was already all grown up and independent. They would have to get used to having one less child in the house, though their two youngest proved to be a handful at times, always butting heads.

Brooke was currently in Sawyer's room helping him pack any last minute things.

"Mom!" Twelve-year-old Zoey shrieked from her room down the hall. "Tell Aidan to get _out_ of my room! I'm on the phone!"

The preteen was already turning into a drama queen, and Lucas saw so much of a younger Brooke in her, it scared him sometimes. And, if there was one thing that enraged her to no end, it was her seven-year-old brother, Aidan, sneaking around in her own room and tormenting her.

With Brooke's hands full with Sawyer, Lucas rushed into the room, scooping his young son up in his arms.

"Come here, you monkey." He swung him over his shoulders so he was upside down.

"Daddy, let me go!" The boy giggled.

"I'll take care of him, Zo." Lucas assured his annoyed daughter as his exited with his laughing son.

Brooke, who was down the hall from the ruckus, just shook her head with a smirk and turned to Sawyer.

"Now how can you tell me you're _not_ going to miss that?"

"I guess I'll have to get used to the quiet." Sawyer smiled.

He adored his siblings and was so glad that they looked up to him as much as they did. He'd taught Zoey how to ride a two-wheeler and taught Aidan how to make a jump shot at the river court. Both the younger ones knew that Sawyer had been born from a different mother, and they had asked him about it frequently when they first found out a few years ago. Aidan was especially curious since he was so young. But it never made them love him less, and it never weakened their sibling bond.

"Plus, I'm only two hours away if anything."

Brooke nodded at this information and sighed, taking a seat on his messy bed.

Two hours away…it was one of the reasons she was so thankful he'd chosen UNC over the other schools he'd been accepted into. He was far away enough to get the true college experience, but close enough to home to return for a weekend if need be.

Even with this, however, the adjustment would still be hard.

Sawyer continued to look through his drawers, seeing if he missed anything during his packing.

He came to the bottom of his sock drawer when he gasped a little, pulling out a folded piece of notepad drawing paper.

"Now _that_ is old." Brooke commented as her son unfolded the paper.

It was the picture that Peyton had given Sawyer when he went to meet her all those years ago.

"Yeah…" The blonde trailed off, letting his eyes wander the drawing.

It all seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Well, I don't need this anymore." He decided, folding it back up and throwing it in the large black garbage bag that was filled with other old things and junk that had been found around his room.

"Sawyer…" Brooke looked up at him, her eyes teary.

He looked at her and frowned, knowing that she was seconds away from crying.

She didn't know what did it, whether it was the drawing itself, the memory and pain that was brought on by the drawing, or just the simple fact that her son was going to college and moving out, but tears were surely about to come.

"Mom…" Sawyer went and sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I just want to say…_thank you_."

Brooke looked into his deep blue orbs, confused at his sentiment. "For what, baby?"

Sawyer took a deep breath. He'd never really done this…Sure, he and Brooke were extremely close, and they always had been, but he never really _thanked_ her for all she had done. For loving him the way she had since the moment he was born, making sure he would turn out to be the best possible person he could be.

"For _everything_. You've looked out for me since the moment I was born. You've looked out for dad too. You showed us _hope_ and you gave me something to live for before I could even _breathe_ on my own. You never gave up on me; on _us_. Where would we be _without_ you? Me, and Zoey and Aidan…we're _so lucky _to have you as our mom…and I _know _I'm gonna be just fine at college, because you've raised me to be independent and strong and you've taught me to make all the right decisions in life. I love you, mom."

Sawyer leaned in for a tight embrace and Brooke held on to him tightly, like she once did when he was a little boy.

She didn't know how she got so lucky to have such an amazing boy like this. Knowing that by volunteering all those years ago, she helped shape him into the incredible man who stood before her today was enough to complete her. He was right, she never gave up. And she never would.

"I love you so much." She was crying now, soaking his cotton t-shirt, but he didn't mind one bit. "You'll _always_ be my baby boy."

* * *

"So I was thinking…" Zoey smiled slyly. "You know…since you've got yourself your own dorm and all, _maybe_ mom and dad will let me turn your room into my very own walk-in-closet?"

Sawyer laughed at his little sister. "You do know I'm coming back home for holidays and stuff, right?"

Zoey pretended to be sad at this, but Sawyer knew she was just kidding around.

"I'm gonna miss you, Sawy. Who else is gonna help me gang up against Aid?"

As if on cue, the seven-year-old boy stormed up to his older siblings. "Sawyer! Do you have to go?" He whined. "I don't wanna stay with Zoey. She'll lock me outta the house again!"

Zoey giggled as she thought back to that incident. She had her phone taken away for a week because of her little prank.

"You two better behave for mom and dad."

"Promise me when you come back we can play at the river court?" Aidan questioned, holding out his pinky for his big brother to latch on to.

"Promise." Sawyer affirmed.

"Alright you two." Lucas walked up from behind. "Why don't you guys go wash up for dinner while your mom and I say bye to your brother?"

Zoey and Aidan said their last goodbyes as they made their way back into the house.

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to come up with you? For the drive…to help you unpack?"

"Mom." Sawyer laughed. "There's no room." The car was completely packed with his stuff. "I told you, I'll be fine."

"Remember, if you have any problems…" Lucas started.  
"...call…" Sawyer finished off with a smirk. "You guys gave me the rundown a hundred times. I've got it covered."

Lucas smiled and handed his son the car keys. "Car's gassed up, you got everything set."

"Yup. So I guess…this is it."

Lucas pulled his son in for a hug. His son, who had been born sick and weak and who fought all odds, turned into this unbelievably amazing man, and he was so proud.

"I love you, son. Be safe."

Lucas tried to contain himself, because he knew his wife surely wouldn't be able to. She started crying since the minute Sawyer opened his acceptance letter to UNC months earlier.

Now it was Brooke's turn, and after their conversation from a few hours before, she really didn't know what was left to be said.

"I love you." She kissed his cheek and held him in her arms. "Call us when you get there."

With one final wave, he got into the loaded car and pulled out of the driveway, leaving Lucas and Brooke to bask in the silence.

Lucas wrapped an arm around his wife's waist and kissed her hair.

"You okay, pretty girl?"

She watched until the car could no longer be seen and gave a stiff nod. "I'll be okay."

He felt her body shake with her sobs, and all he could do was hold her tighter.

"We did good. And he's gonna do _great_."

Lucas owed his life to Brooke. She was the woman who believed in he and Sawyer when it felt like all had been lost.

She had saved them.

And for that, he owed her _everything_.

"I know." She gave a small smile. "I know he will."

Sawyer was off to do great things in his life. This was certain.

And it was all thanks to Brooke.

THE END

* * *

**A/N – So, that's it. After a little over two years, it's over. **

**I truly loved writing this story, from start to finish. I'd say it was an emotional rollercoaster…but an enjoyable one, and I hope everyone feels the same way. **

**Thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed this story and/or put it on alert/favorites. I'd love to hear your final thoughts. THANK YOU! **

**-Melissa**


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